There is a harsh class bias in psychotherapy. If you're in a terrible social position like I am, the therapist automatically assumes that you deserve your poor station and actively sabotages you, based on their assumptions of where you belong. I would imagine there is a great deal of racism as well... I get it bad enough just for being white trash, imagine the therapist's assumptions about a black man or an asian. When their position renders them immune to any criticism and the therapist can make life-destroying threats against someone, it's a scheme ripe for abuse. I can't say I've ever found a single shred of good from that honeysuckle.
I'm currently receiving medication, and the psychiatrist tried to arrange a therapist appointment. I'm doing everything I can to not have to go through it while receiving the drugs (which, at this point, I need). I'm still nervous about what he will do when he reads any of my medical records, because it's very likely I'll lose access to drugs due to my inability to explain what the f is going on; or worse, because of ASD he's going to push me into a group home or some other total nightmare, because he is obligated to and because I don't comply with the hidden rules of the game. It can get even worse, too, because I'm basically unable to hold down an actual job. My life has been destroyed because of their previous "help", wouldn't surprise that they take away what little I have left.
I never had a choice before I was screened out of life. I never asked to go through the nightmare I had to live through as a kid, or the nightmares and bullshit I have to deal with today. I never wanted any of this to be my life when I was growing up. Only out of utter desperation did I dare go back, and I'm probably going to put through more Hell for having the temerity to say that what I went through was traumatizing and totally because other people chose to kick me around. The profession isn't allowed to criticize others who act like intolerable ********.
At least now I don't hear as much screaming in my head. I feel like a zombie and my sexual ability is wrecked, but by now I don't care. That is all there is.
If I weren't in a legal bind, I would NOT be doing any of this, and would tell anyone to run like hell from these people unless you're prepared and doing so with an actual plan. If your legal status is valid and intact, there is absolutely no reason to go through this, except to clear your name (which is getting harder every single day, due to the insane mental health code and this society's embrace of totalitarianism).
The hilarious thing about all of this is that the actual, physical issues with my brain and body are completely irrelevant, because the doctors need to cover their medical malpractice / their belief that I should have been aborted. If they stopped justifying everyone else's shitty behavior and I were permitted to defend myself in a reasonable way, none of this would be happening... but in a world of eugenics, facts don't matter. Only power matters. They won, and they keep winning. I lose and will always lose. I don't need to pay some ******* to ram that in my head and threaten me any time I get too uppity.
I can only hope the outcome of this is not as bad as I dread. I'll keep expecting the worst until I have proof that it won't be.