those really bad days

[raindrop]

not sure where to post this or if starting a new thread would be okay.

yesterday had been really bad. the last week had been a nightmare, I was constantly thinking about my ex and wondering if we could get back together. called him last night to hear his very final decision was a definite no. he said he was sorry, but thinks we shouldn't be together at all. I hung up.

There I was standing on the lawn in the campus where I study, crying and screaming to my mother that I can't take it anymore, that I'm so hurt and so lost and can't do this anymore and in so much pain all the time.

got this strange phone call just then, from a very distant friend who heard my voice and just ran out of the house and took a bus to get to me straight away. then someone I know appeared and sat down with me and tried to help me just breath and relax. it felt very sudden and strange. spent a few hours with that distant friend feeling terrible, like I was dying inside. and later felt better.

woke up this morning pretty depressed and scared of last night's phase reoccurring. and it probably will. I'm still really shaky. do you ever experience these terrible moments? what do you do when it comes?

 

[Paul Meranda]

its an everyday thing for a lot of us. that pain and loneliness .. .. mostly those that have had relationships. everything in time. i heard a quote once, and its a brutal one: "youll think about it all day, then the next day youll think about it a little less, and a little less every day after that..." .. youre a good person and youll be back soon. its just the time in between that's a .. fu-- .. ..

 

[SofiasMami]

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Anyone who's ever been in a relationship that's ended has felt the same feelings.
What have I done when that's happened? To paraphrase one of my favorite writers (Junot Diaz)
- the only way out is in. Allow yourself to face the pain, disappointment, sadness and everything else.
And reach out to others that can help.

-Teresa

 

[raindrop]

Thanks guys.
I read your messages a couple of times but wasn't sure how to reply. Still waiting for a change, for something to happen.

 

[Regumika]

I'm sorry raindrop =( Breakups definitely are not fun... All I cay say is to not push your feelings aside, don't hope for your bad feelings to go away. Be upset, be depressed, be sad, and hurt. You're supposed to feel those. Take those feelings and share it with someone or some people.

 

[raindrop]

I share and I have friends who call a lot but it's still really difficult.
I stopped studying, I stopped doing house chores and lots of simple tasks became impossible, and in the meantime I gotta find a new place to live . I don't know where I'm heading or how to make it through the next few days, to be honest.