Told her...

[MentatsGhoul]

So, as a followup to my last thread in the relationships section (not gonna go over it all again, read here if you care http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=36450), and as the title of this thread suggests, I told her how I felt. The response however, was really not something I expected.

Basically, she said she was confused. Largely, related to two things (as far as I understood her): Firstly, her self-esteem issues mean that she has a hard time getting why I'd feel that way about her (she said "I'm not good" and that she didn't view herself as "appealing" in that way). Secondly, there's the fact that our relationship never felt like the "I feel like I've known you my whole life after a week" type of deal, despite us knowing each other for a fair amount of time and being close, so... basically we don't really fully know each other.

But... she didn't say no. And when I told her (while explaining why I felt this way) that I didn't really have any expectations of her or didn't want to project any image on her of some "perfect girl" that only exists in my mind, but rather, I just want to get to know her for who she is, and that actually being the type of relationship I missed considering the last few girls I into being very much the opposite (got to know each other extremely quick and lots of cutesy bullshit, which, I'm honestly a bit tired of now), she said she felt the same about me, and that she doesn't know how she really feels, because we've both had bad experiences with online relationships in the past.

Today, we spoke much like we always did. Doesn't seem to have affected our friendship at all. But... I feel the answers aren't really there yet, and it might take a while for us (especially her, since it's been on my mind for a while) to figure things out. Now... I'm honestly (for whatever reason) not feeling too anxious or nervous about the situation. But at the same time... I don't know, the rule of thumb tends to be (at least from relationships I've seen) that when the whole "I'm not sure, I'm confused" thing comes up... it's not gonna happen, or if it does, it's one of those "Well, he's nice and we get along, so I guess I like him" type of relationships, rather than something with genuine feelings involved, and will probably end pretty quickly or pretty badly or both. So I don't really know, I'm not expecting much. But, it's not impossible either..... and now I'm just going back and forth

I guess I wanna ask, I know now it's just a "see where things go" situation, but... is there any advice, anything I should do or look out for? Because, I'm just more lost than before now

 

[VanillaCreme]

I would honestly wait. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. There's really not much you can do. You told her how you felt, and that's pretty much all that's in your control.

 

[Cavey]

I agree with what Vanilla said. Take things slowly, keep communicating just as you always have, and hopefully things will work out the way you want them to. The important thing is that you've told her how you feel; it's no longer something that you might have to look back on in the future and think "What if?"

 

[ardour]

You're hoping for feelings to progress normally with someone you've only ever interacted with online. I've never really got online relationships; the medium seems as much a barrier it is a means to getting to know someone. You have to ask yourself "what is going to come of this?" - if there's a low chance of meeting in the near future, then maybe just remain friends and focus elsewhere.

 

[handheart]

Yes wait and be patient its good that you told her what you feel . Its good that you comunicate with her this its an important factor in a relationship