Too shy and don't know where to go from here.

[manwithhat2]

First of all, i've already posted here , but need more advice on where I stand at the moment

I've liked this girl for a while now, but I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right. Or even if it is worth trying at all. She's a nice christian girl, and i'm agnostic, open to religion. She recently invited me to her church. Everyone there seems to be pretty hardcore Christians, and I feel kind of left out, but I'm very honest about my beliefs there and listen to what they have to say. I don't like saying it, but I also feel like they're trying to shove it down my throat. It's kind of like I can't really say too much about my beliefs or I just get stomped on.

To the point here; I can't tell if this girl is interested or not, and i'm just too shy to try and have even a small conversation with her because of my fear of rejection. Is there any way to tell if I have a chance here?

Also, from what I hear, it is wrong for a "believer" to date anyone who doesn't "believe". Am I an ******* for doing what i'm trying to do here? Thanks.

 

[Avaron]

Well, technically in Christian religion, Christians are supposed to avoid being "yoked with unbelievers", which includes relationships and such. But she invited you to her church, so that may or may not be a sign that she wants you to convert.

It seems like you've been putting a lot of thought into it. The only way to end that is to just confront her about it, if you ask me about it. Honesty is the best method to do things. Everyone (ME INCLUDED) has a fear of rejection. But you'll never know if you don't try, and I'm sure that the forums will be here to catch you if all goes wrong. I'm sure it won't, though.

 

[Poguesy]

Sod the religious part and just go the church.

Once ya there have a chat with this lass and see what goes from there.

Tell her you're the baby Jesus she's been waiting for

 

[Tiina63]

I think it might be better to chat with her as well. Just because she goes to a church full of 'hardcore' Christians does not necessarily mean that she is as hardcore as the others are. (I used to go to a Pentecostal church because I liked their style of worship, though I didn't subscribe to their viewpoint on a lot of things.) I am a Christian, but would date/marry a non believer. So it is worth your having a word with her and seeing what happens. Mabye you could suggest going for a coffee?

 

[ajdass1]

My dad converted from Hindu to Christian so he could marry my mom. My dad's family ostracized her because they didn't like my dad marrying a white lady. But eventually everyone came around.

So you should go for it. Call me an optimist, but I say if there's a will there's a way.

 

[manwithhat2]

I think it might be better to chat with her as well. Just because she goes to a church full of 'hardcore' Christians does not necessarily mean that she is as hardcore as the others are. (I used to go to a Pentecostal church because I liked their style of worship, though I didn't subscribe to their viewpoint on a lot of things.) I am a Christian, but would date/marry a non believer. So it is worth your having a word with her and seeing what happens. Mabye you could suggest going for a coffee?

Thanks for the suggestion, I plan on trying coffee once I can drive independently.

 

[floffyschneeman]

It's good that you are honest with your beliefs and whether she's a ''hardcore'' believer is her choice and she should not judge you with yours. I think that it's great to know her first. Some differences in religion/beliefs can be settled for other couples depending on how they handle it and how a big of a part religion/belief is in their lives.

I am a christian but for some years, I have sorta made my own personal belief conforming to what feels honest and true to me. But my faith is very important for me and I think I wouldn't be able to date/marry a man who has a different belief or no belief at all. I know it sounds hypocritical but I see this as this. My faith is part of who I am and not just a group I am part of or signed in for and I'd like to have someone who understands that. It's like one partner wanting a baby and one partner not wanting it.. sooner or later, it'll affect the relationship. So I think even if she's a hardcore christian, it wouldn't hurt to be friends with her and get to know her beyond one aspect of her life. You may or may not get rejected but looking at the bright side, you gain a friend in her. good luck