Trauma some advice would be appreciated.

[zwan]

I know this isn't the right forum or category to post this on. But I think if I do not type what happened out in detail I will go crazy.

2 days ago me my brother and father drove on a highway. In front of us a car tried to overtake a car and there was a head on head crash. Luckily we kept our distance beforehand and we stopped. Me and my father ran to the one car to see that we could help. There was a father that I could see another adult I'm not certain if it was male or female. A kid that I clearly saw and my father said another kid as well. As we came to the car it started to burn of the petrol that leaked out of there car. I tried to open the drivers door. It couldn't open. By this time the flames were quite high. I opened the back door and couldn't see anything but as I did this the flames started bellowing inside. Scared at this point for my and my fathers life I pulled him away and tried to get a fire extinguisher from anyone who also was there. As I got one there car was entirely in flames. My father was at this point just crying and saying we should leave seeing as the ambulance and police arrived at this point. We drove away. Oh and I should say either the people in the car was either unconcerned or dead.

Well I'm clearly suffering from trauma at this point. I can't sleep. I'm struggling to cope with friends. I took one day off work. Don't know if I should take more. The dude in the other car was hurt badly but he should have lived he was concious.

Thoughts running through my head.
I should have gone through the flames to try and save one of the kids.
If there is a god he is one of the most wrath full dicks out there.
I can't get the one kids face out of my head.
The smell of burning flesh and petrol still lingers with me.
I am crying a lot over the kids death.
I feel the most tremendous guilt for not being able to do more.
So many poeple just stared and did nothing I lost a lot of respect for humanity that day.
I saw a family burn to death.

Well I should go for counseling for this. Ill try and see given the time if I can do it. Is there any other help full advice or anything how I can work through this?

 

[Stride]

The most important thing you can do for yourself is realize and understand that what happened isn't your fault. You'll try like hell to kill yourself examining and re-examining what happened and how you could have been more prepared, but the reality is that there was nothing you could do.

The reason people stood there and watched is because they were so afraid that they couldn't react. Can you really fault them for that? Those people probably have never witnessed a situation like that and they froze. You should pride yourself that you at least had the courage to try to help those people, but not everyone has that ability. If you can think of a time where you were so scared you couldn't move or react at all, insert that fear into those people that just watched and you will understand why they just stood there.

If you can't get counseling, the best you can do is talk with anyone that is willing to listen to the story. Your Dad is the first person you should talk with since he experienced the tragedy with you. Any other family, and friends...anyone you can tell and gain some perspective.

The one thing you will hear repeated is that it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could do. Stop going back and imagining what you could've done because you'll ruin yourself that way. You'll be fine, you've just experienced something tragic. You're not alone, just think of all the natural disasters that have happened recently that no one could prevent. You can't stop the chaos of the world.

 

[Darkness]

I'm not trying to sound like a dick here at all and I would of just been like you trying to the help the people out. It was probaly a good thing that you didn't get the kids out. The reason I say this because if you would of hurt them as you pulled them out. You pretty much would be liable for there injuries that you might of caused by pulling them out. I know that sounds absolutely horrible to say, but that is how freaking wrong and sick our whole has turned into today!

 

[Stride]

I'm not trying to sound like a dick here at all and I would of just been like you trying to the help the people out. It was probaly a good thing that you didn't get the kids out. The reason I say this because if you would of hurt them as you pulled them out. You pretty much would be liable for there injuries that you might of caused by pulling them out. I know that sounds absolutely horrible to say, but that is how freaking wrong and sick our whole has turned into today!

Dude, what reports are you reading where people are getting sued for saving someone from incinerating? We're not talking about exacerbating an injury by moving someone who fell down the stairs...from what zwan is describing he had maybe a few minutes to get the family out before they burned to death. If he was able to get them out, he would be celebrated.

 

[Darkness]

Stride I know it sounds stupid, believe me I know. I thought the same **** thing when I heard it also, but zwan had no idea what kind of injuries these people suffered. Everyone of them in the car could of suffered a broken neck. Then zwan came along and pulled them out and now all of a sudden they are all paralyzed because he didn't take the proper precaution in moving someone with a broken neck. I know what you are thinking now. DUDE THEY WOULD OF BURNED TO DEATH!!! Yes you are absolutely right, but zwan is not a trained Paramedic/Firefighter/Police Officer so therefore he is held reliable for damages he might of caused by doing the right thing. Yes I know it is stupid and you might think I'm am smoking something but this is the truth!

 

[WishingWell]

Zwan,

I am so sorry you had to experience such a traumatic situation. You can't continue to blame yourself. You could have been in a state of shock, but you did all you could do. Your Father driving away from the situation was a good idea, because if you witnesssed any more, you would be so much worse off.

Is there a reason you can't get counseling? And, is it possible for your Father to get counselling, also. I believe (this is only my opinion) that talking about the trauma with each other could do more harm than good, since you may and your Father may remember different things than you do and you may make each other remember more of what happened during the situation. Also, talking to friends and other family, may help, but it doesn't take the place of talking to a therapist. I was in an extremely abusive marriage when I was very young, and if I didn't go to counselling, I don't think I would have ever been "normal" again. Of course, your counseling wouldn't have to last as long as mine. I suggest you get it. If you can't afford it, there may be mental health centers in your area which take patients on a sliding scale. Once when I had no job, I payed nothing for a while.

The best to you. I pray for you, your Father, and the family of the victims of this tragedy.

 

[Stride]

Stride I know it sounds stupid, believe me I know. I thought the same **** thing when I heard it also, but zwan had no idea what kind of injuries these people suffered. Everyone of them in the car could of suffered a broken neck. Then zwan came along and pulled them out and now all of a sudden they are all paralyzed because he didn't take the proper precaution in moving someone with a broken neck. I know what you are thinking now. DUDE THEY WOULD OF BURNED TO DEATH!!! Yes you are absolutely right, but zwan is not a trained Paramedic/Firefighter/Police Officer so therefore he is held reliable for damages he might of caused by doing the right thing. Yes I know it is stupid and you might think I'm am smoking something but this is the truth!

Dude, what reports are you reading where people are getting sued for saving someone from incinerating?

Still waiting for some EVIDENCE instead of a malformed opinion based on conspiracy. We should not be deterring people from helping those in IMMEDIATE need, especially when those that are trained for this kind of thing can't arrive in time.

 

[Darkness]

Still waiting for some EVIDENCE instead of a malformed opinion based on conspiracy. We should not be deterring people from helping those in IMMEDIATE need, especially when those that are trained for this kind of thing can't arrive in time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Samaritan_law




Laws for first responders only

In some jurisdictions, good Samaritan laws only protect those who have completed basic first aid training and are certified by health organizations, such as the American Heart Association, or American Red Cross, provided that they have acted within the scope of their training.[17] In these jurisdictions, a person that is neither trained in first aid nor certified, and who performs first aid incorrectly, can still be held legally liable for errors made. In other jurisdictions, any rescuer is protected from liability, so long as the responder acted rationally.[citation needed] In Florida, paramedics and EMTs are protected statutorily from liability, unless they were reckless.
[edit] Canada


http://www.sierrasun.com/article/20090409/OPINION/904099975/1066&ParentProfile=1051

 

[Peter Lorre]

I'm sorry you had to go through that Zwan. You did all you could do though, so you shouldn't blame yourself. Sometimes in life bad things happen for no reason to good people... it's sad, but do't let it consume you aswell.

Anyway, I'm really sorry man. I hope you can feel somewhat better soon.

 

[Stride]

Did you even read the case you presented? The reason there was conflict at all in the courts was because the defendant said that she saw smoke and was afraid the car would blow up, when others testified that there was no imminent danger. If we are to take zwan's account seriously by what he presented (that the car was on fire), then he is not liable for any damages sustained from the act of removing the burning victims from the car.

I agree with you that moving a person who has sustained injury in any way and is in no IMMEDIATE danger, that they are liable for exacerbating injuries. So far you still have failed to provide evidence of a case where a "Good Samaritan" rescued a person from a situation wherein the person being rescued was in IMMEDIATE danger and was in turn sued for making injuries worse.

Edit: This is in response to Darkness.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
Not sure how this thread got off track so badly. In the sue you, sue everybody society of the U.S., yes there are sue-happy people who, led on a leash by ambulance chasing lawyers, will sue people who save their lives. Ridiculous but true. My brother lived several years in Germany and he told me there's a law there that bystanders must help in an emergency. That includes everyone with no bullshit qualifiers of "must be certified in first-aid" or crap like that. I will always stop to help another human who needs it. And I have stopped to help. Sue me. I don't care.

Zwan, sorry to hear you saw such a horrific accident. That is something you will never unsee. If you find yourself thinking about it all the time, I think it would help to talk to a counselor. Remember, though, that you did help. You stopped the car and walked TOWARD an accident scene, instead of walking or driving away. Sadly, there are many people out there that would turn a cold shoulder to something like this, but you didn't.
I often wonder how people who work in emergency services see trauma and death day after day without it severely affecting them. I think I would quit after the first time I saw a bad accident scene.

Teresa