Unknown Girl

[Timeless]

So a month ago before the school semester ended i was on a bus packed with other college student. But through everyone there was this one girl that caught my attention, and we made eye contact for a while, then she got off the bus and even then we just sorta stared at each other till we could no longer see each other.

I've saw actually her a couple more times waiting for the bus after this class that ended around the same time as mine, but she was always with another friends and also in front of this huge crowd of other students waiting to get on the bus. So i couldn't even get to her.

Then one day she sat right in front of me on the bus, and i'm like heres my chance go for it..and you no what happened next...........i wussed out. Yup, haha my one perfect chance (i don't see her every morning nevertheless get on the same bus. But i wimped out. I just felt so tired that morning and was also not too confident with the way i looked. She made eye contact with me when we getting off the bus, but instead i looked on the ground. WTH right? I'm just thinking to myself what a loser. I mean it's not always that hard, but this time i was just so nervous.

Even though i didn't talk to her i listen as she talked to her friend. She seemed so down to earth, nice and funny. And i thought wow she's perfect. Her voice was so soft yet inviting and she looked beautiful.

I've seen her once more time on the bus a week later and of course we held eye contact for a while but she got of like the next stop and i was like uuhh nvm she's gone.

Well i'm back too school for a new semester, and i've yet to see her. It's not like i constantly think about her, but when i do, i'm like "wow i can't believe i missed my chance" she seemed so perfect. An it seems like no one else compares to her.

Well not no one i have a few friends i like and also feel like that but they all have boyfriends, whose all been going with each other for years, and they're the couples who seem like they'd never break up. So i sorta gave up hope on them still friends though. It just seemed like for this girl whose single, and i also really like, sorta gave me some hope again. But i haven't see her since. Campus is big, or maybe we just so happen to miss each other when we're in a crowd.

I know what some of you are thinking, it like i've never even talked to her, which is true. But i'm pretty optimistic about people. I always look at the best of people and when there are flaws i look past them. and also just hearing her talk about some things with her friends made her seem really cool and nice.

Why am i thinking so much about this? Just when i'm bored and lonely it come ups. and i just haven't felt like that toward anyone recently, and it felt good. it felt good to wake up in the morning and think maybe i'll catch a glimpse of her or catch her smile. It just made my day. You know gave some reason to improve myself, exercise, do better, work up my confidence so one day i could actually talk to her.

It sounds stupid haha but thats what it is.

 

[Unacceptance]

There will always be a next time.

 

[SophiaGrace]

There will always be a next time.

agreed

 

[Minus]

Actually, no it doesn't sound stupid.

 

[PieBeNice]

I say keep stalking.

 

[WishIWereA]

I say keep stalking.

You don't really sound like a "Nice pie" :S

 

[PieBeNice]

no

 

[nicbor]

Let me preface this with the following: I think our perspective on this kind of situation is very similar. I feel like I'm giving advice to myself here. Advice which I wish I was smart enough to follow.

Even though i didn't talk to her i listen as she talked to her friend. She seemed so down to earth, nice and funny. And i thought wow she's perfect. Her voice was so soft yet inviting and she looked beautiful.

...

But i'm pretty optimistic about people. I always look at the best of people and when there are flaws i look past them. and also just hearing her talk about some things with her friends made her seem really cool and nice.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. My gut reaction is that it's true you don't really know her yet, so let's not invest too much. Then again, I do exactly the same thing, so who am I to criticize . It can be kind of a nice feeling... refreshing, I guess, to feel like someone's just that perfect. Maybe part of the problem making you wuss out is that if you never talk to her, she'll remain perfect (in your head). Meanwhile, if you talk to her and she's not so great (or thinks that you're not so great), you've destroyed this perfect image.

But that's not really the issue, anyway. Just a detail.

My advice? Think about it this way: If you talk to her and it goes well, you get the girl. Sweet. If you don't, you feel stupid and rejected for a while. But that's not so bad. Shake it off. I guess what I'm saying is that you've got nothing to lose. What if she really is perfect for you and you never even meet her?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Just keep improving yourself...hey, whatever gets you motivated.
That's what I've doing. Out of all the people...it's actaully my ex-wf. It was totally opposite then what i thought
it was going to be. I never expected her to come into my life again.
I've always been head over heel for her. To actaully have sometype of relationship
with her today is sort of a mirracle for me. I was already in the process of working on myself...
but i was still stuck in the rut. She used to call me every morning and just talk to me about whatever
but at the sametime..i also had to get off of my fucken ass to go do something about my life.
She gave me a lot of hope....The unemployment rate where I live is super high. So I got off of my ass
and put myself out there every fucken day...it wasn't easy at first becuase I didn't do anything and when
I finally did put myself out there...I hit fucken road blocks, rejections after rejections. Things wasn't happening,
but I got into the routine of putting myself out there more and more as i went inspite of it all.
hahahaaaa...she actaully gave me a dead line.. But ya know what...i fucken came through or something
finally broke. I'm employ today.

I have hope of course that she will really, really be in my life again someday...that would be a dream come true.
I'm applying the same principle with her or my relationship with her....i put myself out there.
I've always told myself if i had a half a chance with her again...I'd do anything...anything to make things right.
Ok...so things arn't going as we planned...but i know she really loves me and cares about me as a person.
That's more than I can ask for. That's all I really wanted to know. She has given me that.
I can hold my head up today. I tired..I gave myself a chance. I made my amends to her for hurting her.
She's the person that I hurted the most in my life. I'm grateful that I've been given an oppurtunity to make my amends to her
in this life time. Just to let her know..not in a letter that'll I can't send but speaking to her directly before i die or before she die.
If when she dose decide to make her decision that would totally be awesume...
She already told me, she wants me to be happy no matter what. She dosn't want me to carry all of that guilt and shame around anymore.
She also told me that..if I did decide to get involve with another woman..it would break her heart, but she would understands.
In the mean time...I'm still putting one foot in front of the other ...moving forward.
It's the same principle that I'm applying today as when I got clean and sober. It was same principle I applied when I first sing up to this site.
I hitted a major mental and emotional bottom. I kind dug a hole for myself..one foot in front of the other to get myself out.
Things didn't get better overnite....but it graudually got better a little bit at a time. Sometimes It felt like it was going slow motion.
Other times i felt i was reverting. One step forward and two steps back...but you still move forward...Kind of like two step dancing with a country
gal I married mmmm...well we actaully never two step...too bussied lip locking..lol