M_also_lonely
Well-known member
~~~~ Only read it if you're going to read all of it. ~~~~
I have been trying to write this post since a few days. Unable to express the right emotion. This one still might not convey that, but I'll try.
___________________
There is something that you'll never achieve.
I am not saying, "There are some things that you'll never achieve."
Everything you are doing other than survival, is an attempt to distract yourself. From the fact that you are a failure.
Not in society's terms though.
Have you ever had that feeling?
Even if a 100 people say no. 99 will have had that feeling.
You try to get a promotion. Why? Because you feel that what you have now is not enough. Now wait. Pause here.
Why do you think it is not enough?
Where is that feeling coming from?
It is coming from dissatisfaction.
You might say, 'yeah, who doesn't know that?"
But you don't realize that this is just a beginning of a haunting rabbit hole. This word, 'dissatisfaction'.
It traces back its roots to childhood.
If you begin a journey to explore it, to ponder on it, to see where it began, you will be scared. Your inferiority will start reviving and you will start feeling depressed.
I have dared to do it, and I would say, don't do it. Just keep fooling yourself for the rest of your life like you are already doing. Because this feeling, is not a great one. And there is absolutely no solution, to get rid of this feeling. At-least not by some stranger on a forum or by an author of a self help online article.
Before you reach puberty, the world revolves around you. Your view of the world is different. It comes from 'originality'. Whatever you envision, is original. It is your own. Not imposed by someone or the society.
But as you reach a certain age, you start becoming elliptical. The focus is not on the center. You are interested in the other. From now on, you can NEVER go back.
Every thought, every desire, every dream, everything from now on, will be influenced by this new nature that you just achieved. You cannot go back, because certainly, you cannot reverse time. And you cannot undo your aging.
This turn in your life is sows the seed of all your miseries. Miseries that will last forever.
You start the scariest thing to do, that is to compare. Till now, comparison was only on the instinctive level. Discriminating consciously and sub consciously in order to survive. Like, you would eat an apple but not a red ball.
But now, it reaches your intellect. From now on, everything you do, will have an element of the other, someone else. Idk, maybe some mechanisms have changed in your brain.
But now, you'll want a car, to impress someone.
You'll want money, so that you become like someone.
You'll want to write a book, to show the world what a great author you are.
You'll want a guitar. Not so that you can play alone forever in your locked room.
But because you want others to see you playing guitar.
For now, keep aside the people who would actually want a guitar to play it alone forever in their locked room. I'll get back to that.
None of these are creative.
And by creative, I do not mean the Buzzfeed definition of creative.
I mean, original. Genuine. Of. Your Own.
Why is this happening? Because now is the time to reproduce. It is just an evolution of flaunting. Offcourse, you might not see its direct roots in attracting a mate. But that's just your lack of ability in seeing things. Because this tendency has evolved.
I mean, what is the origin of the idea of 'Becoming famous' ?
A dog doesn't want to become the most famous dog in the world. Nor does a crow. It just wants to attract he best mate.
But for you, this phenomenon has evolved. You want to be the best. And knowing that you are not, you live the rest of your life, trying to prove it.
What a waste of life, isn't it?
___________________________________________________________________________
You will achieve some great things on your way. Like, become a billionaire. Even that is a far fetched dream of almost everyone.
You'll become 'famous'. Which basically means, a subject of interest in other people.
You'll even be remembered. But what you created will have no sense of, idk, the word for that.
Maybe, 'godliness' ? 'beauty' ? 'Authenticity' ?
There are hardly any examples of that.
Like the process of giving birth maybe? If you see it non intellectually, basically, a mother, creates something out of her origin. A part of hers. You know. It has no purpose. And by that I mean, from non biological point of view. It is, pure creation. The outcome doesn't matter. She will love her child even if the child doesn't have the perfect eyes. Maybe, if there's a creator, he must've felt the same when he created existence.
__________________________________________________________________________
Why all this?
I have been trying to write this post since a few days. Unable to express the right emotion. This one still might not convey that, but I'll try.
___________________
There is something that you'll never achieve.
I am not saying, "There are some things that you'll never achieve."
Everything you are doing other than survival, is an attempt to distract yourself. From the fact that you are a failure.
Not in society's terms though.
Have you ever had that feeling?
Even if a 100 people say no. 99 will have had that feeling.
You try to get a promotion. Why? Because you feel that what you have now is not enough. Now wait. Pause here.
Why do you think it is not enough?
Where is that feeling coming from?
It is coming from dissatisfaction.
You might say, 'yeah, who doesn't know that?"
But you don't realize that this is just a beginning of a haunting rabbit hole. This word, 'dissatisfaction'.
It traces back its roots to childhood.
If you begin a journey to explore it, to ponder on it, to see where it began, you will be scared. Your inferiority will start reviving and you will start feeling depressed.
I have dared to do it, and I would say, don't do it. Just keep fooling yourself for the rest of your life like you are already doing. Because this feeling, is not a great one. And there is absolutely no solution, to get rid of this feeling. At-least not by some stranger on a forum or by an author of a self help online article.
Before you reach puberty, the world revolves around you. Your view of the world is different. It comes from 'originality'. Whatever you envision, is original. It is your own. Not imposed by someone or the society.
But as you reach a certain age, you start becoming elliptical. The focus is not on the center. You are interested in the other. From now on, you can NEVER go back.
Every thought, every desire, every dream, everything from now on, will be influenced by this new nature that you just achieved. You cannot go back, because certainly, you cannot reverse time. And you cannot undo your aging.
This turn in your life is sows the seed of all your miseries. Miseries that will last forever.
You start the scariest thing to do, that is to compare. Till now, comparison was only on the instinctive level. Discriminating consciously and sub consciously in order to survive. Like, you would eat an apple but not a red ball.
But now, it reaches your intellect. From now on, everything you do, will have an element of the other, someone else. Idk, maybe some mechanisms have changed in your brain.
But now, you'll want a car, to impress someone.
You'll want money, so that you become like someone.
You'll want to write a book, to show the world what a great author you are.
You'll want a guitar. Not so that you can play alone forever in your locked room.
But because you want others to see you playing guitar.
For now, keep aside the people who would actually want a guitar to play it alone forever in their locked room. I'll get back to that.
None of these are creative.
And by creative, I do not mean the Buzzfeed definition of creative.
I mean, original. Genuine. Of. Your Own.
Why is this happening? Because now is the time to reproduce. It is just an evolution of flaunting. Offcourse, you might not see its direct roots in attracting a mate. But that's just your lack of ability in seeing things. Because this tendency has evolved.
I mean, what is the origin of the idea of 'Becoming famous' ?
A dog doesn't want to become the most famous dog in the world. Nor does a crow. It just wants to attract he best mate.
But for you, this phenomenon has evolved. You want to be the best. And knowing that you are not, you live the rest of your life, trying to prove it.
What a waste of life, isn't it?
___________________________________________________________________________
You will achieve some great things on your way. Like, become a billionaire. Even that is a far fetched dream of almost everyone.
You'll become 'famous'. Which basically means, a subject of interest in other people.
You'll even be remembered. But what you created will have no sense of, idk, the word for that.
Maybe, 'godliness' ? 'beauty' ? 'Authenticity' ?
There are hardly any examples of that.
Like the process of giving birth maybe? If you see it non intellectually, basically, a mother, creates something out of her origin. A part of hers. You know. It has no purpose. And by that I mean, from non biological point of view. It is, pure creation. The outcome doesn't matter. She will love her child even if the child doesn't have the perfect eyes. Maybe, if there's a creator, he must've felt the same when he created existence.
__________________________________________________________________________
Why all this?
