Useful Advice For Meeting The Opposite Sex Online.

[TheWalkingDead]

My friends are all female so I am obviously not too scary in real life

How can they not be afraid of you?! You're a walking corpse. lol, jk

:club: lol!

 

[Midnight Sky]

As several folk on here know, I met my husband on a dating site Most that I deleted were "hi you're hot, up for some fun" kinda messages (and I am really not hot so the wafts of desperation were obvious).

I know this is an old post, but I wanted to point out that when we say these things, it isn't always a part of a pick up line, or desperation. They may really think you are hot. It is just how YOU perceive yourself. We're not all coyotes looking for a quick sexual fix. There is some sincere guys out there..

 

[TheWalkingDead]

As several folk on here know, I met my husband on a dating site Most that I deleted were "hi you're hot, up for some fun" kinda messages (and I am really not hot so the wafts of desperation were obvious).

I know this is an old post, but I wanted to point out that when we say these things, it isn't always a part of a pick up line, or desperation. They may really think you are hot. It is just how YOU perceive yourself. We're not all coyotes looking for a quick sexual fix. There is some sincere guys out there..

Ironically when one woman I had managed to start conversation with, suddenly stopped replying, I sent a message to ask why about a week later, she replied to say that she'd got carried away with all the messages saying "hi you're hot" and found it flattering, so although she'd mentioned quantum physics and psychology etc in her profile, and although I could talk about philosophy, psychology, literature and other high brow things till the cows came home, I was destined to lose out to people who could write "hi you're hot".

At least in that case! I think it's dangerous to generalise, but I think the odds are rather stacked against some of us!

Interestingly when I was in my early 20s I used a penpal/dating service that used snail mail, I got replies to pretty much every letter I sent, often long, beautiful letters, and even met some people, seemed to work much better, people would even usually write back to say if they weren't interested. Unfortunately they shut down saying the internet had now made it much easier for like minded people to contact each other :club:

 

[Walley]

some girls like to be spanked and choked too, but that doesn't necessarily represent the majority.
I think the best advice to follow would be that of a female who says anything that can be perceived as desperation is a turn off.
your intentions may be all well and good, but that does you no good if it can be seen as insincere.

 

[EveWasFramed]

My friends are all female so I am obviously not too scary in real life

How can they not be afraid of you?! You're a walking corpse. lol, jk

:club: lol!

Just so you know, clubbing is actually an expression of affection here on the forum. lol

EDIT: Well, unless it's a reply to a post that makes you really wanna club the person. (wary) lol

 

[theraab]

The problem with putting up a unique profile is most of the time, and especially for shy introverts, it requires you to stretch the truth so far that it becomes false advertising. I am personally against doing this and it certainly would do me no favors should I ever end up meeting someone from there.

A unique profile doesn't mean you need to stretch the truth at all - you just need to speak the truth about yourself in a unique way. For instance, instead of saying "I'm really romantic" you say, "I'm looking for someone who wants to sip hot cocoa with me on cold days as we build gingerbread houses", or something like that. They say the same thing (essentially), but the former is boring, the latter paints a picture of what kind of person you are and what kind of partner that you want. Reading lists of likes and dislikes is boring - you have to do a little bit more showing rather than telling.

Also, if you are shy/introverted, is don't mention that in your profile. Four of the girls I met on eharmony told me they contacted me because I didn't seem like I was shy - all four said that some of the guys they've met on there are too shy, and that they didn't want to have to keep the conversation going by themselves.

You should try to play up your strengths - think about it from the perspective of someone who might be interested, and ask yourself, "What do I have to offer a partner?"

 

[EveWasFramed]

that they didn't want to have to keep the conversation going by themselves.

Good post - also, the bit I've quoted above is something I have a little experience with. It becomes VERY awkward when one person has to keep the conversation going. Downright uncomfortable even.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

My friends are all female so I am obviously not too scary in real life

How can they not be afraid of you?! You're a walking corpse. lol, jk

:club: lol!

Just so you know, clubbing is actually an expression of affection here on the forum. lol

EDIT: Well, unless it's a reply to a post that makes you really wanna club the person. (wary) lol

Noted! :club:

 

[EveWasFramed]

Noted! :club:

Great. Just so we're clear on that. :club: lol


Ps. You will REALLY feel warm and tingly when someone deems you worthy enough to be clubbed with a fish.

 

[Limlim]

some girls like to be spanked and choked too, but that doesn't necessarily represent the majority.
I think the best advice to follow would be that of a female who says anything that can be perceived as desperation is a turn off.
your intentions may be all well and good, but that does you no good if it can be seen as insincere.

Like Eve!

 

[EveWasFramed]

some girls like to be spanked and choked too, but that doesn't necessarily represent the majority.
I think the best advice to follow would be that of a female who says anything that can be perceived as desperation is a turn off.
your intentions may be all well and good, but that does you no good if it can be seen as insincere.

Like Eve!

I totally do NOT want to be choked! :club:

 

[Batman55]

A unique profile doesn't mean you need to stretch the truth at all - you just need to speak the truth about yourself in a unique way. For instance, instead of saying "I'm really romantic" you say, "I'm looking for someone who wants to sip hot cocoa with me on cold days as we build gingerbread houses", or something like that. They say the same thing (essentially), but the former is boring, the latter paints a picture of what kind of person you are and what kind of partner that you want. Reading lists of likes and dislikes is boring - you have to do a little bit more showing rather than telling.

Also, if you are shy/introverted, is don't mention that in your profile. Four of the girls I met on eharmony told me they contacted me because I didn't seem like I was shy - all four said that some of the guys they've met on there are too shy, and that they didn't want to have to keep the conversation going by themselves.

You should try to play up your strengths - think about it from the perspective of someone who might be interested, and ask yourself, "What do I have to offer a partner?"

You are correct on this, but I think I was looking at it from a different angle. Very often I've read that guys need to make themselves look exciting or adventurous or show diverse interests, essentially put up a profile that would make yourself appear as if you could be a tour guide for a girl coming to a new town, willing to go places and take the lead and so on. (And that is a figure of speech, I don't mean a guy needs to have the skills a tour guide would have, but having social skills and showing it in your profile will be a major advantage IMO.)

And so I'm looking at that advice and realizing that it is not me, just like many other desirable traits of guys are not me, so no matter what I do in terms of crafting a good shiny profile, I am simply forced to distort some things.

But then again I simply don't have anything slightly resembling status or ambition or credentials, so I suppose that is the bigger of the two problems. I can barely list anything in that area, basically, so that means I am truly dead in the water on dating sites.

 

[StarvingZombie]

Ps. You will REALLY feel warm and tingly when someone deems you worthy enough to be clubbed with a fish.

Ah yes , first one finds the fish :

[video=youtube]

then comes the ritualistic dance :

[video=youtube]