Wait for love or look for it?

[bish33]

I have sat in front of my computer for over two **** hours trying to write something that makes sense to more than just me. I have so many thoughts in my head and want to write it all down. Every time I start to write it all falls back onto something that I don’t want to make it about, my last relationship.

I have been told so many times that you can’t look for love. We all look for it, we just find it when we don’t expect it. I always seem to find it, but the other person doesn’t.

So my question is a question that every one of us has asked so many times. How do you find the one? The area I live in, I am not the typical person down here. Which makes it very difficult to meet someone. I have a great job, not a bad looking guy. I seem to only attract females that are in some sort of dysfunctional relationship and basically just want to use me to fill the void they are not getting at home. Not always in a sexual way.

 

[LonelyDragon]

Well, I'm definitely not the one to give advice here. I've gone out and looked for it and gotten myself into the situation that I'm in now. But then again I think sitting around and waiting for her to spontaneously knock on your door --- well you can see the problem with that.

I think the thing that maybe many of us need to do is to change our habits. If you're not meeting the type of people you want to in the places you're going now, go somewhere new. Change your hangouts. Even your grocery store. you know, things like that to meet new and hopefully different people.

 

[bish33]

Well, I'm definitely not the one to give advice here. I've gone out and looked for it and gotten myself into the situation that I'm in now. But then again I think sitting around and waiting for her to spontaneously knock on your door --- well you can see the problem with that.

I think the thing that maybe many of us need to do is to change our habits. If you're not meeting the type of people you want to in the places you're going now, go somewhere new. Change your hangouts. Even your grocery store. you know, things like that to meet new and hopefully different people.

The hardest part of it all is my location I feel. I don't speak Spanish and well where I live most people do. Females down here expect you to just give everything to them and basically nothing in return. I know not everyone one of them is like that, the ones I have found either in person or online have been. Even the girl I dated this past summer. She was great for many reasons. She expected much more than she was honestly willing to give. It's all just very frustrating.

 

[eviloreo]

i have a belief that everyone has a "pouch" of people with them at all times, people they are compatable with. If your able to meet with someone and learn that both of you have the other in each other's pouch then the whole lovely dovey thing can happen.

So in a way you have to go out looking for love, but you can never expect to find it

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yeah like Lonelydragon and Evildor say...

You have to expose yourself or throw yourself out there.
It's worst then a crap shoot. There's no garantees.

I dunno, I'm no relationship expert that's for darn sure.
Better to have lost at love than to have never love at all....i guess.

Yeah..I know what you mean about having a radar for those
hawt dyfunctional women. I seem to pick them out of crowd
that's for darn sure.

Probably becuase I came from dyfucntional too.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What I've learned over time was that if I just stop worrying about it, it will come to me. So, my advice would be to just stop thinking about. Don't worry about it. Don't concern yourself with it. Great things happen over time.

 

[SadRabbit]

In my opinion, searching for love is a time waster. Sometimes, it really boils down to fate, if you are destined to have a relationship, then yeah, good for you. If you are like me, then bummer....but that is the way how life works.

 

[Naleena]

Hey ((((((((((((((((((Texas)))))))))))))))
Here is my answer but, it may not be the one many people care to hear. First and foremost, if someone is just out of a relationship, stay away from them. They will use you to fill the void and once that void is filled....you aren't useful anymore. Been there, done that DOn't be a rubberband man.

As far as finding love, I think the best way is to work on yourself. Be willing to grow and be a better person. Take care of yourself- physically and mentally. Be the best person you can be and enjoy your life. When you do that you become a beacon. People see that and that is attractive. In my opinion, it's not so much going out to find love as it is being found. I know for you guys thats a lot harder.

In the meantime, it's ok to date and have fun. Just make sure you don't let anyone use you emotionally or otherwise.

 

[kjjerm]

Both! **** it! xD

In my amateur opinion, love is both stumbled upon and found. Look, sure, but don't jump at every shiny opportunity that comes along.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Both! **** it! xD

In my amateur opinion, love is both stumbled upon and found. Look, sure, but don't jump at every shiny opportunity that comes along.

Agreed wholeheartedly. All that glitters is not gold.

 

[Scorn_Dem17]

I'd say as the female to wait to be found.

 

[kismet]

I have been told so many times that you can’t look for love. We all look for it, we just find it when we don’t expect it. I always seem to find it, but the other person doesn’t.

So my question is a question that every one of us has asked so many times. How do you find the one? The area I live in, I am not the typical person down here. Which makes it very difficult to meet someone.

I can relate to the way you're feeling.

I've always been the kind of person who never went looking for love. Mostly because the majority of the people that live in my area are very promiscuous and are serial daters like crazy. Not my cup of tea. I've watched several of my friends go through guys left and right because they are always looking for that someone, they're just too determined to be with someone that loves them for them. I think when you're too determined to find 'the one', it fogs your mind. Maybe even blinding you from seeing what you really want in a relationship.

For some reason, I always felt like there would never be anyone that would cross my path because I am so different from most people as well. But surprisingly, that guy eventually did cross my path.. online. Kinda strange to most people but since we spent so much time online getting to know each other and learning about each other's personalities and inner most thoughts, we got to know each other on a deeper level. It was such a great beginning to a 'real' relationship.

My advice to you would be to not think about it so much, it will probably hit you when you least expect it. I know mine did.

 

[Unacceptance]

Take the advice comic books taught me.


Kidnap her, then give her an ultimatum. As soon as the Stockholm syndrome kicks in, it's smooth sailing.

 

[Papabear]

Don't look for love, look for people that enrich your life. If you are diverse enough to include members of the opposite sex then you will eventually meet someone that you could love.

 

[jasmin]

Stockholm syndrome LMAO!!!! Yes trauma can bind two people together
I say wait for it! It happened to me when I wasn't actively seeking it. Now I wish it never happened oh well...I'm sure lots of people feel that way.

hmm...you want it for ages then it happenes and then you don't want it anymore. bit like sex actually...

 

[snow]

Either approach sucks imho. This might sound emo, but if you are looking for it, you at least can whine to your friends about it and they will try to help you.

 

[jasmin]

Yeah that does sound emo. I think you can whine about love to people whether you're looking or not. That's half the fun

 

[Hijacc]

Look for it sittng on your ass and whining all day doesnt help....

Sad but its true.... T_T

 

[jasmin]

I think some people are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over-thinking this!

 

[Bluey]

Don't look for love, look for people that enrich your life. If you are diverse enough to include members of the opposite sex then you will eventually meet someone that you could love.

This, Ye I agree with this and it is what I try to do.