- Dec 23, 2022
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Hello there, I am a 49 year old male in the ststes but I can relate to many of the things you wrote. From my late teens on I felt isolated even though I had some "friends". I later realized they weren't real friends as much as they just liked whatever I could offer them. It was hard to have long term relationships with girls cause I always wondered if I was saying the right things or acting like a normal person. I went to a psychiatrist in my 20's and he just kept prescribing anti depressants. I think I tried 40 or so different ones in 2 years but they made me worse. I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I was put on Ritalin for that in my early 30's.Hey, I’m new here. Just a British girl hoping for some respite.
I’m 23, live alone, not much family- not any that are really worth seeing.
I’m pretty different, or I think of myself as so, I’m autistic, adhd, overly emotional in such complex ways. I feel so different. I feel as though I can’t connect to anything. I wake up crying most days as I’m already dreading the day ahead, and I guess I’m weird so I avoid being around others, I know they think I’m weird. Not that people dislike me but I always feel like the bit of the joke if that makes sense. Nothing makes me happy and it only seems to get worse. I’m told a lot that I don’t ‘look autistic’ or ‘look unwell’ which is something that really hurts me. I’m not sure how someone can look stereotypically autistic, I think it’s just a less rude way of saying I don’t look disabled. As soon as I open my mouth though I get asked if I take drugs, I say odd things I guess and I don’t stop talking. Like ever. It hurts when people think that my behaviour is that odd that I must be on drugs. I’ve never met anyone that I feel I can truly relate to and all my friendships and relationships are fleeting. I just want to stop feeling like I’m living in a locked glass box unable to connect to anything, but watching the world go by.
I am so lonely to my core, and desperate for a true friend. I think a lot of people enjoy my company, but friendship doesn’t come easy to me like I’m not sure how to act. The only thing that gives me a sense of belonging are my dogs and cat, I’m not sure where I’d be without them. I don’t drive and have no friends where I live, so it’s just me and the animals, they help so much but it just isn’t enough sometimes
Thanks for reading, I hope someone responds.
My late 30's I had just about given up when I met someone at my job. She actually started talking to me and it was the first time in my life I actually didn't worry if I was being "normal". We talked a few minutes at work and then we both kind of hinted at going out after. So we did and fast forward to the present and we have been married for 14 years. I also had dogs and later a cat (1st one named Patches) my whole life. I have lost 4 dogs, all golden retrievers to cancer. My last dog Marty just died this past September 22nd. I havn't gotten any better since because he was my baby. My wife and I have 2 cats and they 2 are my fur babies.
My point is never give up and dont think anything is wrong with you. Everyone has flaws and issues but most dont care or think they do. People like you, myself and millions of others realize how hard life really is. How hard it is and how much work it takes to make a real friend! I dont have any social media anymore. I remember people having 1200 "friends" on facebook. Thats a fantasy world and much of society would rather live in a fantasy world rather than the real world. Its very hard for some people to live in such a cruel world and it should be. So just keep on loving your animals and a friendship/relationship will develop when you least expect it to. There isnt anything wrong with you. Take care of yourself.