Hello!
Please forgive me if I unexpectedly broke some of the forum rules, I'm a newcomer and don't have so much experience with this forum.
Also forgive me for my grammar mistakes (if there are any).
Anyhow, I've gotten myself in a weird situation in which I have become lonely and lost all of my close friends.
Here's my story:
I'm 19 years old now and I have just finished my high school. At first, when I started high school I was kind of a nerd, but I still had 5-6 close friends and many other good friends, neighbors etc. Then I was 14 years old. My high school is primarily focused on mathematics and IT, so I thought I found my "computer paradise". Life seemed fine, but then people from my class started to ignore me and avoid me and I fell into a clinical depression. I struggled with this depression more than 3 years and then my uncle died. It was a horrible tragedy in my family and that changed me a lot. Now it seems to me that I have completely changed from that insecure nerd I was. I lost some weight, started going to gym, I became more serious and introverted, I started reading dozens of books, I started going to nightclubs and I developed my self-esteem.
I became more ambitious. I said to myself: "Stop being depressed, it's time to make changes, to act!"
However, my close friends weren't supporting me in my plans. They fell in drug addiction. That overloaded my mind even more.
There was also a girl in my class in which I was in love, but she kept constantly pushing me away. On her 17th birthday I bought her a cross in jewelry. She took the present but said to me that from now on she will ignore me (I thought: "What the hell?!"). She humiliated me in front of my class, and by the end of high school she ended up with a guy from our same class whose father is executive manager in some profitable company. I barely managed to survive "prom dance". In those couple of weeks when everyone in my class started to seriously avoid me, I felt so lonely that I cried and vomited almost every day until I finally left high school.
Anyhow, high school ended. I always thought that I was ignored in my class because I came from poor socio-economic background unlike my colleagues. I couldn't stand that hypocrisy from people in my school so I cut all connections with those people and ended up alone. It was hard school so I was studying all the time, and by its end I couldn't even go out with anyone because I had to learn a lot for my final exams.
So, I lost connections with people from my school, I lost connections with people from my primary school, when my uncle died my family split, so I ended up only with my father and mother.
All I have "kept" are my close friends.
But my close friends are druggies. And I don't know how to help them.
I lost interest in mathematics and I enlisted myself to faculty of sociology and comparative literature. Like I mentioned before, I have big ambitions, I would like some day to pursue a career in politics.
I have found myself in a weird situation in which I have no close friends, people with who I can talk about my love life and my personal problems. I don't have a friend who will support me or even try to understand me what I want in my life.
My close friends are so deep in their drug addiction that I don't know how to help them. I mean, they're all I have, but still they're horribly dragging me down. They talk about drugs all the time. They're completely different people compared to what they were 4 years ago.
So, here I am. All alone. Without friends. It is a weird feeling since all my life I had at least one sincere friend, and now I'm questioning myself where did things go wrong?
My question is: should I stay or should I go?
Actually: should I dump my close friends who are drug addicts and completely cut relationship with them or should I try to help them?
(I don't want to report them to authorities because I don't want to be a traitor).
Thank you for your feedback and advice.
If you have any question be free to let me clarify my story to you.
I would also like to mention that I tested myself several times with Myers-Briggs Indicator and that my personality type is INTJ.
Please forgive me if I unexpectedly broke some of the forum rules, I'm a newcomer and don't have so much experience with this forum.
Also forgive me for my grammar mistakes (if there are any).
Anyhow, I've gotten myself in a weird situation in which I have become lonely and lost all of my close friends.
Here's my story:
I'm 19 years old now and I have just finished my high school. At first, when I started high school I was kind of a nerd, but I still had 5-6 close friends and many other good friends, neighbors etc. Then I was 14 years old. My high school is primarily focused on mathematics and IT, so I thought I found my "computer paradise". Life seemed fine, but then people from my class started to ignore me and avoid me and I fell into a clinical depression. I struggled with this depression more than 3 years and then my uncle died. It was a horrible tragedy in my family and that changed me a lot. Now it seems to me that I have completely changed from that insecure nerd I was. I lost some weight, started going to gym, I became more serious and introverted, I started reading dozens of books, I started going to nightclubs and I developed my self-esteem.
I became more ambitious. I said to myself: "Stop being depressed, it's time to make changes, to act!"
However, my close friends weren't supporting me in my plans. They fell in drug addiction. That overloaded my mind even more.
There was also a girl in my class in which I was in love, but she kept constantly pushing me away. On her 17th birthday I bought her a cross in jewelry. She took the present but said to me that from now on she will ignore me (I thought: "What the hell?!"). She humiliated me in front of my class, and by the end of high school she ended up with a guy from our same class whose father is executive manager in some profitable company. I barely managed to survive "prom dance". In those couple of weeks when everyone in my class started to seriously avoid me, I felt so lonely that I cried and vomited almost every day until I finally left high school.
Anyhow, high school ended. I always thought that I was ignored in my class because I came from poor socio-economic background unlike my colleagues. I couldn't stand that hypocrisy from people in my school so I cut all connections with those people and ended up alone. It was hard school so I was studying all the time, and by its end I couldn't even go out with anyone because I had to learn a lot for my final exams.
So, I lost connections with people from my school, I lost connections with people from my primary school, when my uncle died my family split, so I ended up only with my father and mother.
All I have "kept" are my close friends.
But my close friends are druggies. And I don't know how to help them.
I lost interest in mathematics and I enlisted myself to faculty of sociology and comparative literature. Like I mentioned before, I have big ambitions, I would like some day to pursue a career in politics.
I have found myself in a weird situation in which I have no close friends, people with who I can talk about my love life and my personal problems. I don't have a friend who will support me or even try to understand me what I want in my life.
My close friends are so deep in their drug addiction that I don't know how to help them. I mean, they're all I have, but still they're horribly dragging me down. They talk about drugs all the time. They're completely different people compared to what they were 4 years ago.
So, here I am. All alone. Without friends. It is a weird feeling since all my life I had at least one sincere friend, and now I'm questioning myself where did things go wrong?
My question is: should I stay or should I go?
Actually: should I dump my close friends who are drug addicts and completely cut relationship with them or should I try to help them?
(I don't want to report them to authorities because I don't want to be a traitor).
Thank you for your feedback and advice.
If you have any question be free to let me clarify my story to you.
I would also like to mention that I tested myself several times with Myers-Briggs Indicator and that my personality type is INTJ.
