Went to my bro's grad...so many beautiful girls...just destroyed my self-esteem.

[Luna]

They all look like this:

Wow...no wonder nobody wants me. ):

(Don't tell me that..."Blahblahblah, I don't like implants/ heavy make-up/ blahblahblah etc. and would prefer a more natural/ normal etc. girl blahblah." Personality aside, all that just isn't true. I am ******* tired of being told I'm nice and sweet etc. blahblah and then have the hot ***** - their words, not mine - win their hearts over. People will go the "average" when they can't get the "best". It's just how things are. I'm tired of having false hope.)

I keep telling myself, "I'm too good for them - their loss, I'm too good for them - their loss..."
But in all honesty, I think I'm just trying to fool myself.

After that, I ask myself...
"Why am I so obsessed? Why do I keep hurting myself like this?"
And then I hate myself even more for being so selfish and conceited. ):

I don't know what the fresia is wrong with me.
I wish this voice...inside my head, that keeps on telling me that I'm not worth anything - would just leave me alone.

Seeing all these young, beautiful girls destroyed the very little bit of self-esteem that I did have.

Even in my dreams, it's not myself that I dream.
Since I was young, I've rarely have had a dream where I was me.
I am always someone else.
A more fun, vibrant, confident personality and beautiful.

I hate myself even more now for being so ******* obsessed with myself.
The feeling that I get when I wake up is...
I just feel bad to be me.
I know there's so many people worse off than me, but I can't stop these feelings of being a failure.
Can't even form friendships properly; I crave for interaction with people but yet I hate them for how hurt I get over it...and then I hate myself some more.
Being around people...it's the only time I feel like a normal, social being.

I am trying to be pro-active; I've taken Art classes which has kept me busy, and am volunteering this summer.
But I still feel like honeysuckle.

I went to see my family doctor, but I can't afford a counselor.
I can't afford $100+/ hr.
Why the fresia are they paid so much?
Do people go into this profession solely for the money?
Or to help people?
I don't know how the fresia to afford...
I can't tell my family, because they'll just reinforce my feelings...
They tell me not to get help...

But I really want to get better...
Then I can start helping other people, but right now, I can't even help myself...
I feel guilty posting advice here sometimes...
Because I can't even follow it myself...
Hypocrite.

Just tell me I'm stupid, useless, dumb...
Might as well.
You all give me advice over and over, but I still can't help myself. ):

Perhaps if I hear it in person, that could be different...
Because anyone can type anything...
I suppose they could still lie in real life, but it's not as easy as it is online I suppose...
Or maybe I'm just biased due to a disappointing meetup with an online friend...
I asked him, why did he want to be my friend...
He said, he wanted to help me, that he was genuine and different...
And then upon meeting me, keep pressuring me to do things that I wasn't ready for...

Oh well...
I don't know...
I don't know if I really care at this point...
I'm kind of like a lost hope...
That rambles on here on a daily basis...

I don't know what you think...
Just say whatever I suppose...
I don't really know anymore...

 

[Badjedidude]

Actually, those women look fake to me. I MIGHT agree that the one on the right is pretty, but that's only because she doesn't appear to be as anorexic as the other two. Those fake-lookin' boobies don't help much, either. I can't see their faces because makeup is in the way. And they look orange...wayyyy too tanned for my tastes.

Quite simply put: I would NOT be attracted to those women if I met them in person. *shrug* And I'm totally serious about that.

I like real women, not barbie dolls.

EDIT: You are beautiful, Luna. I think you're prettier than those bimbos in the picture. Seriously.

 

[edgecrusher]

Actually, those women look fake to me. I MIGHT agree that the one on the right is pretty, but that's only because she doesn't appear to be as anorexic as the other two. Those fake-lookin' boobies don't help much, either. I can't see their faces because makeup is in the way. And they look orange...wayyyy too tanned for my tastes.

Quite simply put: I would NOT be attracted to those women if I met them in person. *shrug* And I'm totally serious about that.

I like real women, not barbie dolls.

same here. i dont like fake looking boobs and fake looking tans. i actually prefer lighter skin. and this may sound weird but i dont like fake fingernails. i dont know why i just dont. they do look like barbies. i prefer beautiful women over "hot" girls if that makes any sense.

 

[Samuel]

Actually, those women look fake to me. I MIGHT agree that the one on the right is pretty, but that's only because she doesn't appear to be as anorexic as the other two. Those fake-lookin' boobies don't help much, either. I can't see their faces because makeup is in the way. And they look orange...wayyyy too tanned for my tastes.

Quite simply put: I would NOT be attracted to those women if I met them in person. *shrug* And I'm totally serious about that.

I like real women, not barbie dolls.

EDIT: You are beautiful, Luna. I think you're prettier than those bimbos in the picture. Seriously.

Agreed! The one on the right is the most appealing, though doesn't really tickle my fancy. I tend to go for the women with a bit of weight ;-) As for makup... I HATE IT! Maybe a it of mascara but that's about it.

I can't even help myself...

You can do anything, really! It's not something that will happen over night, but over a whole life.

How you come across to people (guys) is more important than how you look. As long as you are clean and tidy I am sure most guys would be after you.
As I say, once you are happy with yourself, you will attract.

 

[Lawrens]

I don't find them attractive, but maybe that's why I'm such a loner, haha.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Badjedidude: To be honest, I do not really find those girls attractive. I mean they have nice bodies and I would have no problem being aroused enough to have sex with them. However, they just don't work for me. How much of them is naturally beautiful? How long did they spend in the bathroom preparing for that picture?

Guys who are worth being with do not just want a woman who only knows how to be pretty. I have never seen a pic of you Luna, point me to one . However, the fact that you can write something filled with so much emotion says to me that you are better than all those girls.

I am right there with you on the insecurity thing tough. That one guy standing behind the girls makes me feel like a slob.

 

[Haz]

Sure, they are pretty girls but they also probably vain and boring as hell to be around. Think of the type of men they attract, would you really want the attention of every greased up sleazeball under the sun lying to you trying to get into your pants? Would being so high maintenance to keep up with all your catty friends in the beauty stakes really be a good thing?

There is no need to be jealous or even consider where you stand amongst these people at all.... just try and find the right avenue to your own personal happiness. There WILL be people who appreciate you for who you are, don't sell guys short by claiming they all want the perfect model/porn star look in a partner because its just not true. You have so much to offer someone even if you don't realise it yet, just hang in there.

 

[Danielle]

luna, I'm in the same boat... granted, I do not want to look like those girls in that picture, but I would like to feel pretty and wanted. In fact, someone today.. a co-worker i haven't seen in a while... told me i look like im gaining weight, and that my skirt was unflattering. i hardly know the woman, yet she felt the need to tell me this,

I personally don't feel pretty, or attractive, but I keep trying to find things about myself that I do like... and I still keep hope that there is a man out there that will like me exactly the way I am.

I haven't seen your picture, but I am sure you are plenty pretty... and i don't think you are dumb at all. We just have to keep trying to stay positive when we feel this way... and hopefully others will see that coming from us...

*hugs to you*

 

[coricopat]

Where the hell does your brother go to school??!! That's definitely not what girls looked like when I went to school.

---

In fact, someone today.. a co-worker i haven't seen in a while... told me i look like im gaining weight, and that my skirt was unflattering. i hardly know the woman, yet she felt the need to tell me this,

I really wonder about people like that. I know some women are part of the "build yourself up by putting others down" self-esteem program, but that's not always the case. Does this happen frequently to guys as well, or is it mostly a girl thing?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I just wanted to say, if I were lesbian or a male, I wouldn't want any of those girls. A little too saline and tan for me.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@VanillaCreme: Yeah.. now that I take a good look at the picture... something about the blonde scares me.... I do not know what it is all I know is that look makes me think she is going to kill me

 

[VanillaCreme]

They just aren't that attractive to me. Not everyone likes the same thing, and not every guy likes girls that look like that. Luna, don't be so hard on yourself. Some people think they look good, some think they look awful.

 

[acommoner]

the person in your dreams is you, youre real you, the person you are.
Through life you have been holding yourself back to do good for others ultimatly pushing yourself back and tried to create a person you were not from childhood on.

The women you refer too are beautifull, but they are still women, if you look at one, it is still a person, if these are the women you wanna go for then do so. If at that point you do, dont make them something that is more then you, dont because we are all humans. With guys it works since guys always want to be the best and they will appreciate you more if you let them be better then you, hence the fact that you are used to restrain yourself from the real you.

In fact, dont go to a therapist, in the end you can only help yourself, they will try to show you but i think you already know whats wrong, youre trying to be a person you are not, we all have our needs, go for them, make it worth your while , reward yourself for being here on this world and do something you like to do. One step at a time. Beatifull or ugly doesnt matter to women, just be polite, dont smother them with compliments because they also want to have to chance to prove to you there more then just beautifull women, let them and they will let you to.

There are a million reasons you will give me for not being able to do that, but in truth you know its doable, just do it, and dont let your head hang down when something goes wrong, or choose this life and be unhappy forever.

If there are people who dont like you at the point that you did something that didnt fit into youre the nicest and sweetest guy i know, then good, then you finally stood up for yourself. Find a girl that likes you for the real you and not the person youre trying to be, dont blame yourself, youve lived for others long enough, time to live your own life, help yourself then help others

 

[MadMonkè]

did bother reading your whole post... cuz its not true.

i much prefer natural beauty... no artificial enhancements or preservatives.
im a real naturalist.

it takes a special type of person to pull off that look tho.

 

[Tiina63]

luna, I'm in the same boat... granted, I do not want to look like those girls in that picture, but I would like to feel pretty and wanted. In fact, someone today.. a co-worker i haven't seen in a while... told me i look like im gaining weight, and that my skirt was unflattering. i hardly know the woman, yet she felt the need to tell me this,

I personally don't feel pretty, or attractive, but I keep trying to find things about myself that I do like... and I still keep hope that there is a man out there that will like me exactly the way I am.

I haven't seen your picture, but I am sure you are plenty pretty... and i don't think you are dumb at all. We just have to keep trying to stay positive when we feel this way... and hopefully others will see that coming from us...

*hugs to you*

I am so sorry that you were the victim of someone else's nastiness. I don't understand why some people feel the need to make rude comments and to put others down. I always think that if you can't say something nice to someone, then keep quiet.

 

[Jack Tripper]

I would not date those girls.......just too fake.....and most likely shallow.

---

luna, I'm in the same boat... granted, I do not want to look like those girls in that picture, but I would like to feel pretty and wanted. In fact, someone today.. a co-worker i haven't seen in a while... told me i look like im gaining weight, and that my skirt was unflattering. i hardly know the woman, yet she felt the need to tell me this,

I personally don't feel pretty, or attractive, but I keep trying to find things about myself that I do like... and I still keep hope that there is a man out there that will like me exactly the way I am.

I haven't seen your picture, but I am sure you are plenty pretty... and i don't think you are dumb at all. We just have to keep trying to stay positive when we feel this way... and hopefully others will see that coming from us...

*hugs to you*

I am so sorry that you were the victim of someone else's nastiness. I don't understand why some people feel the need to make rude comments and to put others down. I always think that if you can't say something nice to someone, then keep quiet.

Makes them feel better about themselves I assume.

 

[In a lonely place]

 

[passage]

What I always find funny is what women think men find hot/sexy/whatever. Those girls IMO are not good looking at all. I wouldn't sleep with them if they paid me.

 

[In a lonely place]

I admit, yes, I personally am attracted by looks first; but then I look for other things in a woman. Having a good sense of humour, not taking themselves too seriously, being down to earth, having morals.. this is what i look for, I don't think I'm alone in this.
Having a positive outlook; this is very attractive to me. If a girl tries to present herself in a good light (ie. nice clothes, nice makeup etc) then this tells me that she values herself and therefore is worth getting to know.


p.s. I'm sorry that someone tried to pressure you, I would ditch this person, they obviously are not worth bothering with. You're worth much more than that.

 

[HappyYogi]

Luna listen to what the men here are saying. I believe them and so should you. You don't have to be "perfectly hot" to gain love. You just have to be "enough", that is all. Look at the people around you who are married. They found love even being not "hot" but cute and attractive enough.

I agree that natural beauty is hotter anyways. Don't let them make you feel less.