What are you thinking right now?

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So it’s a beautiful day, local public holiday, and I’ve got nothing to do or anyone to do it with. I mowed the lawn. It’s 1pm and I don’t know what to do. I could go for a ride, alone, the same old tracks, again. I could go sit and fish, alone, same old fishing spots, again. The flies are bad. Nothing seems promising or exciting. Is this just how it is from now on? Really? Who the F wants that? Even the book I am reading has become so uninteresting, which is disappointing as I was looking forward to it. It’s not what I thought it would be. Meh. Life isn’t what I thought it would be.
 
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Imagine my partner said he gets more out of our relationship than I do… hurt me to hear that, I never want to make him feel that way ever… maybe I have to work on gratitude and appreciation 💔💕✨
 
So it’s a beautiful day, local public holiday, and I’ve got nothing to do or anyone to do it with. I mowed the lawn. It’s 1pm and I don’t know what to do. I could go for a ride, alone, the same old tracks, again. I could go sit and fish, alone, same old fishing spots, again. The flies are bad. Nothing seems promising or exciting. Is this just how it is from now on? Really? Who the F wants that? Even the book I am reading has become so uninteresting, which is disappointing as I was looking forward to it. It’s not what I thought it would be. Meh. Life isn’t what I thought it would be.
This probably isn't much of a comfort, but you're not alone. I'm going through similar feelings lately. Stuck out in the middle of the country, soon to be unemployed, not sure what the hell I'm going to do, no friends, nowhere to go except walk along a fairly busy highway to nowhere, alone all day long with my thoughts. It's not a good place. Haven't even unpacked boxes in our new house and my usual hobbies hold little interest. We moved clear across the country for a new start and all I really want to do is go back home to my cute little house with the picket fence and all my flowers out front.

Can't even console myself with the legendary and beautiful fall colours here because the house we bought is in 'scrub-brush' kind of country/pine trees and there's no lovely oaks or maples to be had. At least the few birds are pretty.

Not every day is like this, mind you. Seems I can claw myself out of the dark hole (and I fight! Believe me. I do not want to be sitting here in this mindset) but it seems I keep getting dragged back in. Still, have to keep my head above water because the only other option is to drown. . . Hugs. Keep smiling and keep treading water. :)
 
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When I was younger, I thought things were going to get better and better. I thought science, technology, and modern, more compassionate thinking had delivered us out of the bad old days, and we were more free than ever to make our lives what we wanted them to be about, instead of survival and competition.

But all that's happened is, despite tech getting better than ever, the world is worse than it was before. Tech has done nothing to stop this. It really makes my head spin that this is "the future", but instead it's harder to live than it was before - like what the f***? WTF kind of "improvement", "advancement", "evolution" is that? It's like we've actually gone backwards. It's almost like, if they just left everything alone, we would have been better off. Honestly, lately I've been feeling sort of betrayed by technology, society, school, all of it. Tech isn't making things better, because all it's being used for is to wring even more profit out of everything, for the people that already own everything. It isn't being used to create a safer, happier, better world like I used to believe it was going to, when I was younger. They don't care about that at all, and it was never the goal.

And as for society, it's all lies. They demand unconditional respect and loyalty, yet don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. They're appointed to solve our problems, but don't actually care to, either because it doesn't affect them/not their problem, or they're actively profiting from NOT solving anything.

I've had a really hard time being optimistic lately, partially because of this. It's one of many things making me feel apathetic and "meh". I wish there was some way out of this malaise.
 
And as for society, it's all lies. They demand unconditional respect and loyalty, yet don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. They're appointed to solve our problems, but don't actually care to, either because it doesn't affect them/not their problem, or they're actively profiting from NOT solving anything.
The real threat to this world isn't terrorism or socialism,. The real threat is the fact that the greed of billionaires is out of control.
 
The real threat to this world isn't terrorism or socialism,. The real threat is the fact that the greed of billionaires is out of control.

I would say that the greed of billionaires, is aggravating those other issues.
It might not be the sole cause, but it's making those issues worse.
It's like, they don't want us to be socialist. So rather than allow people to have an abundance, like they used to, which caused people to feel like we don't need/want socialism, they just...make it harder for us to have what we had before, which only makes a case for socialism. It doesn't make sense. It's like they want us to see things their way, yet all they can do is show us why their way sucks.

I've been feeling more and more Earth is for STEM people and tradesmen only, math people only. Like if you're not a math person, then this world is not really for you. I feel like I'm not supposed to be here, like I showed up at the wrong address.

The problem is, there's nowhere for all of us non-math people to go. I wish there was.
 
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I've been feeling more and more Earth is for STEM people and tradesmen only, math people only. Like if you're not a math person, then this world is not really for you. I feel like I'm not supposed to be here, like I showed up at the wrong address.

The problem is, there's nowhere for all of us non-math people to go. I wish there was.
I'm ready to learn math if It helps, but I think, it wouldn't. I know a few physics/math/IT people. Lost and lonely.
 
What are you thinking right Now? This was the original topic of the thread.
I'm 75 years old and belong to a group called Widows & Widowers which meets every Thursday at my local Senior Center.
Funny thing is we never talk about anything to do with Widows or Widowers.
It is just a place to socialize with other like minded folks.
I moderate the group meetings every other week, and the topic I chose to talk about was movie or Films.
I have seen 3,215 movies thus far in my 75 years. Yes, I keep a spreadsheet listing them all.
Watching Movies (Films) are a form or escapism, as they bring out certain emotions that we typically keep suppressed.
We can hate the vilian, love the hero, they can make us laugh, or make us cry.
I know the members are going to ask, "Do You have a favorite movie (out of the 3, 215 films you have seen?)
I have seen many films a 2nd time, a 3rd time, a 4th time, but there is only one film I have seen six times!
Most folks will not recognize the title (The Other Sister) or recognize the female lead (Juliette Lewis) or the male lead (Giovani Ribissi).
But this is the one film that made me both Laugh, and cry multiple times.
 
I have seen many films a 2nd time, a 3rd time, a 4th time, but there is only one film I have seen six times!
Most folks will not recognize the title (The Other Sister) or recognize the female lead (Juliette Lewis) or the male lead (Giovani Ribissi).
But this is the one film that made me both Laugh, and cry multiple times.
Nice! I am glad you have a regular group to socialize with. I haven't seen this movie, but most definitely familiar with Juliette Lewis - I loved her in the movie "What's eating Gilbert Grape?" where she starred alongside Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio.
 
The closer it gets to his birthday the faster I feel myself slipping, I need Jesus so much, I need healing I need the mental anguish exterminated and I need to stop.
 
I used to drink up fandom lore like it was water - better yet, like it was juice.
No one had to FORCE me to learn about it, I read it because I had a natural thirst for it.
I wish there was a career that I enjoyed learning about, in the same way.
 
I'm ready to learn math if It helps, but I think, it wouldn't. I know a few physics/math/IT people. Lost and lonely.

I would if it would help, too. I think for me it might. I just don't know if I have the brain for it.
I get flustered when things get complex, when there are a lot of steps or a lot of moving parts.
I'm surprised about the physics/math/IT people being lost and lonely though.
Here, if you fit in to those groups, you're pretty much on your way. If you're an engineer here, it's like the world is your oyster.
 
Most folks will not recognize the title (The Other Sister) or recognize the female lead (Juliette Lewis) or the male lead (Giovani Ribissi).
But this is the one film that made me both Laugh, and cry multiple times.
Juliette Lewis is pretty well known in Europe

 
I would if it would help, too. I think for me it might. I just don't know if I have the brain for it.
I get flustered when things get complex, when there are a lot of steps or a lot of moving parts.
I'm surprised about the physics/math/IT people being lost and lonely though.
Here, if you fit in to those groups, you're pretty much on your way. If you're an engineer here, it's like the world is your oyster.
I think you have the brain for it, just go step by step. I thinkg everybody typical(without some mental illness influencing the intelligence) can do it on some level.
How do you think engineering will help you? Let's say you know math, how would it help to fit the world?
Knowing a bayes' theoreme doesn't give you an idea how to live in a real world. Maybe on the contrary, people can think, you are weird.

I'm a half IT, I can't find a good job, I spend 8h/day pressing the keys and hate it, but there is nothing else I can do. And it's not healthy sitting for so long. I can learn some math and go to the statistics, for example, but it won't change a lot my life.
I know at least other 2 IT persons who works and gets salary 2-3 times less than an average, not becuase they are stupid, they are not, but because they can't manage such the things(getting a new job, asking for better salary, etc). I know even more who can't find a relationship. Not only me, but some of them hate calling on phone(so yes, we mostly write)), afraid of talking to people in the streets, afraid of people. And maybe among IT people(maybe others from your list are the same) there are even more introverts than in general, because you don't need to interact with people a lot, that's why we've chosen it.

Once I was trying to build a simple math model of a friend, I downloaded my friends' and their friends'data from the social nets, and tried to do smth with it. I also tried to do the same with the penpals sites. It was a nice data, but what could I do with it? Trying to write to someone, smth like "look, you have a nice profile and it fits my model..."? It would be stupid and scarry, I didn't. So it didn't work out 😁
 
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UPR
Unconditional Positive Regard
Think it was Carl Rogers who coined it.
We need to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
 

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