What do I do with the rest of my life

[mickeyp]

Hi, I hope nobody minds a lonely OLD fool having a moan. I am a Brit, and when I say old I mean I will be 60 in a few weeks time.
Basically, I lost my wife of 20 years almost 4 years ago. VERY suddenly to cancer (30 days).
Natasha, our, now my daughter was only just turned 15 at the time.
The last 4 years have been devoted to looking after her and helping her in her education.
Somehow, she was accepted for Uni and now, 4 months into her Uni life, she is working hard and playing hard. Enjoying life.
Suddenly, after 20 years looking after a family and 4 years a daughter, I have no one.
I find it difficult even to look after myself.
Other problem. I am self-employed. I work alone. Some days the only conversation I have is with the local shop ckeck-out girl.
Where do I go from here?
Is there anybody who will even chat to me on this site? i have never tried that before.
Thanks for listening
Michael

 

[keeper]

Hi and welcome, Michael!
I think nobody but you can answer to the question "Where do I go from here?". Obviously nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow. i think one thing is for sure: everyone of us can find his/her own way to afford a lonely life or even to get rid of loneliness. The answer may be found less hardly if we talk to each other and try to give ideas, share experiences, thoughts etc.
I wish you good luck!

 

[joeynicdao]

Hi, I hope nobody minds a lonely OLD fool having a moan. I am a Brit, and when I say old I mean I will be 60 in a few weeks time.
Basically, I lost my wife of 20 years almost 4 years ago. VERY suddenly to cancer (30 days).
Natasha, our, now my daughter was only just turned 15 at the time.
The last 4 years have been devoted to looking after her and helping her in her education.
Somehow, she was accepted for Uni and now, 4 months into her Uni life, she is working hard and playing hard. Enjoying life.
Suddenly, after 20 years looking after a family and 4 years a daughter, I have no one.
I find it difficult even to look after myself.
Other problem. I am self-employed. I work alone. Some days the only conversation I have is with the local shop ckeck-out girl.
Where do I go from here?
Is there anybody who will even chat to me on this site? i have never tried that before.
Thanks for listening
Michael

I think you should try to look at the positives, you're blessed to have the opportunity to live such a long life. Some teen students here suddently get killed one day at school. You've had a wife of 20 years. Many of us live our whole lives without ever getting married let alone find our true love while others end up having to get divorced. You've raised a smart and now well educated daughter who got to meet and be raised by both her parents and was raised by them. Many other children grow up poor, abandoned, abused, or even worse, many get murdered before ever getting the chance to see what would have come of their lives while others that are still alive haven't gotten the chance to find their birth parents or to even discover that they are alive.

As for your job, if you are financially secure, maybe you could consider retirement so that you could well deservingly enjoy the precious time you have left and can hopefully go visit your daughter. As for finding friends, you're never too old to gain new friends and maybe you can join an activity group in your community to meet people and as for having people to talk to, you know at the very least that we're here for you.

 

[keeper]

Nice post, Joey!
Looking at the positives is a thing i too often forget. I thank you for this hint!

 

[Luna_luce]

MickeyP, have you considered getting in some local club or support group? I know I would do that if there was such thing where I live...

 

[mountaingirl]

 Hi Michael.   I am not sure I quite know what I am doing here, but I like to stay up late sometimes.  At times it is wonderful to have quiet time and then it can be a very lonely time.  I too am getting older, but have found one of the very best things I can do is just to wake up and think about what I can get into that day.  I still work part time, and seems as though life slowed down too fast.  Sometimes a good ole pity party shared with a friend can be very therapeutic.  Basicly, I just love life, and find it difficult because there is not always someone to share this beautiful world with. And, I just love to chat!

 

[realandtruelove]

Hi, I hope nobody minds a lonely OLD fool having a moan. I am a Brit, and when I say old I mean I will be 60 in a few weeks time.
Basically, I lost my wife of 20 years almost 4 years ago. VERY suddenly to cancer (30 days).
Natasha, our, now my daughter was only just turned 15 at the time.
The last 4 years have been devoted to looking after her and helping her in her education.
Somehow, she was accepted for Uni and now, 4 months into her Uni life, she is working hard and playing hard. Enjoying life.
Suddenly, after 20 years looking after a family and 4 years a daughter, I have no one.
I find it difficult even to look after myself.
Other problem. I am self-employed. I work alone. Some days the only conversation I have is with the local shop ckeck-out girl.
Where do I go from here?
Is there anybody who will even chat to me on this site? i have never tried that before.
Thanks for listening
Michael

Hi mickey, age should not be a conern, I met people of 66 and 70 enjoying their life, making sports, and having busy days in a way they never have time to think about loneliness, and I also met people of 25 to 30 years old and doing nothing, just doing noting. Thank you joey for your nice post, and also mentioning that everybody has to look at the positive points he has, I usually say it to myself and to others - find your points of strength.

 

[mickeyp]

Hi and thanks to those who have replied to my string.
yes, i am very grateful for everything life has given me so far and, yes, I know I ought to get out to meet people.
Trouble is, I am afraid of doing so. i live my little life and scuttle back to the safety of my home. Me and the dog. I feel in control and so feel safe.
On the one hand I would love to get to know someone else but part of me says "do you want some stranger into your life"
like I said, I have no confidence left. Having dealt with death of my wife and getting my daughter of on the road of life, I feel emotionally drained.
I know in my heart I need to start somewhere. Do you recon chatting on line with someone would help/ I have never done it before. Is there a chat site where I might find someone/
Michael