I'm not comfortable with the idea of dating aggressively (like computer dating etc) and I'm just wondering what other people think.
A while ago I went to see a counsellor (as part of a course) who advised me to approach strange guys IN THE STREET DURING THE DAY and ask them for a date. His idea was to help me get over nervousness about broaching the subject and talking to guys basically, but I'm still really uncomfortable with this idea. I don't even like the idea of computer dating and I've never done it, even though like I said earlier it's the only way I'll ever meet anybody. Firstly, I don't want to go on a date with a complete stranger. Is there something wrong with me with this? How do you know whether you're interested in somebody you don't even know? Secondly, I'm somebody who's never had much male interest, and I guess because of that I want to be sure that I get somebody who is interested in me, not somebody who just says yes because something has fallen in their lap. I was kind of the last girl to get asked to dance at school dances, and I don't want somebody who would have asked anyone but me given the choice!
The fact is that I know dating as a way of meeting people is just wrong for me, I couldn't handle the numbers of people that I'd have to go through. But it's bothering me a little bit because this counsellor was really irritated at me because of my passivity (he said you're talking crap, you could get a date this weekend etc, he's ignoring the fact that I've always had social problems and never yet been asked on a date). I'm remembering some harsh words.
Is it over the top to approach strangers in the street? Do people think a women initiating is likely to get a guy who's not so keen?
Furthermore I'm a bit intimidated about dating because I feel like it's a situation where you're under pressure, when you haven't had a chance to get to know someone the normal way. I'm more afraid of getting into a bad relationship than of being alone. And I know bad relationships exist because I experienced something like a domestic violence dynamic with an older brother.
Am I inhuman because I'm not driven to date?
A while ago I went to see a counsellor (as part of a course) who advised me to approach strange guys IN THE STREET DURING THE DAY and ask them for a date. His idea was to help me get over nervousness about broaching the subject and talking to guys basically, but I'm still really uncomfortable with this idea. I don't even like the idea of computer dating and I've never done it, even though like I said earlier it's the only way I'll ever meet anybody. Firstly, I don't want to go on a date with a complete stranger. Is there something wrong with me with this? How do you know whether you're interested in somebody you don't even know? Secondly, I'm somebody who's never had much male interest, and I guess because of that I want to be sure that I get somebody who is interested in me, not somebody who just says yes because something has fallen in their lap. I was kind of the last girl to get asked to dance at school dances, and I don't want somebody who would have asked anyone but me given the choice!
The fact is that I know dating as a way of meeting people is just wrong for me, I couldn't handle the numbers of people that I'd have to go through. But it's bothering me a little bit because this counsellor was really irritated at me because of my passivity (he said you're talking crap, you could get a date this weekend etc, he's ignoring the fact that I've always had social problems and never yet been asked on a date). I'm remembering some harsh words.
Is it over the top to approach strangers in the street? Do people think a women initiating is likely to get a guy who's not so keen?
Furthermore I'm a bit intimidated about dating because I feel like it's a situation where you're under pressure, when you haven't had a chance to get to know someone the normal way. I'm more afraid of getting into a bad relationship than of being alone. And I know bad relationships exist because I experienced something like a domestic violence dynamic with an older brother.
Am I inhuman because I'm not driven to date?