What I Did On My Trip to Forks

[God of Niebelheim]

Today, I toke a ten hour drive to Forks, Washington... It was boring as hell! Heres what I saw and did!

First stop was Damascus Oregon!

It is pronounced Dumb•Ass•Kiss

Nothing to do there. There was a little DQ and thats about it. Boring.

Next we drove through Boring Oregon!

Boringest town EVER! There is a lot of options to chose from in this town!

Theres the Boring Conveniant Store. With your choice of Boring crap

Boring Fire Department. If your house catches it self on fire from bored call them!

Enough with boring next was HumpTulips Washington... Yes the town was called hump tulips. If you dont know what that means... it is the equivilent to Bang Flowers.

No options here.

Next I had an adventure in the forest at a "rest Stop" because it wasnt a rest stop it was the side of the road! I went in the forrest to take a "you-know-what" and found a human skull. It was pretty weird.

Next we toke a stop in Queef Washington. I know you are asking "WTF why would they call it Queef?" Well i dont know they were probably high. On weed. Or happiness.

Finally we arrived in forks washington. It is all Twilight. Bella's truck from the movie is in a parking lot at the beginning of town. Next to our Inherited house that was filmed in Twilight Is a 3 Twilight FanShops, A Twilight Candyshop, and a Twilight nook store. We have to houses on our property. We foun that the other little house was vandlized and broke into. We walk in side armed to find a pitbull and an empty bed! We filed a report with the police and they came.

Just another average day for me!

 

[Lilac]

haha what great names some of these places have..I bet who ever named them were having a laugh. Sounds like an interesting trip you had!

 

[Brian]

Boring Fire Department. If your house catches it self on fire from bored call them!

Now I beg to differ, good sir, there is no such thing as a boring fire department.

I think if I were Mayor of Forks, I'd hunt down Stephenie Meyer and burn her as ritual sacrifice in the center of town for all to see. I can't stand that series.

Failing that, I'd just burn the whole town. Purge the disease, cleanse the dirt from the pores of our community! Salvation through fire! And then I'd be known everywhere as a really crazy mayor, and everyone would just move away. Oops.

Glad you ...enjoyed... your trip to the Northwest, though. I live over here in Smalltown, North Idaho. It's my kind of place, really I don't like cities. You'll have to come over here next time and we'll show ya a good time. Hiking, mountain biking, fishing, ice fishing, and plenty of good old fashioned hard work to be found. Usually.


Also mostly honest people.