what the hell is wrong with me

[SighX99]

what the fcuk is wrong with me? am I ugly? am I boring? do I lack proper social skills? why can other guys make girlfriends so easily?

maybe its the holidays but ive been feeling extremely extremely lonely. i need a relationship... bad. im so desparate that i cant act not desparate anymore... every second im thinking how i messed up on bunch of girls i wouldve had something with... i dont know. whenever im conversing with a girl my mind seems to stop thinking and stop talking... but when im with my guy friends i always have something interesting to talk about. what the fresia??

at my school i see guys making friends with girls all the time in my classes. i feel like such an outsider... even a kinda nerdy kid ended up talking to a super hot chick for a long time.... i barely talk to people in general.... but for some odd fuckin reason i cant make friends with them at all.
the worst is i dont know whats wrong. what i can do to improve. i just cant make friends, female friends especially....

i really dont have any friends anymore. let alone making girlfriends....
ive been crying for a few nights now since the new years... always so alone, so alone. i dont have any chances to talk to girls....

things are so bad... i cant even make steady friends on the internet... no one gives a fresia about me anywhere. im sick of being a shadow.......*crying.

at least writing this makes me feel a tad bit better.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm glad you feel better.

I felt the sameway at one piont in time of my life.
You remind me so much of myself when I was younger.
You're such a brillent young man with so much protential.
Hell, i even married a super model hoping somehow she
would fixed me or solved all my problems.
For a while she took my pains away but I went and messed all that honeysuckle up too.

There was this freaken thron in my side.
A fucken sickness that I didn't comprehend or understood.
It took what it took for me to get to the piont that some
call incomprehencible demoralization. When enough was enough.
I was so fucken sick and tired of being sick and tired.
No one but no one could make that decision for me.
However i didn't have to do it alone to get well.
They told me i had to do first things first...
It was the hardest thing I had to do...because i wouldn't corrolate my problems to it.
I couldn't make the connection...becuase i wasn't thinking fucken straight and feeling right
when I was messed up out of my fucken mind all the time. I was still functioning going to work
and going to school. Looking good on the outside and all messed up on the inside.
Even my ex-wife told me to knock the honeysuckle off or get help. But i couldn't accept it.
I still have regrets of not listening to her and losing her becuase i had to do what i had to get
to that piont.

Maybe it was grace that I'm still alive today...I don't know.

I pray everyday for you.

 

[somniloquy]

Sigh, I may be wrong but I think it is a cycle, this problem that you describe. The more desperate you feel the more stilted you will get in front of girls and the lesser chances you will have of befriending them, which in turn will make you even more desperate. So the next time you approach a girl you will be even more aware of yourself and even less natural.

The fact that you can talk just fine with guys is a proof enough that there is nothing wrong with you. If there is a problem anywhere, it is in how you see the problem. You will have to work on that. The harder you try the easier you will fail in this case. One can't force oneself to become a natural. It is only once you stop trying and thinking about how bad you are wont to do in a particular situation is when you can start being yourself, a person who can interact just fine with people.

Once you have started achieving that, you will start making acquaintances, which will lead to some of them turning into your friends and not before long even a girlfriend.

Now you should also note that overcoming this stiltedness is not just going to be a personal thing. Once you have been a certain way around people, they will reinforce that feeling within you, pushing you deeper and deeper into the abyss. What I will advise is to not be turned down when some girl behaves with you as if you are your old self and keep at it. With time you will turn things around. And keep us posted on your progress. Best of luck.

 

[SighX99]

THANKS, Lonesome Crow, your words of wisdom is always enlightening. please keep praying for me. however, sometime ago i prayed as well, nothing good ever come of it. I always wonder if God has anything to do with my shittyness in life. Ive cried out to God many times, and nothing descent ever happens...

im just so sick of this loneliness. ive become numb for too long....

and somniloquy, i will take that advice. i already know being my old self rule, but i fear sometimes "my old self' isnt interesting enough.

 

[SilentThinker]

For me,I just talked to them first.

Just talk normally and be yourself.(I am regarded as a nerd.)

 

[SilentThinker]

Just start talking to them.

How are you in your school?Quiet?

 

[SighX99]

Just start talking to them.

How are you in your school?Quiet?

yes, im usually pretty quiet. if a girl asks me a question, id answer it, then silence... i dont talk much. but once im comfortable with someone im talkative.

and it seems that girls dont usually show signs of interest toward me. i never get any sign at all, either that or im not looking or because asian guys never get much attention.

 

[VanillaCreme]

... or because asian guys never get much attention.

What? Are you another Chris_2?

Dude no.

Just no.

I want to know where this whole "Asian dudes never get any girls" came from? Wtf, did I miss something? Did I skip something?

 

[Punisher]

... or because asian guys never get much attention.

What? Are you another Chris_2?

Dude no.

Just no.

I want to know where this whole "Asian dudes never get any girls" came from? Wtf, did I miss something? Did I skip something?

Chris_3 ?

 

[VanillaCreme]

... or because asian guys never get much attention.

What? Are you another Chris_2?

Dude no.

Just no.

I want to know where this whole "Asian dudes never get any girls" came from? Wtf, did I miss something? Did I skip something?

Chris_3 ?

Heh

 

[Punisher]

... or because asian guys never get much attention.

What? Are you another Chris_2?

Dude no.

Just no.

I want to know where this whole "Asian dudes never get any girls" came from? Wtf, did I miss something? Did I skip something?

Chris_3 ?

Heh

Lol, nevermind.

 

[santosh]

hey SighX99 your are not only the one who are suffering from this loneliness feeling
i too find it very difficult to talk to girl
even at the age of 26 i dont have any girlfriend to talk
i just have onle one girlfriend to talk but recently she just kick me on back
may be because i am not goodlooking or not talkative.
it so frustating to live lonely
but any way i have to live
hope one day i will find her or may be not

 

[SighX99]

... or because asian guys never get much attention.

What? Are you another Chris_2?

Dude no.

Just no.

I want to know where this whole "Asian dudes never get any girls" came from? Wtf, did I miss something? Did I skip something?

I'm not chris 2, however, i did kind of get what he was saying about Asian guys. I'm sure he and I had the same kind of experience somehow... i dont know. I'm not as extreme as chris, in fact, i tried to help him by telling him hes not the only one who thinks like that. i tried to tell him that it was wrong to keep thinking about the asian thing, itll just keep the self-esteem low... but sometimes, i do get that feeling every now and then, because of my experience i guess, some unforgettable horrid honeysuckle that i went through, made me think that way sometimes.

i think experiences counts as everything, some people have similar experiences, but that doesnt mean we think all alike. i'm not the same as chris, but i somehow get what he was saying, and was trying to help him. hopefully you understand.

 

[Bluey]

SighX99, You don't come across like Chris at all. Don't get me wrong I think Chris is a cool guy. But I would had put both of you at different placers.

I hope your feeling better then you was in the new year.

 

[SighX99]

hello bluey, thanks for asking, i have been feeling a little bit better, but the shadow is still there, i still think about depressive things sometimes before i go to sleep. but its been ok.

i just havent been on this forum for a while now.

 

[Bluey]

hello bluey, thanks for asking, i have been feeling a little bit better, but the shadow is still there, i still think about depressive things sometimes before i go to sleep. but its been ok.

i just havent been on this forum for a while now.

Am glad to hear that your feeling a little better.

You should not feel guilty of thinking of depressive things. If it wasn't for us thinking of them things I doubt most of us here would had found this place.

I know I think of them things sometimes. I would not admit that to most ppl in my real life. But on here I try to be moor honest about how am feeling. If not on the main board then in PM. When I feel am not able to express those feelings I have no matter how depressing they are I would walk from here as there would be no reason for me to carry on coming here. This is the only place I get to express what I am feeling and what is bothering me.

And right at this minute in time I am really struggling to see any light in my life at all. This place is like the only distraction am getting from my own dark feelings right now.

 

[SighX99]

i cant get over the fact that some people are still so rude and ignorant on this forum. if you don't want to hear my problems, then dont read it or talk honeysuckle on it. this is a forum where we come and discuss our problems. say something constructive or intelligent instead, or dont say anything at all.

god this thread is really pissing me off just reading some peoples dumb fuckin response.