what women want..

[Limlim]

I think I preferred Stardust better. The lead goes out to fetch a star for a girl who demands he prove his love for her. He does so and finds the star is actually Claire Danes, and at one point in the movie while they are discussing what he is doing, she asks him what the girl is doing to prove her love to him in return. The guy then just sort of gets confused and can't come up with a reply.

The epic moment comes where he returns back to his village and tells her while sweeping her off her feet that she "needs to get over herself" then drops her on the ground like a sack of trash and leaves. I think in the end, even if there were no star girl waiting for him with open arms, that I would have liked him to go that route. Head held high and possessing self respect even if the road traveled to the end of his days was a solo one.

 

[Badjedidude]

Step aside little boys, there's a real man on board! 'Tis my betrothed! How are you love? I like your new avatar. Nice glow on your pole

Haha thanks! I'm doing fine. lol

That does bring up an interesting point. You could get in serious honeysuckle for continuing to go after a girl after she says no once. Do it at work and at minimum you'll have to take a workplace sexual harassment seminar and be lectured on how no means no.

It's all about how you do it. Courtship rituals have gone by the wayside (or have been supplanted), so there's no real modern framework for pursuing an "unwilling" woman and trying to persuade her to let you continue your advances. *shrug*

I think I preferred Stardust better. The lead goes out to fetch a star for a girl who demands he prove his love for her. He does so and finds the star is actually Claire Danes, and at one point in the movie while they are discussing what he is doing, she asks him what the girl is doing to prove her love to him in return. The guy then just sort of gets confused and can't come up with a reply.

The epic moment comes where he returns back to his village and tells her while sweeping her off her feet that she "needs to get over herself" then drops her on the ground like a sack of trash and leaves. I think in the end, even if there were no star girl waiting for him with open arms, that I would have liked him to go that route. Head held high and possessing self respect even if the road traveled to the end of his days was a solo one.

Yeah... I'm not so sure I'd want a girl that forced me to do some great deed just to "prove my love." As romantic as that sounds, it's just kinda stupid. I am what I am. Sure, I'll treat a girl nicely, but as her behavior warrants or when I feel like being nice; NOT AS A CONDITION OF LOVE.

 

[jales]

I loooooooved startdust. This is actually probably my favorite movie,I watch it all the time and anyone who I know who has not seen it.. I make them see it. I love it. That and Ever After.

But what was nice about stardust is not really that he held his head high. It was that

1.) Through finding love he was able to become confident, and ... like the movie said.. a man

2.) He was a really good person, compared to almost everyone else in the movie. The movie showed brothers trying to kill each other, witches trying to kill a star and in essence everyone in the movie had no morals and was completely ruthless. But Tristen (cant spell.. the main guy). He was not like that. He could have initially used the candle to just go home, but he thought about her wishes as well. Even when he didnt have to. Even though he barely knew her. And that means something good.

3.) She loved him, she loved him a lot..and he never had to doubt that.

4.)I just love fantasy, and I like that they became king and queen in the end. Brilliant feel good movie.

I think I preferred Stardust better. The lead goes out to fetch a star for a girl who demands he prove his love for her. He does so and finds the star is actually Claire Danes, and at one point in the movie while they are discussing what he is doing, she asks him what the girl is doing to prove her love to him in return. The guy then just sort of gets confused and can't come up with a reply.

The epic moment comes where he returns back to his village and tells her while sweeping her off her feet that she "needs to get over herself" then drops her on the ground like a sack of trash and leaves. I think in the end, even if there were no star girl waiting for him with open arms, that I would have liked him to go that route. Head held high and possessing self respect even if the road traveled to the end of his days was a solo one.

---

Also to add to this.. about stardust.

I think it was wayyyy better than the notebook.

But note that, just like in the notebook, the star gave her love completely to Tristan. They didnt show it well in the movie. But when the star thought that Tristan went back to Victoria, she went to try to cross the wall because she was going to give herself to Tristan so that he can present her and win Victoria's love. (Well that is how it was in the book).

Also the star was a very unwilling girl in the beginning. But Tristan did not really give up. Yes the circumstances were very different. But she told him a million times to leave her alone. But he didnt. He showed the very things that the notebook showed that women want.

He showed that he was a fighter. Unwilling to give up. He also showed that he was not afraid to tell her what he thought. It was mostly because he did not love her at this point. But he still showed it.

Do you see what I mean?

I mean he was really rude to her at certain points. Always talking about Victoria, telling her how she is annoying. Several things, but never so rude that she would hate or fear him. And that is important.

I think star dust showed the two important male characteristics for a love story as well.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The biggest mistakes Ive made in my life and I paid a heavy price or the consequence was immense.
Ill probably make it again as Im bascially doing the same honeysuckle now.

I PUT A WOMAN'S WANTS OVER MY NEEDS.

So...I compensate and GFTOW .lol
Dont u break my heart...my achy brreak heart...cuz I dont think It'll understand
Its all fresia up...but I aint givine up...

 

[Poueff]

I'm sorry. What does this mean?

That means that it's not by being maried or in a relationship that someone's advice/opinion should automaticly be worth more than one that isn't.

I'm sorry,I think I swaped your's and LadySphynx's name >.>

 

[tangerinedream]

That does bring up an interesting point. You could get in serious honeysuckle for continuing to go after a girl after she says no once. Do it at work and at minimum you'll have to take a workplace sexual harassment seminar and be lectured on how no means no.

It's all about how you do it. Courtship rituals have gone by the wayside (or have been supplanted), so there's no real modern framework for pursuing an "unwilling" woman and trying to persuade her to let you continue your advances. *shrug*

Unfortunately, some women do more damage to validating the concept of "No means NO" with this playing hard to get nonsense.

What, "No" only means NO when I want it to, and I'm not going to tell you until after the fact?

Ridiculous.

People (both genders now) need to give up stupid, archaic courtship rituals and relationship fairytales and just treat each other like human beings and be straight abut their wants. Not everyone out there is going to be a perfect match, but someone will be, and having to hack through layers of bullshit to get down to the real deal only wastes time and causes aggravation.

 

[Limlim]

I loooooooved startdust. This is actually probably my favorite movie,I watch it all the time and anyone who I know who has not seen it.. I make them see it. I love it. That and Ever After.

But what was nice about stardust is not really that he held his head high. It was that

1.) Through finding love he was able to become confident, and ... like the movie said.. a man

2.) He was a really good person, compared to almost everyone else in the movie. The movie showed brothers trying to kill each other, witches trying to kill a star and in essence everyone in the movie had no morals and was completely ruthless. But Tristen (cant spell.. the main guy). He was not like that. He could have initially used the candle to just go home, but he thought about her wishes as well. Even when he didnt have to. Even though he barely knew her. And that means something good.

3.) She loved him, she loved him a lot..and he never had to doubt that.

4.)I just love fantasy, and I like that they became king and queen in the end. Brilliant feel good movie.

I think I preferred Stardust better. The lead goes out to fetch a star for a girl who demands he prove his love for her. He does so and finds the star is actually Claire Danes, and at one point in the movie while they are discussing what he is doing, she asks him what the girl is doing to prove her love to him in return. The guy then just sort of gets confused and can't come up with a reply.

The epic moment comes where he returns back to his village and tells her while sweeping her off her feet that she "needs to get over herself" then drops her on the ground like a sack of trash and leaves. I think in the end, even if there were no star girl waiting for him with open arms, that I would have liked him to go that route. Head held high and possessing self respect even if the road traveled to the end of his days was a solo one.

---

Also to add to this.. about stardust.

I think it was wayyyy better than the notebook.

But note that, just like in the notebook, the star gave her love completely to Tristan. They didnt show it well in the movie. But when the star thought that Tristan went back to Victoria, she went to try to cross the wall because she was going to give herself to Tristan so that he can present her and win Victoria's love. (Well that is how it was in the book).

Also the star was a very unwilling girl in the beginning. But Tristan did not really give up. Yes the circumstances were very different. But she told him a million times to leave her alone. But he didnt. He showed the very things that the notebook showed that women want.

He showed that he was a fighter. Unwilling to give up. He also showed that he was not afraid to tell her what he thought. It was mostly because he did not love her at this point. But he still showed it.

Do you see what I mean?

I mean he was really rude to her at certain points. Always talking about Victoria, telling her how she is annoying. Several things, but never so rude that she would hate or fear him. And that is important.

I think star dust showed the two important male characteristics for a love story as well.

---

The context here is a little different though, in this instance his fighting for the star wasn't due to expressing an interest in her, but more so he could present her as a gift to someone else to prove his love. The interest in Evaine gradually grew later on as the story progressed. To me that's a huge difference.

Tristan "not giving up" had nothing to do with his feelings for the star, but that for the selfish woman he had to prove himself to back in his home town. He would likely have just has knocked Evaine over the head and brought her back over his shoulder if she persisted in refusing. Her feelings weren't even a consideration in this instance.

 

[blackwave]

I echo crow's sentiments. I let my ex have complete control over our relationship, and it was a mistake, because she took advantage of it and screwed me over.

As for what women want - more than you can possibly give them, in my limited experience. I once wrote a little note, "you could cut your heart out and give it to the woman you love on a plate, and she would say, "that's wonderful, but..."

 

[jales]

But 1.. he didnt knock her over, and that is part of why she fell in love with him

and 2.. A person does not need you to show 'not giving up' by chasing them, it can be shown by chasing a rabbit, or a job or anything... the point is

it seems women like to see it. Not necessary only in one way, and definitely not necessarily by chasing them. But it is important to see that a person does not give up when they want something. Especially when it comes to love and matters of the hear.

Tristan showed that, even though he was in love with another woman, he showed that he is willing to fight for love... and that was part of why the star liked Tristan as well.

(Only my thought)

I loooooooved startdust. This is actually probably my favorite movie,I watch it all the time and anyone who I know who has not seen it.. I make them see it. I love it. That and Ever After.

But what was nice about stardust is not really that he held his head high. It was that

1.) Through finding love he was able to become confident, and ... like the movie said.. a man

2.) He was a really good person, compared to almost everyone else in the movie. The movie showed brothers trying to kill each other, witches trying to kill a star and in essence everyone in the movie had no morals and was completely ruthless. But Tristen (cant spell.. the main guy). He was not like that. He could have initially used the candle to just go home, but he thought about her wishes as well. Even when he didnt have to. Even though he barely knew her. And that means something good.

3.) She loved him, she loved him a lot..and he never had to doubt that.

4.)I just love fantasy, and I like that they became king and queen in the end. Brilliant feel good movie.

I think I preferred Stardust better. The lead goes out to fetch a star for a girl who demands he prove his love for her. He does so and finds the star is actually Claire Danes, and at one point in the movie while they are discussing what he is doing, she asks him what the girl is doing to prove her love to him in return. The guy then just sort of gets confused and can't come up with a reply.

The epic moment comes where he returns back to his village and tells her while sweeping her off her feet that she "needs to get over herself" then drops her on the ground like a sack of trash and leaves. I think in the end, even if there were no star girl waiting for him with open arms, that I would have liked him to go that route. Head held high and possessing self respect even if the road traveled to the end of his days was a solo one.

---

Also to add to this.. about stardust.

I think it was wayyyy better than the notebook.

But note that, just like in the notebook, the star gave her love completely to Tristan. They didnt show it well in the movie. But when the star thought that Tristan went back to Victoria, she went to try to cross the wall because she was going to give herself to Tristan so that he can present her and win Victoria's love. (Well that is how it was in the book).

Also the star was a very unwilling girl in the beginning. But Tristan did not really give up. Yes the circumstances were very different. But she told him a million times to leave her alone. But he didnt. He showed the very things that the notebook showed that women want.

He showed that he was a fighter. Unwilling to give up. He also showed that he was not afraid to tell her what he thought. It was mostly because he did not love her at this point. But he still showed it.

Do you see what I mean?

I mean he was really rude to her at certain points. Always talking about Victoria, telling her how she is annoying. Several things, but never so rude that she would hate or fear him. And that is important.

I think star dust showed the two important male characteristics for a love story as well.

---

The context here is a little different though, in this instance his fighting for the star wasn't due to expressing an interest in her, but more so he could present her as a gift to someone else to prove his love. The interest in Evaine gradually grew later on as the story progressed. To me that's a huge difference.

Tristan "not giving up" had nothing to do with his feelings for the star, but that for the selfish woman he had to prove himself to back in his home town. He would likely have just has knocked Evaine over the head and brought her back over his shoulder if she persisted in refusing. Her feelings weren't even a consideration in this instance.

---

 

[VanillaCreme]

That does bring up an interesting point. You could get in serious honeysuckle for continuing to go after a girl after she says no once. Do it at work and at minimum you'll have to take a workplace sexual harassment seminar and be lectured on how no means no.

It's all about how you do it. Courtship rituals have gone by the wayside (or have been supplanted), so there's no real modern framework for pursuing an "unwilling" woman and trying to persuade her to let you continue your advances. *shrug*

Unfortunately, some women do more damage to validating the concept of "No means NO" with this playing hard to get nonsense.

What, "No" only means NO when I want it to, and I'm not going to tell you until after the fact?

Ridiculous.

People (both genders now) need to give up stupid, archaic courtship rituals and relationship fairytales and just treat each other like human beings and be straight abut their wants. Not everyone out there is going to be a perfect match, but someone will be, and having to hack through layers of bullshit to get down to the real deal only wastes time and causes aggravation.

You know, some dude who wants to keep talking to me claims I'm playing hard to get. I barely talk to him, I ignore him, and I don't know why he doesn't get it. I don't play hard to get. If I like someone, I tell them. Never will I be interested in him any time in the the future.

And what I can't believe more so, is the fact that guys can't seem to tell the difference. Be a little smarter than that, guys.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^That's because you're not PLAYING "hard to get," you ARE hard to get. lol

How about this, ladies... instead of complaining about SOME guys being dumb, why don't you be a little more assertive in saying "NO?" I've talked to sooooooooooo many women who complain about some guys stalking them...

...BUT THEY NEVER TELL THE GUY IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS TO fresia OFF OR THEY WILL CALL THE POLICE OR USE A BASEBALL BAT ON THEM

You can't be subtle with creepers like that. You can't just ignore them and hope they go away. You have to tell them directly, point-blank, that you are going to shoot them in the face if they don't leave you alone. Why do women always think they have to be so polite and nice to everyone, even at the risk of letting someone stalk them? lol

This isn't aimed at you, Nills. Your post just made me think of it.

 

[tangerinedream]

^^^That's because you're not PLAYING "hard to get," you ARE hard to get. lol

How about this, ladies... instead of complaining about SOME guys being dumb, why don't you be a little more assertive in saying "NO?" I've talked to sooooooooooo many women who complain about some guys stalking them...

...BUT THEY NEVER TELL THE GUY IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS TO fresia OFF OR THEY WILL CALL THE POLICE OR USE A BASEBALL BAT ON THEM

You can't be subtle with creepers like that. You can't just ignore them and hope they go away. You have to tell them directly, point-blank, that you are going to shoot them in the face if they don't leave you alone. Why do women always think they have to be so polite and nice to everyone, even at the risk of letting someone stalk them? lol

LOL Trust me, BJD I am not a subtle creature.

I can say no, and say it forcefully.

Some guys hear "No," any "No" and think "She wants me to persuade her."

 

[SofiasMami]

How about this, ladies... instead of complaining about SOME guys being dumb, why don't you be a little more assertive in saying "NO?" I've talked to sooooooooooo many women who complain about some guys stalking them...

...BUT THEY NEVER TELL THE GUY IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS TO fresia OFF OR THEY WILL CALL THE POLICE OR USE A BASEBALL BAT ON THEM

You can't be subtle with creepers like that. You can't just ignore them and hope they go away. You have to tell them directly, point-blank, that you are going to shoot them in the face if they don't leave you alone. Why do women always think they have to be so polite and nice to everyone, even at the risk of letting someone stalk them? lol

This isn't aimed at you, Nills. Your post just made me think of it.

Haha - This made me think of something a friend told me today. She's from eastern Europe and same age as me (late 30s) and happily married with 2 kids. Some guy she knew in high school who still lives in her hometown has been stalking her for probably a year, she told him to fresia off and blocked him on facebook and her email. Today he got a new gmail account and emailed her at work. She arranged today to have a friend (back in eastern Europe) spray paint "fresia OFF" on his apartment door. I told her I hope this works - lol

Teresa

 

[VanillaCreme]

^^^That's because you're not PLAYING "hard to get," you ARE hard to get. lol

How about this, ladies... instead of complaining about SOME guys being dumb, why don't you be a little more assertive in saying "NO?" I've talked to sooooooooooo many women who complain about some guys stalking them...

I'm not hard to get at all. I just don't lay around with every other guy. And, as for your "no" theory... When guys care to listen, then they'll hear that some of us DO say no. Do they hear that? No. They hear, "I'm going to play hard to get with you."

But oh, if we say no, then we're the bitches, right? If you don't get what you want out of us, then WE'RE the bad people. We're the uptight ones. We're the ones who never want to have fun or give people chances.

Point is, if guys listened, this problem wouldn't be as grand as it is.

 

[Badjedidude]

@tangerinedream
@SofiasMami
@VanillaCreme

Mostly I'm just tired of women I know coming up to me and asking how to get a guy to leave them alone. I keep telling them, use a baseball bat. Hit him. Spray him with mace. Call the police. Throw honeysuckle at him. Do all of these things repeatedly and he'll get the message.

But they never do any of it, because they're worried they'll look mean or like a *****. I tell them, "YES you have to be a ***** to get them to leave you alone, who cares what they think?"

But these women STILL just cannot be mean to save their own skins.

Just annoys me a bit.

I don't even give advice about that to them now, I just tell those women to leave me out of it.

Maybe I know the wrong women.

 

[jales]

@ VanillaCreme

Honestly I have NEVER been a ***** to any guy, and I have almost never had a problem with stalking.

If I dont want a guy like you say.. I always simply said: I am in a relationship with another man. If he says, well we can still be friends, still talk just as friends. I say, my boyfriend is the jealous type and I do not want to disrespect him so I can not be your friend.

If he continues to pursue me I repeatedly say: I have a man, who I love and I can not be friends with you. Our relationship would upset my man, and he does things to please me, so it is only fair that I obey his wishes concerning things like this.

And last but not least, if he still keeps trying change your phone number and make sure the guy does not get the new number (I have done this three times, to get rid of men who keep calling).

But honestly just tell them you have a man enough times and they will eventually respect you. They may still ask you out or for your number, but it will become something more of a joke than an honest pick up. Also they will genuinely respect you for, not talking to other men who like you while being in a 'relationship'.

Unless you are christian or religious and dont want to lie, this almost always works, and the guys are never upset with you or thinking that you are a ***** at the end of it all. Also if they say that they never see you with your man, say it is a little long distance and that you all visit each other often.

And anything more they say... just say. I dont want to screw up this relationship, I love the guy and he asked me not to make friends with guys, especially with guys that hit on me. Males respect it trust me.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If you tell someone no, you shouldn't have to repeat yourself, or beat them, or mace them. Those are ridiculous ideas when someone should just be an adult and just accept no for an answer. A lot of guys, and girls, don't get the message. It's easier said than done when someone just won't leave you alone. If it were that simple, stalkers wouldn't be around. If you can't accept no for an answer, and you keep on pestering someone, you might have a mental issue.

Also, as far as having male friends, I have a lot of them. And if I were in a relationship, and he didn't like that I have male friends, he'd have to find someone who didn't have male friends. No one else should determine my friendships but me.

 

[Joseph]

It's the nature of the game.

Men are pursuers.
Women are pursued.

That means they get to be selective. Part of that is selecting a man who understand "communication".

Not just verbal communication, but also body language, voice intonation, eye contact. There are reasons that women instinctively throw out tests or what some men may "perceive" as mixed signals.

In all actuality, these are not mixed signals, if the man knows how to communicate well and really truly watch what the woman is saying, all the answers are right there.

That is why NO sometimes mens YES, and other times it actually does mean NO.

It's not because the women are dishonest, it's because they are communicating emotionally, physically, and verbally. The whole thing combined.

 

[blackwave]

I wish I were gay, to be frank. I know significantly more gay / bi men that care about me than women.

 

[Mr. Sir]

That does bring up an interesting point. You could get in serious honeysuckle for continuing to go after a girl after she says no once. Do it at work and at minimum you'll have to take a workplace sexual harassment seminar and be lectured on how no means no.

If you ask a girl out at work ONCE, you'll get an immediate sexual harassment charge.