T
TheLonelySkeptic
Guest
Eternal flame said:crescendo.daNiente said:In that sense, boys don't just "turn off" to a woman that they love, or at least I don't. When he comes home from work, how do you treat him? Do you have the compulsion to complain as soon as he steps foot in the house? Do you nag about things any objective person would find minuscule? Or do you wrap your arms around him and thank him for hauling his ass out of bed every day and going to work?
But from what I've read, all you do is expect to receive, but what have you done to give? Boys don't just need to be turned on sexually, we need to be turned on EMOTIONALLY too!
Well one thing I've learned is it's hard to judge someone through ink. Am I one who talks about what is bothering me. Yes, sorry I wasn't raised in the stone age where it was acceptable for women to be seen and not heard. Quite the contrary of what you think. As mentioned,,again..I JUST recently stopped working. So the only thing different is I don't work. I still do everything else I was doing then now...Again the only change is I'm not leaving my home to punch a clock. I still wash the clothes, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the dogs, fold the clothes, mow the lawn (yes, I mow the lawn) even when I was working ( I was the one mowing the lawn) I fix the things in the house when they break.. and if I can't fix them I call someone in who can. I handle the phone calls whether it be to our utility companies or making appts. So how am asking for a little undivided attention nagging? Seriously.... I get his clothes ready for him for work every night and even bring him his towel.
When he arrives in the a.m. from work I kiss him, tell him I made coffee, ask would you like some..and what would you like to have for breakfast. I by no means am a slacker. If I happen to be asleep at night or know that I'm tired I make sure he has all the items he needs to get ready to leave for work..his glasses...which he constantly looses...his badge to get in the door at work..(he looses that all the time too)..and his keys.. I also leave him notes stating how he is appreciated for all he does..and all he does is work..again..my million dollar duties still remain...except I am not bringing in my 900 dollar paychecks anymore. I am constantly giving.. this is why I am hurt so much about him giving back. He only does one thing and that is work. Everything else I do. Again, before I stopped working and now that I'm not. Have I been guilty of flying off at the handle and getting upset. You're **** skippy I have. Why? Well honeysuckle, glad you asked....I'm ******* hurt. So please...excuse the fact that I forgot to sound sensitive during my posting...
He has said that he has a problem conversing with anyone. That even knowing he has to his face turns red and he can feel it as its about to happen and when it's in full bloom. He's not outgoing and again quite the contrary...I am. He hates that about me and loves it at the same time. He told me the other day that I'm everything he's not. He tells me over and over that he will do whatever is necessary to keep me because he knows he procrastinates everything...but it only lasts for a day or two and back to reality....There was so much more involved when I posted this post. When you are looking for people to talk with and have a bit of stress taken off, you try to narrow it down.
The job he has he was fired from also. He's now been with them for three years. But in the beginning when he first started they fired him for stuff he did when he was just a teen. I told him that it was unacceptable for them to pass judgment on him for what he did in his past. So, I wrote a letter to the owner of the company explaining the mistake they made and gave an outline of his many accomplishments since that unfortunate time in his life. They hired him back... So yea my friend..I'm a woman who is in her mans corner. Working against him is only me working against myself. I may not have the answers right now...but that doesn't make me stupid...
I guess if you heard me talk and my accent you would really think I was a *****. Most people do until they get to know me. I say that because I have a very thick New York accent.. and that is not embraced well in the south.. In New York no prob...everyone sounds the same..so I guess at times when I write...I sound the same.. Hope that clears up a few things for you.
It's more than just the video games here...it's about him being there period.
There's no need to get upset; I merely asked you questions, I didn't accuse you of anything. By your description of your boyfriend, I said before, he sounds a lot like your typical case of clinical depression. Is he on medication? Has he seen a psychiatrist (NOT a psychologist -- those guys are jokes) recently? If not, perhaps it's time he go to one. And perhaps you and he should both see a relationship councilor, if you can afford it.
From your description, your boyfriend shows a few tell-tale signs of a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with borderline personalities have trouble expressing their feelings through voice or text, and this can often be misconstrued as apathy or outright resentment. It's not. I think you should consider all the options, here, is what I'm suggesting. You sound like a very strong and determined woman. That's good. But there may be some serious underlying psychological issues here that go deeper than just "laziness." I suggest you consult a professional, talking to a ****** bag like me can only do so much over the internet.
P.S. I'm not entirely sure how implying your lack of a job makes me out to be a guy who believes a woman should be "seen and not heard." I'm not a chauvinist. But there is a particular way that men respond to women: most men enjoy knowing that their women think them the greatest thing in the world.
