What's wrong with me...?

[baylee_lynn]

I've had this friend for awhile now...we'll call her Shelby since I don't wanna use any real names. Anyway, this is really weird for me to talk about since I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm not myself around her. I don't really know how to explain it but I get really nervous and awkward around her (not to mention the fact that I already consider myself an awkward person) and I'm not sure why. And I find myself thinking about her A LOT (not in a creepy way!) and wishing I could be around her...we used to be a lot closer, but lately we've kind of drifted apart and don't talk as much because she's always busy and has a ton of other friends. I'm really confused and don't understand why I act so weird around her...she's not indimating or anything, she's actually really nice and one of my best friends from school. This is the only girl friend I've felt this way around before, it's really weird...I feel like I'm obsessed with her. I've only told one person this feeling I've been having and they said it might just be a small 'girl crush' but I'm straight and I don't think it's that. What's wrong with me and how do I talk to Shelby without acting like a complete idoit?? :/ I just want us to be friends again without feeling so weird around her...it's been several months I've been feeling like this and it keeps getting worse. If I see her somewhere at school or something, I freak out and can't face her...I feel like a creeper or like I'm attracted to her, but I'm not. Maybe I'm just ashamed of how I'm feeling...I'm just...so confused. It's like I want us to be close friends again, but not until this awkward feeling goes away.

 

[HermesReborn]

Well if you're attracted to her than maybe you have bisexual impulses.
Who knows.
I do know that it's pretty common for girls to find one another attractive.
Outside of the possible sexual feelings. You might just Idealize her.
I think you need to examine what exactly you like about this girl, and once you investigate that.
figure out whether these are friend feelings, or more then friend feelings.
Don't go crazy if it happens to be more than friend feelings.
I myself had those towards the same sex (guys) when I was younger.
I think it was curiosity and I grew out of it. (was totally grossed out by male genitalia)
It could be a phase. Or it could be not.

Who knows there's nothing wrong with you though.
Just feel your feelings and go with the flow.

 

[I'm Fine]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. As your friend has already suggested, it could be a small 'girl crush' - it can happen when you find someone that you want to emulate and can often feel weird (and be mistaken for more). It could be that you simply miss spending time with them - you mentioned that you've drifted apart. Or it could be something else.

As HermesReborn has already said, you need to give yourself a chance to really think about what you like about her and why and then, hopefully, you'll feel less awkward about the situation. But no, there's nothing wrong with you as far as I can tell.

Good luck.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

So, if she's your friend and you don't want to lose her, calm down, and "ignore" it. Ok, maybe your emotions are going a little crazy at the moment, but you don't want to lose a friend. Continue to spend time with her, be normal, and stop flipping out, because that's all you're doing. If you let it brew up in your head that you like her and that you have to avoid her, you're going to upset her, and lose her. I doubt that's what you want. Hide it, let it pass, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, and move on. Otherwise, you'll have to find another way to deal with it. But letting it erupt in drama is probably not what you want, unless you like drama, but then I wont reply when you post again that she's not your friend anymore because you messed up acting like a silly tweak for no reason.

There was another person that posted saying they thought they were having strange feelings for the same gender in general, and they told a friend about it. This lead to that person losing their friends because it creeped them out, and they were boys... Just keep this kinda stuff inside until it passes, or maybe it wont pass and you'll figure out your true sexual preference, whatever. It's really not worth tweaking out about something that could just be hormones, confused emotions, jealousy or envy.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Hmm please do let us know what you find out about yourself when you figure out what's going on. Maybe you just care a lot about what she thinks and you've developed a sort of social anxiety towards her?

 

[Enchanted Girl]

An easy way to figure out if you have a girl crush or not is to ask yourself . . . . Do you ever imagine kissing her and/or touching her in any way? If you picture it right now, does the idea sound pleasurable to you or not your kind of thing? I think it's a girl crush only if you actually want to be physically intimate with her in some way and not if you have no desire to.

Regardless, don't worry about it or worry about labeling yourself. Sexuality isn't as cut and dry as people make it out to be. You CAN be a heterosexual woman and be attracted to this one girl as a special case. Rarely are people 100% homosexual or 100% heterosexual. They often lean in one direction or the other, but a little experimentation or thought into something else doesn't mean anything really.

If it's not sexual then you might just desire to be very emotionally connected with her. You can be deeply emotionally connected with someone without wanting to sleep with them. And desire to impress people without any sexual motivation for it.

And also remember this . . .

If she's really as awesome as you think she is, then you can act like yourself and she'll accept you and care for you the way you are. If she can't do that, then she's not awesome. Regardless of whether you're attracted to her or not. So keep that in mind and try to be yourself, so you can see if she really deserves this pedastool you put her on or not.

 

[HermesReborn]

So, if she's your friend and you don't want to lose her, calm down, and "ignore" it. Ok, maybe your emotions are going a little crazy at the moment, but you don't want to lose a friend. Continue to spend time with her, be normal, and stop flipping out, because that's all you're doing. If you let it brew up in your head that you like her and that you have to avoid her, you're going to upset her, and lose her. I doubt that's what you want. Hide it, let it pass, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, and move on. Otherwise, you'll have to find another way to deal with it. But letting it erupt in drama is probably not what you want, unless you like drama, but then I wont reply when you post again that she's not your friend anymore because you messed up acting like a silly tweak for no reason.

There was another person that posted saying they thought they were having strange feelings for the same gender in general, and they told a friend about it. This lead to that person losing their friends because it creeped them out, and they were boys... Just keep this kinda stuff inside until it passes, or maybe it wont pass and you'll figure out your true sexual preference, whatever. It's really not worth tweaking out about something that could just be hormones, confused emotions, jealousy or envy.

Dude...
No offense...
But that's horrible advice.
She'll get nowhere suppressing her feelings.
And a friend who'd leave a friendship because of another friends awkward feelings, was never a friend to begin with.

I have homosexual friends who I know have a crush on me. And I respect that, and they respect my feelings that i'm not gay.

calling her a tweak?
dude...
not cool

 

[baylee_lynn]

It's not a crush. I've had time to sort through my feelings and I even talked to her about how I feel we've drifted apart and I miss us being close...I think the reason I'm having these weird feelings is because I wasn't used to the closenese with a friend like that. I haven't had many close friends throughout my life because of shyness and self-esteem issues. But anyways, I'm for sure not attracted to her like that, but it does seem like it a bit because of how obsessed I seem with her. idk, I know it sounds weird but I just really miss our friendship a lot and wish we were still close. Why I feel nervous and weird around her? That I don't really know...:/ But thanks for helping me through this, guys.

And SkuzzieMuff, wow really? I'm not stupid, of course I didn't tell her that. I did talk about how I feel we've drifted apart, but nothing about being attracted to her...because I don't think I am. Even though it kind of seems that way...because I don't want her in that way.