sorandom5454
Active member
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2012
- Messages
- 25
- Reaction score
- 0
I just came to think of something now during the holidays and that is how almost no one has ever done anything special for me. While I had friends and short romances in the past, I've always felt like... I'm just another person in the crowd. Like that no matter how close I've felt to people, I never really felt like I actually meant that much to them or that they would be willing to do that little extra for me. Or in some cases, I even felt like I can't depend on them whatsoever.
Now, I don't expect so much from other people. And I'm not saying I bent over backwards at all times to be there for others. But just a few things I've done for people over the years from the top of my head:
*Helped a lot with things I can help out with. For instance I'm good with IT and computers and I lost track of all the times I helped people around me with it.
*Given really thoughtful and suiting gifts (sometimes also more expensive than I could actually afford) while usually recieving something stereotypical and cheap.
*Planned some rather special events/days for a few people, once for a birthday and some other times to cheer someone important to me up.
*Done some very personal things like once writing a girl a song (I'm an amateur musician and knew she wanted it), also done some other things like custom software for friends who needed it.
*Tried my best to be supportive when people around me has been down and spent a great deal of time listening and talking in situations where I know I would have appreciated if someone had done it for me.
But as I start to think about what I gotten back from people, it's actually very little... I never really felt like people have been able to or even wanting to help me back so usually I have just done everything on my own. And as for special occassions, those times you really feel like someone put in their best for you, I can't think of any actually. :/
I don't really know if it's me or if it's the people around me that is the issue here so I want to hear about others experiences, how you treat people you consider close and what you get back.
Is it wrong of me to feel like one could expect a bit more from people who are supposedly close to you? Am I asking for too much here? Or do you think it could be a problem on my behalf. I don't really know how I come off to others, maybe sometimes they haven't even realized I need them cause I'm good at seeming like I do fine and also I can be too proud to ask for help when I need it sometimes. Me on the other hand is very good at noticing subtile things with other people but perhaps not everyone is so talented at it and therefore I need to be more clear about what I want or need?
But still, there are certain things you can't just ask for. Or having to ask for them instead of other people being willing to do them for you just ruins the whole purpose with it.
Now, I don't expect so much from other people. And I'm not saying I bent over backwards at all times to be there for others. But just a few things I've done for people over the years from the top of my head:
*Helped a lot with things I can help out with. For instance I'm good with IT and computers and I lost track of all the times I helped people around me with it.
*Given really thoughtful and suiting gifts (sometimes also more expensive than I could actually afford) while usually recieving something stereotypical and cheap.
*Planned some rather special events/days for a few people, once for a birthday and some other times to cheer someone important to me up.
*Done some very personal things like once writing a girl a song (I'm an amateur musician and knew she wanted it), also done some other things like custom software for friends who needed it.
*Tried my best to be supportive when people around me has been down and spent a great deal of time listening and talking in situations where I know I would have appreciated if someone had done it for me.
But as I start to think about what I gotten back from people, it's actually very little... I never really felt like people have been able to or even wanting to help me back so usually I have just done everything on my own. And as for special occassions, those times you really feel like someone put in their best for you, I can't think of any actually. :/
I don't really know if it's me or if it's the people around me that is the issue here so I want to hear about others experiences, how you treat people you consider close and what you get back.
Is it wrong of me to feel like one could expect a bit more from people who are supposedly close to you? Am I asking for too much here? Or do you think it could be a problem on my behalf. I don't really know how I come off to others, maybe sometimes they haven't even realized I need them cause I'm good at seeming like I do fine and also I can be too proud to ask for help when I need it sometimes. Me on the other hand is very good at noticing subtile things with other people but perhaps not everyone is so talented at it and therefore I need to be more clear about what I want or need?
But still, there are certain things you can't just ask for. Or having to ask for them instead of other people being willing to do them for you just ruins the whole purpose with it.