So yeah. After going out in public (just to the store...) I didn't feel as down as I was when I found this place. I googled "help I'm 20 and have never had a girlfriend" a few hours ago.
There's a big thread that I read that kinda helped. A "glad to know I'm not alone" type of feeling. But I read on, and a few other random threads and decided, "hey, there's some nice people here. maybe I should join and say hi"
So... hi?
I'm gonna type up a story and if a mod maybe wants to move it the loneliness section or something, that'd be cool by me.
Anyways...
I'm the socially unacceptable fat kid everyone knew in school. The one who kept to himself or a few others, and when the wrong thing was said to him, he threw something like a chair or a trashcan. Temper runs in my family, but I'm a lot more calm now. Now it's just my family that irritates me, but that's not why I'm here lol.
I've moved out of town twice in my life. Once during school, and once now that I'm out. The first time, I kinda ruined because I didn't want to be there. My mom kinda moved me from my grandma's without my real consent. I thought I was staying with her for the summer. Anyways, I kinda ruined my ability to be socially acceptable again simply because of this. I was young, and blinded by the hate of being at that school. I had friends, and there was a girl I like, so I didn't want to start over. I didn't know how. So to these kids, I came off as the freaky new kid who should probably be left alone. I got to know a few people, but it took the whole school year before I had any friends.
I finally went and talked to the neighbor kid while he was riding around on his bike at the school. He liked Dragonball Z and video games, I liked Dragonball Z and video games. It worked out lol. But since then, I haven't really talked to anyone else. It's a tiny town, and any more friends I made were through the first one.
Years went on, not many friends, never any courage to tell a girl I liked her, and never any sign of a girl liking me. I was still socially awkward for my freshmen year of highschool. Still had a temper, still kept to myself save for a few friends. Well, due to the new principal who was going to fail me because of missing days due to illness and surgery, I decided I had to go to the only other high school in town. With maybe, MAYBE, a dozen students. Some of them were people I already knew, and actually had been kicked out of the main highschool.
I actually had two friends there already, and two I made from the two. The only problem was, everyone there was and still is a druggie. That's just not me. I don't get it. Even cigarettes and alcohol I don't get. It was pure irony too, because my image at the time completely fit that of a stoner. (Long hair, plain clothes, kinda expressionless look from years of not giving a honeysuckle lol)
The school actually closed down, and now I have to finish high school online which is really a hassle, being 20 and all... Anyways, now I'm down to 2 friends. One has a family and is too busy with work and kids, and the other is moving away. I moved to a bigger (but still fairly small) town, my 2 friends are in the old town (one soon in another state), and I have no friends and have no idea how to make any now that I'm not in school... even though... I am lol.
I'm not particularly outgoing in the sense people connect with. I'm the kind of outgoing that will build up over time (kinda like that temper) and I'll probably be really obnoxious in the process of being out going. I play guitar, and played in band and that was like my outlet hour. I'd never stop playing like in between songs, I'd just turn the volume off. And band is usually the "fun class" and then my other classes I'd be blank and lunch etc I'd be blank.
I'd like to make friends, but don't know where to start. I'd like to meet a girl, but that's twice as hard and twice of an inconvenience at this point.
I have to say, for 20 years old I am the worst catch you could possibly find. Never had a gf before, so I know I'd be an ******* when I wouldn't mean to be. I have no job, I'm still in school, I live with three other relatives, and live in the tiniest house possible and we have little to no income. I'm actually taking care of my Great Grandmother who lives with us right now (my grandma leaves a lot and then I'm in charge). I feel like I have no time for people, yet want to meet people really badly. I'm also an oxymoron about it, because of the way I grew up, I feel like generally most people I see are all **** blithering idiots.
But I'm trying. I'm not sure if making a big post on a forum is a start, but... hell it counts for something right?
If anyone wants to be cool and help me out, that would be amazing. I can put more info if it's needed and whatnot. I can see it'd be hard to keep track of what I just wrote lol. But I gotta go at the moment. But I'll be back, because I'd like to talk to all you people here.
There's a big thread that I read that kinda helped. A "glad to know I'm not alone" type of feeling. But I read on, and a few other random threads and decided, "hey, there's some nice people here. maybe I should join and say hi"
So... hi?
I'm gonna type up a story and if a mod maybe wants to move it the loneliness section or something, that'd be cool by me.
Anyways...
I'm the socially unacceptable fat kid everyone knew in school. The one who kept to himself or a few others, and when the wrong thing was said to him, he threw something like a chair or a trashcan. Temper runs in my family, but I'm a lot more calm now. Now it's just my family that irritates me, but that's not why I'm here lol.
I've moved out of town twice in my life. Once during school, and once now that I'm out. The first time, I kinda ruined because I didn't want to be there. My mom kinda moved me from my grandma's without my real consent. I thought I was staying with her for the summer. Anyways, I kinda ruined my ability to be socially acceptable again simply because of this. I was young, and blinded by the hate of being at that school. I had friends, and there was a girl I like, so I didn't want to start over. I didn't know how. So to these kids, I came off as the freaky new kid who should probably be left alone. I got to know a few people, but it took the whole school year before I had any friends.
I finally went and talked to the neighbor kid while he was riding around on his bike at the school. He liked Dragonball Z and video games, I liked Dragonball Z and video games. It worked out lol. But since then, I haven't really talked to anyone else. It's a tiny town, and any more friends I made were through the first one.
Years went on, not many friends, never any courage to tell a girl I liked her, and never any sign of a girl liking me. I was still socially awkward for my freshmen year of highschool. Still had a temper, still kept to myself save for a few friends. Well, due to the new principal who was going to fail me because of missing days due to illness and surgery, I decided I had to go to the only other high school in town. With maybe, MAYBE, a dozen students. Some of them were people I already knew, and actually had been kicked out of the main highschool.
I actually had two friends there already, and two I made from the two. The only problem was, everyone there was and still is a druggie. That's just not me. I don't get it. Even cigarettes and alcohol I don't get. It was pure irony too, because my image at the time completely fit that of a stoner. (Long hair, plain clothes, kinda expressionless look from years of not giving a honeysuckle lol)
The school actually closed down, and now I have to finish high school online which is really a hassle, being 20 and all... Anyways, now I'm down to 2 friends. One has a family and is too busy with work and kids, and the other is moving away. I moved to a bigger (but still fairly small) town, my 2 friends are in the old town (one soon in another state), and I have no friends and have no idea how to make any now that I'm not in school... even though... I am lol.
I'm not particularly outgoing in the sense people connect with. I'm the kind of outgoing that will build up over time (kinda like that temper) and I'll probably be really obnoxious in the process of being out going. I play guitar, and played in band and that was like my outlet hour. I'd never stop playing like in between songs, I'd just turn the volume off. And band is usually the "fun class" and then my other classes I'd be blank and lunch etc I'd be blank.
I'd like to make friends, but don't know where to start. I'd like to meet a girl, but that's twice as hard and twice of an inconvenience at this point.
I have to say, for 20 years old I am the worst catch you could possibly find. Never had a gf before, so I know I'd be an ******* when I wouldn't mean to be. I have no job, I'm still in school, I live with three other relatives, and live in the tiniest house possible and we have little to no income. I'm actually taking care of my Great Grandmother who lives with us right now (my grandma leaves a lot and then I'm in charge). I feel like I have no time for people, yet want to meet people really badly. I'm also an oxymoron about it, because of the way I grew up, I feel like generally most people I see are all **** blithering idiots.
But I'm trying. I'm not sure if making a big post on a forum is a start, but... hell it counts for something right?
If anyone wants to be cool and help me out, that would be amazing. I can put more info if it's needed and whatnot. I can see it'd be hard to keep track of what I just wrote lol. But I gotta go at the moment. But I'll be back, because I'd like to talk to all you people here.
