Why does it always have to be my friends who like me??

[Enchantress]

That sucks!!Why does it always have to be my guy friends who like me and tell me and then things get awkward and I lose whatever great friendship I had with them or it never really returns back to how it was before. Life is soo unfair.Why can't it be the guy I want or atleast somebody who isn't my friend so that it doesn't ruin whatever successful relationships I'd created.Why?? If it has to be this way I'd so much rather not be liked by anyone or be put into those honeysuckle situations!

So now I have one of my very good (previously till 2 weeks ago) friends refusing to look into my eyes anymore and running away like a shy rat whenever he sees me and the other I've no idea if he'll do the same cause we were just chatting on msn when it got all awkward like that Please help me ,that sucks!!

 

[oarivan]

I'm afraid as a guy I've done this before to female friends and sometimes we just can't help falling for someone. Best thing to do is not reciprocate their feelings, especially if you really don't like them in that way. If you let them down gently explaining you really don't see them that way, they'll pout for a while but at least they won't cling onto you in the hopes of someday getting in your pants.

The other thing you could do is stop being so darn enchanting.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

bummer. guess we just can't help who we like 'like that'. friendship is a great base from which to form a deeper relationship but sometimes one person wants that next level and the other doesnt. people want different things at different times and crossed desires just come with the territory of life.

maybe hang back on your friendship a bit.. give it some space and perhaps in time their affections may diminish.

idk. it does suck.

 

[Talus]

I've been on both sides of this one, and I can feel your pain. It just sucks for everyone involved, since it's really nobody's fault. The heart wants what it wants, and it's not all that easy for people to control. It's always one of the dangers of opposite sex friendships, and you just have to hope after some time you'll be able to work things out and remain friends.

 

[Badjedidude]

Friends with benefits.

Yup. Not as bad as it sounds.

----Steve

 

[Sway]

Dude.. also... you should give your friend some space.. and hope they understand or get over you in due time.. I've liked one of my female friends quite recently... we're gone past it,, and we're cool about it pretty fast... but mostly cuz i had to *always forced a smile to hide the hurt *...But the main thing is... they reason he's running away from you is cuz.. he's confused at his own feelings?? ... when he sees you he knows you want don't want a relationship, but he can't help it and still likes you? Sticking close with him/her after you rejected them is very.. veryy confusing for the other party, when he's around you, he keeps on having hope everytime u guys get friendly with each other...maybe u should try cut him some slack and let him sort it out for himself?

Lol and Steve not all of us are cut out for being playboys/girls, but its definitely a great outcome~ =D

 

[Badjedidude]

Mostly my point was this:

Why is it so weird to take things to a sexual level with friends? I don't think there's any reason it should "weird up" a friend relationship to sleep with a friend. Seriously...if you think about it, it's sort of natural to have sexual thoughts about friends every once in a while. Actually acting on those thoughts is only taking it to the next level...and if you enjoy it and find that you can remain just friends, then great! But if you don't like it....why let a friendship end over something so trivial?

Just chalk it up as a failed experiment, that's all. You tried a new activity with your friend and it didn't work out. There's no shame or weirdness in that.

I've been in several friends-with-benefits arrangements. We'd hang out and do normal crap that friends did together, and once in a while if one or both of us was having a dry spell, then we'd have sex or make out or something. It wasn't weird at all and neither of us had problems with it. She knew we were just going to remain friends, and I knew it...so no complications and no probs. We were just friends who took it to a more intimate level every once in a while.

----Steve

 

[Remedy]

I think some people don't take advantage of friends with benefits is because they don't think with their dicks to put it bluntly. BlahBlah I know you are probably thinking I'm an idiotic pathetic virgin by what I'm about to post but it's just my opinion. Some people treat sex as a deeper connection and don't want to just do it with anyone even just friends looking for a fix.

I will never understand why people want someone so much more who has slept around and treats sex as if though its something for merely pleasure and experimentation. I know I'm questioning one's ideals but it's just what I believe I guess :/. I just know I'll never use my dick to do the thinking for me. Although I've never had the chance because I'm pathetic as all hell haha.

(sorry if I took the post the wrong way)

 

[SophiaGrace]

Friends with benefits.

Yup. Not as bad as it sounds.

----Steve

Yeah it is :club:

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

I think some people don't take advantage of friends with benefits is because they don't think with their dicks to put it bluntly.

gotta love the blunt. nice one rem.

I know you are thinking I'm an idiotic pathetic virgin

er.. that just might be in your head dude.

 

[Remedy]

I know you are thinking I'm an idiotic pathetic virgin

er.. that just might be in your head dude.

Most of the time when you question something you have not done yourself thats what people say unfortunately :/. Besides I think I use it as a defense mechanism so I can put myself down first.

 

[Nitramici]

Why does it always have to be friends who like you? Well...
If I ever fell in love with someone, it'd be someone I was friend with first.

Anyhow, if someone likes you it's (usually?) gonna be pretty hard for him to just be friend.

 

[Badjedidude]

I think some people don't take advantage of friends with benefits is because they don't think with their dicks to put it bluntly.

*rubbing head* Ouch. ****, dude. lol

It's not that I'm thinking with my dick. I do see sex as an emotional, deep connection...when with the right person. I guess it's sort of hard to explain in a way that makes sense...but when you have sex with a friend, it IS emotional...just not "romantic" emotional, if that makes sense. You're with your friend, causing her pleasure and doing something you both love to do...and there is a deeper connection there...it just doesn't go into the realm of love or romance.

It's sort of a deeper, intimate understanding between friends. The chemistry is there, the friendship is there, the emotions are there....but for some reason it's just not love. *shrug*

Maybe that doesn't make much sense really, but I tried. o_0

----Steve

 

[Wyrm]

To Enchantress: Whenever you meet a guy who you're not attracted to, but want to be friends with, just make it obvious to him that you only like him as a friend. If you don't do that, then the possibility of you guys getting together will remain in his mind.........

.............Anyway, I don't have an issue with a fresia-buddies kind of friendship. You get sex, without all the BS and drama that comes with relationships! Why do people have to be in a relationship to have sex? There isn't any girl that I have feelings for right now, but that doesn't diminish my desire to bang. There really isn't anything wrong with it.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Because at some level...We all want something that we can't have...

Because you be smexy ???
Come on now....live it up, enjoy it while you can.
There will come a day when you'll tell yourself...Yeap, i was the honeysuckle or you wish you have men
chasing after ya.....

Ok..i get it, it's not just a girl thing....I keep female friends in the friendzone too ya know...even to this day.
True I've been reject and kept in the friendzone by some women...
At the sametime I've done some rejecting myself to beautiful women...Don't trip out.
You can't be all things to all peaple.
mmmm...I've had pelnty of women that asked me out. Sometimes you just gatta go after what you want.
I've always admire a woman that can do that...They have more guts and courage than some men.
These are some of the qualities I find very sexy about some women. I has to do more than just sex or outter beauty.
Even when it pretains to sex..she'll simply tell me what she likes and what she wants. It's a part of her charecter that
will apply in other area of her life as will.

it's like this....
I got clean and sober at a very young becuase I wanted it...I had to go out and get it. Be willing to go to any length.
It's a part of my cheractor. I just had to apply it to other areas in my life with out all the guilt and shame bullshit.

Know what you want and go out and get it...don't waste your time lingering, negocating with yourself or approval from others.

FFS sake...Steve
For some reason they're not hot and smexy to her. She already said.
She wants a BF not a bother...for crying out loud.

 

[Remedy]

I'm sorry I guess it's just my opinion and maybe I should not have expressed it. I've just grown so bitter over the years.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm sorry I guess it's just my opinion and maybe I should not have expressed it. I've just grown so bitter over the years.

NO, DAMMMIT!!! You're entirely entitled to your opinion. I didn't find it bitter at all. If that's how you feel, then own it and be proud, man. Say whatever the hell you want! I wasn't blasting you or something...just trying to better explain my opinion, which is admittedly a bit weird.

----Steve

 

[Wyrm]

I'm sorry I guess it's just my opinion and maybe I should not have expressed it. I've just grown so bitter over the years.

You apologize too much. Don't be so timid dude. Just say what's on your mind and tell it like it is, without feeling sorry or ashamed!!

 

[mintymint]

Well, there's always some part of a guy that makes him see practically everyone as an eligible partner to one degree or another It depends on how you look at the situation. You could take it as a compliment that the guys who know you the best are attracted to you in that way. To me it seems like a positive indicator of what kind of person you are Relationships often change and shift, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. It's definitely not unusual for friendship to become a stepping stone for something more. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do if someone has feelings towards you besides handle the matter as tactfully as you can. Sometimes it's just the situation, and it sucks but you gotta bear with it and see it through.

 

[Remedy]

I just wanted to say my bad again because I have seen the error in my ways and someone has helped me through it. I've just become so bitter that I allow it to consume me sometimes. Me putting someone else down is no different than someone putting me down. Everyone doesn't have the same views on everything and I need to accept that. I do deserve all the criticism I get but I just can't help it sometimes.