Why does it hurt me that he sleeps with other women?
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Luna
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SullenGirl said:
If you go to male-dominated forums - you'll hear a lot of that.
It's not just in regards to cheating; but in general.
"Men are visual creatures/ unable to focus sexual attraction, attention, actions to one woman/ need variety/ biology to spread out their sperm to many women as possible due to large amounts of sperm production - science blahblah."
The sad thing is, I think there is much truth to it.
I see a lot of these posts on these forums and every time I come across one; it just makes me feel sick and think that sometimes I am just better off alone.
SullenGirl
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jjam said:
And you know that what I am saying is 100% the truth, which is why you are left speechless.
I think my mistake was I assumed that you were talking about all men. Perhaps you weren't, and that's where I'd have to step back. Yes, many men are pieces of ****. They get chosen, but they are garbage. I will not argue with that. Many women are too. If you are talking about all men, it's not so much that I am speechless. I just don't think I'd care to try to convince you of otherwise.
Not all men are pieces of honeysuckle. No matter how down in the dumps i am, no matter how shitty of a day i'm having, I can always hold my head high knowing that I'm a good man and an even better person. I pride myself on it. It's not simply because i say it, not even simply because i believe it but because I KNOW it. As far as im concerned, it's an irrefutable fact that can and will continue to be proven true time and time again because that's who I am.
and I understand that everyone has their experiences that lead them to believe the things that they believe but it really gets under my skin that there are so few good guys left and/or the ******** have done such a wonderful job of jading women that women have such strong preconceptions that ALL men are dogs so that when a good one does comes along, they have to jump through all kinds of hoops, break down all kinds of walls and do a whole dog and pony show to get a woman to see he's not terrible. And if he doesn't do that or until he does that, he's just "another guy" It's bullshit. I shouldn't have to pay for someone else mistakes. No one should
and I understand that everyone has their experiences that lead them to believe the things that they believe but it really gets under my skin that there are so few good guys left and/or the ******** have done such a wonderful job of jading women that women have such strong preconceptions that ALL men are dogs so that when a good one does comes along, they have to jump through all kinds of hoops, break down all kinds of walls and do a whole dog and pony show to get a woman to see he's not terrible. And if he doesn't do that or until he does that, he's just "another guy" It's bullshit. I shouldn't have to pay for someone else mistakes. No one should
Ak5
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Girls love guys that treat them like honeysuckle.
nerdygirl
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Behold! It's becoming a thread full of sweeping generalizations!
Ak5 said:
I don't think so. But what I wish BOTH sides would do is actually take TIME to get to know someone. I swear, it's like people get wrapped up into people for the most superficial reasons and then when they get their minds blown by how crappy of a PERSON the one they chose is, BOOM! All men are this or all women are that.
Mazda13bRotary
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Some girls like guys who treat them like honeysuckle, some don't. It depends on how rich/attractive the guy is really.
Yes, I did indeed contradict my own statement. I am generalizing, the world is generalized.
Yes, I did indeed contradict my own statement. I am generalizing, the world is generalized.
IgnoredOne
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lol
Ak5
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Sorry, I was speaking in my context. And, this is not a generalization.
Girls (ages 12-19) love guys that treat them like honeysuckle. Most grow out of it during their early twenties.
Girls (ages 12-19) love guys that treat them like honeysuckle. Most grow out of it during their early twenties.
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blackhole
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Ak5 said:
define "most", lol
i've known many who like ******** well into their geriatric age.
Ak5
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blackhole said:
Well, I am sure females always have a love for the "*******". But once they reach the age of 20 they start to realize "Humph, this ******* might be hot, but he won't be able to keep a steady job and ensure food on the table." Thats why most people fall in love during College/Work.
Sure, I'd love to have the hottest girl in town, but that doesn't guarantee that she'll stay loyal to me.
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blackhole
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nerdygirl said:
i prefer an old-fashioned whisk brook as opposed to burdensome vacuum cleaner (on tile at least).
^my sweeping generalization
SofiasMami
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Why the heck does every thread featuring a woman complaining about a man or men get twisted into a thread about how women like being treated like honeysuckle? If that is "man"kind's best defense for their boorish behavior, maybe I should jump the fence and switch teams, for pete's sake.
Teresa
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blackhole
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SofiasMami said:
it was just a matter of time, lol
don't forget to post pics!
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blackhole
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he's 15. i think he's just saying "teens"
TheSolitaryMan
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SofiasMami said:
I think it stems from bitterness really. I'm not sure that it's fair - I've already been strung along by a girl that most other girls recognise as "bad" but I didn't at the time, so I can't really blame girls for not being the perfect character judges with their boyfriends.
It's just a common male grievance that's at least a little justified. It's immeasurably frustrating when the sweet, kind girl randomly decides to go out with the skull-tattooed, heavily bearded knife-wielding maniac instead of the sweet, kind guy(s).
That kind of irritation resurfaces the minute sweet, kind girls start getting knocky because the sweet, kind guys are no longer interested, or whatever.
Girls do it too, in all these "men are incapable of being faithful and generally suck" threads
Anyway!
To the OP, men may well have wandering eyes (some of them anyway, that's another generalisation entirely), but that doesn't excuse him doing something that hurts you. If you're not into the whole "open relationship thing" (I know I would hate it), then it's best you reveal that to him I think, even if it may break you up.
kinzeUK
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I really can't add anything further here, everyone else has given such succint and intelligent responses and from the ones I read, I couldn't agree more. As a guy (and a sensitive hopless romantic one at that) I did find myself nodding to whoever it was who said:
"In my opinion, your partner sounds like a *********, it sounds like he is staying with you more for convenience rather than love and has you in his vice. I disagree with what he is doing but that is probably because I am a bit of a romantic, I value relationships a hell of a lot more than your partner, your partner sounds like the complete opposite to a romantic. Not all men have wandering eyes, it really does just depend on the person."
*sorry, I should have made a note who typed that, was the 3rd response down I think but whoever it was, kudos to you
As far as I'm concerned, I am not an advocate of an open relationship, certainly NOT for the likes of me. I am a one man-one woman person, always have always will be. I think as someone said on here, this just is just a flat out excuse for your partner to have his end away with as many women as humanly possible, thinly disguise it with all that riddiculous 'philosophy' about trying to have a deeper understanding of women (ughhhh) and ultimately make you look like a subserviant love-struck fool. If you've not got rid of this man, then really it sounds to me like you should. I know you've been with him a fair while but I just don't see this relationship ending up anything but BADLY for you.
Best of luck hun
P.S. Ok I just added something to this post regardless here
"In my opinion, your partner sounds like a *********, it sounds like he is staying with you more for convenience rather than love and has you in his vice. I disagree with what he is doing but that is probably because I am a bit of a romantic, I value relationships a hell of a lot more than your partner, your partner sounds like the complete opposite to a romantic. Not all men have wandering eyes, it really does just depend on the person."
*sorry, I should have made a note who typed that, was the 3rd response down I think but whoever it was, kudos to you
As far as I'm concerned, I am not an advocate of an open relationship, certainly NOT for the likes of me. I am a one man-one woman person, always have always will be. I think as someone said on here, this just is just a flat out excuse for your partner to have his end away with as many women as humanly possible, thinly disguise it with all that riddiculous 'philosophy' about trying to have a deeper understanding of women (ughhhh) and ultimately make you look like a subserviant love-struck fool. If you've not got rid of this man, then really it sounds to me like you should. I know you've been with him a fair while but I just don't see this relationship ending up anything but BADLY for you.
Best of luck hun
P.S. Ok I just added something to this post regardless here
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