Why is this happening now

[Imjustme]

Ok so the thing is im struggling with some feelings at the moment. My sister has always been ill,l I love her dearly and understand that we view the world completely differently she see's everything in a very negative and defensive way ( because she has had it hard) whereas I do try and be a little bit more rational and I havent suffered like she has but the thing is growing up she was always the one who craved the attention more than I did so I learnt from a very young age that I needed to fend for myself. I always felt that I came second in the relationship with my mum, that prority wise I didnt rank that high because I never sought the attention in the same way that my sister did .
I never for a second doubt that my mum loves me any less I just struggle with our relationship
For the last two years my sister has had a worse time and my mum has relied on me more and more emotionally and I don't know if its because things are so raw at the moment or because there is so much going on but the more bad news I hear the more I am distancing myself from my family and I feel so guilty about this as I should be there for them both but I cant take any more I cant talk anymore about negative things
Things came to a head with me when I recieved a text message from my mum that was worded in a way that I thought she had sent it to me by mistake and that it was meant for my sister
I dont know how I can help them because I cant stop the run of bad luck that she is having I have no control over it (like none of us do) and i keep thinking to myself Im such a selfish person because all I can think of is the distance between my mum and me I thought I had got over this but lately Im struggling with it
I cant talk to my mum about this as she has so much on her

 

[Ak5]

I'm guessing your sister has some sort of disability, since you say illness.

You understand your sisters illness and your mother's priorities, she has a child who can't fend for herself (your sister) so it's natural for her to protect your sister more.

Just by guessing, your mother is old. She can't take care of an ill child by herself, and relies on you for support. It's only natural. You may feel your mother loves your sister more than you, but that is not true.

She's loves you both equally, she just has to "protect" your sister and watch for her more than you. Don't think that she's ignoring you or using you! She obviously cares for her kids .

Sometimes, you may need a little break from the family. If you feel pressure and stressed, take a vacation! Relax. Yet remember, life's hard, your family is first.

Good luck.

 

[tedgresham]

I've found that a little bit of brief honesty goes a long way to mend fences. It's not necessary to explain things your mom knows. "I love you, mom, I am having a bit of a hard time," something like that. Or just the, "I love you." And maybe, an "I care" or something like that. Life gets hard. Don't hesitate to offer a hug. It's very hard for parents with suffering kids. And it's hard for kids to understand everything a parent experiences. A little love goes a long way, my young friend. It may not heal bodies but it will heal hearts and in the long run this is far more important.

 

[Imjustme]

its not that my sister cannot fend for herself nor that my mum is old she is late forties my sister is married and leads a normal life (sorry if my post was confusing) its just since she was small she has been ill with diabetes and has a lot of diabetes related problems.
I havent fallen out with my family I am just finding it difficult to always being the "strong" one or the "rock" and the more things the happen the more im expected to just "be there" and that is what im struggling with emotionally I give so much yet I dont get anything in return because it seems like its assumed I dont need them yet I really do.

 

[Guyonthelake]

Of course you need them. I have to agree sometimes all we can really offer is our love and a listening ear. Trust me I've found out in the last couple of weeks I've been here what it means to hear people tell you they care when your really down. You may not be able to help the situation but just caring and showing them you love them means so much to them I'm sure. I work in the healthcare field and know that sometimes a chronic illness consumes the entire family. That's not a good thing. You deserve to live your life. I believe you can do that yet still show your support.