Why So Thoughtful?

[grainofrice24]

Funny how a lack of self respect, results in being too nice, but being too nice is a turnoff, but women want a "nice" guy...I do agree with HappyYogi. Funny...I've never heard a guy complain because a girl was too nice either.

I guess everyone's definition of a "nice guy" is different. I personally thought the bears with the name on it was not a bad idea. I figured it's what a 'nice guy' would do.

I had just met a girl in mid January, and for valentines day I got her chocolates that had a picture of a Dinosaur on it...it said "You're Dino-mite". I thought it was cute/funny, but not to serious.

A friend of mine once told me that if a guy is too nice, she'll just keep pushing him to see how much he's willing to take..out of boredom. I guess you should be nice SOMETIMES. Picking the right time though is a delicate science from what I can gather. Although giving someone gifts on their birthday seems all too logical. If she doesn't appreciate you and what you do for her...leave her be...she ain't worth it. You'll live...trust me.

 

[healer]

Dude I so know what you are talking about with this. I feel like I'm such a nice person, but being nice, people just take complete advantage of me.

The "good" people just take what they want out of me, thank me for it and move on. The bad people milk me for everything then leave me. I think I know what you're talking about grainofrice - it's messed up but I do think some people who are narcissists will just keep pushing nice people to see how far they will go. Like one girl kept asking me for things, even my laptop (which thankfully I didn't give) just to see if I would give them to her.

I'm convinced my kindness must be weakness.

 

[Darkness]

Being thoughtful would seem like something good, yet there have been numerous occasions where being thoughtful has backfired on me...

I had been hanging out with a girl for about a month. I saw some bears holding letters and thought it would be nice to get the ones that spelled her name. Well, when I told her I had something for her she gave me this look that made me regret saying anything. I literally just wanted to get out of there, but of course I was already too deep in so I gave her the bears. I will never forget that look :S

On this same girl's birthday (several months later), I gave her two things I knew she would like: a pair of earrings she had mentioned she wanted to get someday to complete her collection of pieces by the same artist (and these earrings weren't expensive or anything) and a Jack Sparrow t-shirt (she was a big Pirates Of The Caribbean fan). Anyhow, I dropped the gift off at her apartment (she wasn't home when I went). Later I got a call from her saying that a call saying happy birthday would have been enough. I have also had other instances where have told me not to think of them...

Anyhow, there are more incidents but I think that is enough for now. It makes me question everything I plan to do for someone now because I am afraid they will react negatively. So I keep asking myself why so thoughtful? Am I wrong for thinking about other people? It is very frustrating. It makes me feel like I do not matter... so much darkness in my life

There was a girl that I got to know pretty well over the past year. She ended up having a rough year and I went out of my way to help her. Yet she made me feel so unwanted and that crushed me. Listening to her constantly say know one cares. Then I would go out of my way to be thoughtful to her and evidently I wasn't good enough. I just don't understand!