Naleena
Well-known member
I have been feeling depressed for a few days now. I find myself wanting to hide and not much in a mood to talk. There are things about myself that I wish to change. One of them is being able to have the wisdom and guts to speak up to people at work.
The last night I worked, I had a man who was actively dying. His wife, who was alone, stayed with him. She was so pitiful. She spoke to him so softly and lovingly and told him it was ok to go to heaven.
They had been together for many many years and they loved each other very much. She would break down often and cry for him. He had begun to get what is refered to as the "death rattle". I was giving him medication to dry it up but sometimes, the medication doesn't work. She was so afraid that he was "drowning" and she wept as she asked me if he was. She said his biggest fear was drowning at death. Truth be told, the answer was yes. He was.
His lungs were filling up. But thats beside the point of this post.
This poor lady was grieving and hurt and had no one. How painful to watch someone you love die...and how horrible it is to watch them filling up with fluid when it was thier worst fear. It tormented her and it took a lot of encouagement and caring to relieve her fears that he was somehow suffering. I stayed with her most of the night. I did my best to comfort her and at one time, I held her as she cried. So sad that the only comfort she had was a nurse. I comfoted her and her husband the best that I could. Towards the end of the night she asked if she could lay sown beside him like they had done for so many years. She felt it would comfort him in his journey to passing over. The obvious answer was yes. Ofcourse she could. She was so happy to have that. Permission to lay beside the man she loved one last night. She put her arm around him as she had for many years.
Then...the day supervisor came in. He is a mean, arrogant, prick. Plain and simple and our personalities clash like water and oil.
When he found out about the bed having been moved to accomadate her, he said the staff had to get around the bed and it had to be moved back. The truth is the only time anyone has to get around the bed (usually) is when a patient is turned. We turn them every 4 hours and so it would have been a inconvience to take 5 extra minutes to move a bed to turn this man 4 times in a twelve hour shift. A small price to pay so the woman could lay beside her dying husband. Wouldn't you say? Well, I should have said something but, I didn't. I don't know why I just didn't pipe up and tell him what I thought. That's not true. I do know. I was afraid to because of his position. I was a coward. Not that it would have changed anything but at least I could have been more proactive for the family. I feel I failed in some way. I failed the poor lady and I failed myself for not standing up to him and telling him what I thought. I don't know if this makes sense and Im too tired to fix it sooooo..here it is.
The last night I worked, I had a man who was actively dying. His wife, who was alone, stayed with him. She was so pitiful. She spoke to him so softly and lovingly and told him it was ok to go to heaven.
They had been together for many many years and they loved each other very much. She would break down often and cry for him. He had begun to get what is refered to as the "death rattle". I was giving him medication to dry it up but sometimes, the medication doesn't work. She was so afraid that he was "drowning" and she wept as she asked me if he was. She said his biggest fear was drowning at death. Truth be told, the answer was yes. He was.
His lungs were filling up. But thats beside the point of this post.
This poor lady was grieving and hurt and had no one. How painful to watch someone you love die...and how horrible it is to watch them filling up with fluid when it was thier worst fear. It tormented her and it took a lot of encouagement and caring to relieve her fears that he was somehow suffering. I stayed with her most of the night. I did my best to comfort her and at one time, I held her as she cried. So sad that the only comfort she had was a nurse. I comfoted her and her husband the best that I could. Towards the end of the night she asked if she could lay sown beside him like they had done for so many years. She felt it would comfort him in his journey to passing over. The obvious answer was yes. Ofcourse she could. She was so happy to have that. Permission to lay beside the man she loved one last night. She put her arm around him as she had for many years.
Then...the day supervisor came in. He is a mean, arrogant, prick. Plain and simple and our personalities clash like water and oil.
When he found out about the bed having been moved to accomadate her, he said the staff had to get around the bed and it had to be moved back. The truth is the only time anyone has to get around the bed (usually) is when a patient is turned. We turn them every 4 hours and so it would have been a inconvience to take 5 extra minutes to move a bed to turn this man 4 times in a twelve hour shift. A small price to pay so the woman could lay beside her dying husband. Wouldn't you say? Well, I should have said something but, I didn't. I don't know why I just didn't pipe up and tell him what I thought. That's not true. I do know. I was afraid to because of his position. I was a coward. Not that it would have changed anything but at least I could have been more proactive for the family. I feel I failed in some way. I failed the poor lady and I failed myself for not standing up to him and telling him what I thought. I don't know if this makes sense and Im too tired to fix it sooooo..here it is.
