I know this is a sensitive issue and I hope its ok to post this and talk about these things.
It really worries me though.
I was a pretty heavy self harmer in my teens and early twenties and as a result I have been left with a lot of scars. They completely cover both my forearms and I also have some on my shoulders and a large one on my thigh. They cannot be explained away by any other reason than they are self inflicted. There are just too many and some are faint words.
I have lived with them for so long now that I hardly notice them, thats just how I'm used to looking. My family know and so I make very little effort to cover them. I think I forget that to a lot of people they must look quite horrific and shocking. I almost like to be reminded of that fact once in a while because it brings it home just what I did to myself. I have to live with what I did and I can. I by no means wear them with pride but I also do not wear them with shame.
I guess my question is will they disgust or put off possible boyfriends? Or attract the wrong sort?
I've had people tell me they are sexy, which is weird to me but I'd also hate someone to hate them. I guess what I hope for the most is just someone who could just except them as part of me without attaching some fetish to them.
I never worried about this as much until a few months ago. I met a guy online. Not a dating site but online. We spoke for months, we got on well. I thought. He knew about my self harm and had seen pictures of me. When we met he did seem a little bothered by them "in the flesh". I was worried. Sure enough after only a week of "real life" contact things went sour and he mentioned my self harm as a reason as to why things weren't going to work out. We don't speak now. Personally I think he was just a idiot and used it as an excuse but it got me thinking.
Is it always going to be a problem?
It really worries me though.
I was a pretty heavy self harmer in my teens and early twenties and as a result I have been left with a lot of scars. They completely cover both my forearms and I also have some on my shoulders and a large one on my thigh. They cannot be explained away by any other reason than they are self inflicted. There are just too many and some are faint words.
I have lived with them for so long now that I hardly notice them, thats just how I'm used to looking. My family know and so I make very little effort to cover them. I think I forget that to a lot of people they must look quite horrific and shocking. I almost like to be reminded of that fact once in a while because it brings it home just what I did to myself. I have to live with what I did and I can. I by no means wear them with pride but I also do not wear them with shame.
I guess my question is will they disgust or put off possible boyfriends? Or attract the wrong sort?
I've had people tell me they are sexy, which is weird to me but I'd also hate someone to hate them. I guess what I hope for the most is just someone who could just except them as part of me without attaching some fetish to them.
I never worried about this as much until a few months ago. I met a guy online. Not a dating site but online. We spoke for months, we got on well. I thought. He knew about my self harm and had seen pictures of me. When we met he did seem a little bothered by them "in the flesh". I was worried. Sure enough after only a week of "real life" contact things went sour and he mentioned my self harm as a reason as to why things weren't going to work out. We don't speak now. Personally I think he was just a idiot and used it as an excuse but it got me thinking.
Is it always going to be a problem?