Will this ever work or am I just being stupid?

[wannabeXL]

I was pretty good at not taking insults personally when I was about 20, but over the years (what with my anxiety issues and whatnot) I've become more and more sensitive to criticism. I've gotten to the point where I stay away from insulting people not because I've suddenly become a nice and thoughtful person, but because I'm afraid of being insulted back.

So in an attempt to build a thicker skin, I've been purposely setting myself up so I'd burned over and over again when I'm online (because I have yet to gather the courage to do it in real life). This seems to work in that for a few days I'd feel invincible. Within a week, though, I'd become so exhausted both mentally and physically that I'd lose whatever confident I've gained, forcing myself to retreat into the kind of world where I'd say only nice things to people and people would say only nice things to me. While living in a world where everyone is nice to each other seems nice in theory... it's really no life at all. I desperately want to get out of this world, but it seems that my real-life responsibilities don't leave me enough energy to deal with my anxiety issues.

 

[Minus]

How are you purposely setting yourself up? I wouldn't encourage flaming people for the fun of it or trolling but if you have some more constructive way then it might be worth a try but from what you describe it doesn't seem to have any lasting results.

 

[wannabeXL]

It doesn't have much to do with this forum... specifically.

And yes, it's more complicated than I can explain.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I think I know what your getting at...

A threashold kind of thing. Or building calusses on my finger tips for playing my guitar.

However ..I don't think it's a good idea to subject yourself to adbrasive people or adbrasvie enviornment.
It just too mental and emotional draining. There's other factors at play such as manipulations.
If you play with fire,...you'll get burn.

I've been subjected to racism all my life...I don't know if i have thick skin..
I know it messed me up a bit having to live like that all my life.
it can get confusing at times..becuase a part of me wants to retaliate..then i experince all kinds of
stronge emotions...every draining.

For me I focus on building myself esteem and loving myself.
Get rid of the guilt and shame. I get right with me first.
There's stages you'll go through...such as building a healhty boundary.
I'm nobody's doormate and sometimes I have to stand up for myself...
it depends on the indiviual ..sometimes i have tell them to fresia off and die.
However most of the time..if I'm a right space or in good spirit..I just ignore adbrasvie people.

In the heat of the moment..it can be very emotional becuase it'll retrigger a lot of emotions I have
already within myself.

So for me..it still comes back down to, I can only change myself and no one else.
I work on myself to let go of the emotional baggages ..process me feelings..and let go of them.

I recognize my buttons..I try to not other people push my buttons or i get rid of my buttons.

Once I learn how to be self supporting or my self esteem get better...I don't worry so much what other
people think or say...My approch is to not let myself get contaminate by all that dramma and chaos.
So..if some people are dickheads...it's on them..not me.

Yes..I can't live in a box or a shaltered life.
As for me...I can walk into a room , anywhere, any place...I can still feel that fucken hate.
But i know it's not me that's projecting that hate.

Copping tools or skills.

Sometimes i pretend I'm teflon man...nothing sticks to me..
Or I don't let other people rent space in my head.

There's also some martial art principles or other principles...when dealing with people.

Keeping your balance...stay centered.
You let people fall on thier own momentum...just by slighty step out of the way.
Then trip them, ***** slap them behind their heads or kick them when they're down (screw fucken guilt).
It's same principle as what you resist presist..
If you stand in front or resist a person..you will receive a blow.
You cease figthing the other party....Kicking a person when they're down is not fighting.lmao

Or you can simply let go and give a person plenty of rope to hang themselves.
Eventaully a gardenia will cross the wrong person that's having a bad day and won't put up with that honeysuckle.

Or a person that's making niose only wants attendtion...So you bascailly just let go and ignore them to
not make anymore niose.

Or would you rather have peace or rather be right ?
In other words contravercy or argument is piontless...it's just a waste of time and energy.

Or you can get really spiritual and expand your consiousness...
" forgive them father for they know what they have done"
Bacailly JC, Budhda had a very high consiousness.
People that generate pains and suffering are operating at lower consiousness or awareness.
In other words they are ignorant and don't know better...so there's no judgements.
Nothing real can be threaten...meaning you know who you are...Truth /Love/whole/complete.
In other words people tht generate pains and sufferings are operting from FEAR consiousness.
They live in fear so they alway have to attack others , put others down to make themselves feel okay.
Fear is FAULTS EVIDENCE APPREARING REAL
Acatually when you're in state of in being WHOLE/LOVE...you attract nice and loving people
into your life. Contrary to what some say...alike people attracks alike poeple...
You know...such as people saying..."we're on the same page or we have chemistry"

You have major eye contact with poeple...fearful people can't look at you in the eyes.
In other words your self worth is operating at a very high level. Fear is nothing more than a mold hill or illusion.

That's what i mean when i say when I'm in good spirit...when I'm in good spirit..I can simply just ignore people
or live and let live. Allow people to be who they are and still stay open to them.

 

[Twitchy]

So in an attempt to build a thicker skin, I've been purposely setting myself up so I'd burned over and over again when I'm online (because I have yet to gather the courage to do it in real life).

I tried this exact thing for awhile and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Actually, all it got me was the reputation of being an ass. It made sense to me at the time as well, but considering the consequences it's really not worth the effort.