Work Anxiety

[jaguarundi]

I myself have been in a situation that was making me ill - as someone who worked as an independent in my job. I did not have to pay to leave though. But one place - I had an operation before I took the contract there, so I wasn't feeling brilliant. But the atsmosphere, the people, the back-stabbing and nastiness. It became an effort to walk through the door and it just got worse. I ended up on medication - unfortunately not only did it not work, it made feel as if I was going bonkers (small percent of people got that apparently and I was one of them).

So I quit. Having taken time off because of my op I was worried about not paying the mortgage etc , but with a marketable skill set I easily got another contract - it was 1.5 hour drive away instead of just across the river, but the people were great, I got on with my boss, senior management listened, they thought highly of me, and I recovered 'me' fairly quickly.

So I know - it isn't worth it and if you cannot carry on, then don't.

Seek legal advice. You may be able to nullify the contract if you have to leave because of ill health. And it's making you ill, so.....

**hug** whatever you do.

Oh - one thing that helped me was getting a Shiatsu or osteopathy deep tissue massage twice a week. Released the tight muscles which helped.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Gracie, I tried writing the 2 lists advice you gave, it did help a little. I'll try my best though, thanks so much. *hug*

jag, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sounded like such an ordeal, I know what it's like though to feel not at your best at health and then having to put up with so much else.. it's a lot harder to tolerate. :\
But I'm glad that it eventually worked out. Thanks a lot jag *hug*

Well I spoke to my bosses, and they just said that I should try to take things easy for the next 2 months and to take care of myself. They can't do anything else about it.. or don't want to. So I guess I can't really quit.. going legal on this will take up a lot of time and energy too, wouldn't it.

Sigh.. I give up.

Thanks though everyone. I'll just see how far I can go. Although I already feel like I can't go any further. :\

 

[jaguarundi]

Trust me LF, I have has far, far worse experiences than that, in relation to my mother's Alzheimers and my father's selfish attitude to it. Including the friend I was venting to, telling me that 'my anger and bitterness was alienating all my friends.' So I had to stop even that release. (didn't know about ALL back then).

Well at least they are saying take it easy, which you can translate as doing bugger all if you feel like it.

So - relax, put your feet up and do just that. Take it easy. Have relaxing lunch breaks.

Look forward to the money bouncing into your account for 2 months more.

Focus on what is going to come next for you.

Accept as many **hugs** as you can

PM or email me if you want to do it in private.

**hugs again**

 

[9006]

Realistically this is a mental issue and it's only the way you're thinking about it that can make a difference, aside from being high all day while working the only real way of dealing with this is to try and change your mental process; but as with anything it's nothing easy at all but pretty easy for me to say, unfortunately people here cannot help you with this but suggest different ways of dealing with it - as that's all you're going to have to do until you quit.

The feeling of being stuck probably has more of an impact on the way you're feeling, almost like you're in prison until June, but then you're free you're having thoughts about what the hell you'll do and pressure about stuff that comes with it. In this situation it's best to take once step at a time, you could try concentrating on each day rather than the entire duration left and then what after. I always find that when I come through these tough times I feel stronger - mentally so you should feel much better just from that.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks again jag. And I totally get you with the whole issue with your parents.. I had a similar experience with my father being sick most of his lifetime and having to put up with his verbally abusive behaviour. It was really heartbreaking towards the end of his life but oh well. I can't think about that right now..

Yeah well they say take it easy, I can do that.. but knowing the type of person I am.. I tend to lean towards the perfectionist side or I will just stress myself out for not doing things properly. So it's going to be tough to take things easy.. I just care too much about the work I produce. And it involves young people.. even more I can't just take it easy. I guess we'll have to see how this goes. :\

You're such a sweet, jag, thanks for all this help and support. *hugs*

Hey Mike, thanks so much for your input as well. You're totally right though, I do feel like I'm in prison and can only be let out in June. Except that I'm in prison for nothing bad that I've done.
I guess I'm gonna have to try and take it one day at a time like you say. If I keep looking at it as a whole 2-months long thing, it's quite depressing. Time flies, right? I can't get out of this, and I can't do anything else about it.

Starting this thread has really helped me some, you lovely members have given me so many words of advice and support (both here and in PM), more than I ever expected so thank you so much, you guys. And not to mention my one pillar of strength and support who's always been there through my good and bad days (you know who you are).
*many hugs to everyone*

 

[Edward W]

So it's going to be tough to take things easy.. I just care too much about the work I produce. And it involves young people.. even more I can't just take it easy.

This I know about you, and whilst on one hand I would never want you to change that, for your own well being you must try and put yourself first for the moment.

Please rest as much as you can and ensure you eat well to keep your strength up.

We all wish you the best.

(Hug)

 

[ladyforsaken]

*hugs* Eddie, thank you.

 

[BrokenInside]

*Huggg*

Try to focus on positive stuff like your colleagues who support you through thick and thin and the pleasure you get by serving others. If it doesn't help, then you must give a shot to some anxiolytic drug.

We're all in the same game, just different levels
Dealing with the same hell, just different devils

 

[9006]

Hey Mike, thanks so much for your input as well. You're totally right though, I do feel like I'm in prison and can only be let out in June. Except that I'm in prison for nothing bad that I've done.
I guess I'm gonna have to try and take it one day at a time like you say. If I keep looking at it as a whole 2-months long thing, it's quite depressing. Time flies, right? I can't get out of this, and I can't do anything else about it.

Don't think of it as a lost cause, at least it's helping you to live with a roof over your head. Some people work most of their lives in a job they hate, made worse by the fact they're truly stuck. At least change is going to happen at some point.

 

[Groucho]

Aww Groucho, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know how difficult it must've been.. believe me. Some people might think you're not serious about work when you keep changing but sometimes it's really necessary for your personal sanity. And I'm glad you kept trying but I'm sorry that you've been scarred so much to try again. Maybe we need to keep trying to get to the job that really seems comfortable enough for you to get by with. With decent people. :\

The type of work doesn't bother me, it's just the type of people in the work environment. Their criticisms have a reverse effect: I work harder if I'm encouraged. But I can't control who I'm working with, and can't find out until I get the job (which usually takes a lot of effort to attain in the first place).

I think it's the height of irony that they talk to me for 30 minutes repeating the same thing about how slow I'm working when they're taking up so much of my time telling me apparently how slow I'm working. Judging by the number of previous job quitters (15) I'd argue they were purposefully/actively criticising other people too. No-one quits a job in this economy unless the job is extremely unpleasant.

 

[Ovid]

Work anxiety is terrible, feels very trapping, I guess sometimes we have to endure it and think of what we are working for.

I'm suffering a lot from it myself, and I guess everyone has triggers for why. Mine is more that work blinded me to what was happening in other parts of my life. Now I just get very panicked when I'm at my desk. Association of places to emotions, makes life hell sometimes.

Hope you feel better as the days get closer to June.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks B, and Mike (you're right, I have to find some peace from that at least).

Groucho, I see your situation there. And as much as you know that it wasn't you who's the problem (and that it was them), it still doesn't really help much, does it. Meh.

I'm sorry you're going through something similar too, Ovid. The only option now I have is to keep going and endure it.. I just hope that it doesn't mess me up any more than it already has.
Thank you too, I hope you will come to a better situation with work yourself. :\

 

[Sun35]

I hear a lot of people talk about how they have social anxiety and how hard it is for them.

Never would I imagine I'd come face to face with anxiety and actually feel so helpless about it. And it's not even social anxiety, it's work anxiety.

Not even sure exactly what is the root cause.. but it seems like everything is the root cause. I've been putting up with so much crap from work for the past.. 5 years and now, I think I'm just at my wits' end where I just find it so hard to keep going.

The good thing is I'm quitting my job at the end of June. The bad thing is, I can't even be happy about this. I get so sick just from thinking about it, headaches, nausea, breathlessness and just pure assholic anxiety. I hate it.

I feel like I don't have any more endurance to get through the next few months. I'm having a really hard time with this and I really don't know what to do. :'(

Don't think anyone can say or anything else can really help me with this.. but I guess I just needed to say this out one last time before I push myself forward to get through this anyway. There isn't really anything else I can do.

I'm just hoping that while I push myself to do this, I don't kill myself by the end of this journey. They say you take one day at a time.. right now it's kinda hard to even do that.

Yes I can understand what you've written above, I can understand how difficult it must have been for you all this time.

Honestly I wish I could say something but all I can do is hope things get better for you.

That's all from me

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thank you, Sun35 - I appreciate it.