Fate as the last hope of my/our life?

Hello folks,

almost all of you do not know me as I am new in this community (have a look at the new member thread) and since a lot of lonely years and a lot of disappointing years I see no more reason that everything will went fine except the fate:

The fate is my last hope as I realised that no matter what I do for not beeing lonely it does not work and it did not work. Since I am 17 years old I got no more friends as most of the peoples I did meet do not value a friendship and the same belongs do relationships. At least in germany many of the girls do not want you as a person, they do not want you because of your charakter but they want you because of your job, of your money ore whatever.

Due to many many disapointing happenings in my life (relationships, friendships) I lost the will to fight for friends, lost the will to fight for a relationship. I gave up myself.

All I believe in now is FATE.

What do you think about it? Does fate exist? Is right to give up your life and giove it in the hands of fate?

Do not get me wrong, I worked hard in getting friends and I did my very best in relationships of the past 10 years but as almost everything ended up in a mess I do not have the power anymore to make my life go work, I rather hope for fate now.

Best regards

Welcome to the forums Jeff,

To be honest, I am somewhat torn as to whether or not fate exists.
Fate means that our paths are predetermined. That our actions in this world have no chance for change or bearing on our lives, as it all has already been planned.

It is frightening...to believe that no matter how we try, failure is inevitable as we are destined for it.
It is frightening...to believe that no matter how we try, failure is still possible even if there is no such thing as fate.

I'm not too sure if fate can be considered a "last hope" as it sounds almost as a justification for giving up.

I'm sorry about your difficulties with friendship and dating; I struggle with making friendships and have never had a relationship myself.

But when I think about this, I think of a quote of Michael Jordan's:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

I have quit and failed many things (piano, dance, skating etc.), and then I see my old classmates...succeeding because they persisted.
Is it fate that they persisted and I did not?
I didn't succeed because I didn't fight the battle.
I think...it's better to hope and keep trying...and encounter failure as painful as it may be, because there is always the possibility for success.
Instead of giving up hope, and accepting it as an eternal destiny.

Well, when reading your reply it seems you are totally right but the more bad happens the more you are out of power and the more you loose the will to go on in making new experiences that will turn into a bad experience.

You are right when saying Fate is kind of an excuse but isn't fate a hope and hope the only thing every person on the world got? I think the only power that gives us the strenght to go on with our lifes is hope and fate is kind of a hope.

Tricky question..I would say if it works for you then go for it..Myself I just try to do what I think is right and take each day as it comes..
Just being on this message board has made me realize that I am not truely alone in the way I see life and I do like and need to be in the company of others.I have lived and prefered to be by myself for to long..
In the last few weeks I have made a superhuman effort and found people who I actually like hanging around with and not those fools who are friendly when it suits them..
I still live by myself..Will my fate change this? I dunno?..I'm to worn out to care anymore..at the moment friendship will do..
This message board and the folk who come here have certainly done me the power of good and I hope it does the same for you

It seems to me that you're a little young to be falling back on your "last hope."

Personally, what you're experiencing just sounds like common teen-anxiety and drama. Just give it a few years and you'll see that the world isn't really ending for you.

Badjedidude said:

It seems to me that you're a little young to be falling back on your "last hope."

Personally, what you're experiencing just sounds like common teen-anxiety and drama. Just give it a few years and you'll see that the world isn't really ending for you.

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Badjedidude..I think Jeff is 27 and he meant 'since I was 17'..

^^^ You THINK, or you are CERTAIN?

Even if he is 27... that's still a little early to be talking about "last hope" and "fate," isn't it? Twenty-seven is still young! A LOT of time to work on things that need to be worked on, enough time to turn things around!

Badjedidude said:

^^^ You THINK, or you are CERTAIN?

Even if he is 27... that's still a little early to be talking about "last hope" and "fate," isn't it? Twenty-seven is still young! A LOT of time to work on things that need to be worked on, enough time to turn things around!

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Well his profile sez he's 27 and his name is Jeff1983 so I would say he's 27 (Jeff!! can you confirm this?)
Sure thing..27 is young and I believe it's never too late too late to turn things around..Take me for instance i'm 39 and have just discovered how to iron my clothes properly..for years I would just fold them straight from the dryer,put them under a sofa cushion and sit on them for a couple of days..

Mike Moose said:

Take me for instance i'm 39 and have just discovered how to iron my clothes properly..for years I would just fold them straight from the dryer,put them under a sofa cushion and sit on them for a couple of days..

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Lol Ironing clothes...? I don't understand what you're saying!!

im skeptical on stuff like this. id like to think we have more control over our life than just waiting on fate. id also like to think im not alone in this world in many ways, like as far as god goes. but it sure feels like i am.

Badjedidude said:

Mike Moose said:

Take me for instance i'm 39 and have just discovered how to iron my clothes properly..for years I would just fold them straight from the dryer,put them under a sofa cushion and sit on them for a couple of days..

Click to expand...

Lol Ironing clothes...? I don't understand what you're saying!!

Click to expand...

Yeah you know..steam iron clothes to knock out the creases

I used to feel and think the sameway not too long ago, but I was hurted and very disappionted
at the time. In other words i was hurted. I needed to time to heal and took the time to do so.

I feel better now. I had to do alot of work on myself.
I started loving myself and taking care of myself.
I also reached out to people that cares and love me.

There's alot of things in my life that I don't have control over...such as other people.
I do however have control over me and my life...so I started with this.
I can't change other people but i can change myself.
I cant change or save the world but I can change, love and take care of myself.

There's also some life on life's terms stuff that's not in my control, such as someone I love very much passing away.
I have no control over that. And yes, it devistated me. However death is a part of life. I'm not the only person in life
that has lost a love one. I processed it and accepted it as best as i could.

I've also or is throwing out old ideas and beliefs that dosn't work for me anymore.
Im still work in progress but I do feel better about myself and life today.
I've been told life is a journey. To stay teaching able. Be willing to learn. Keep an open mind.
I'm doing that best as I can. It's a continus learning and growning process.
I work the 12 steps program. Its a living program with alot of healthy or spiritual principles I can apply to my life.

I also got clean and sober at a very young age of 22.
This was my chioce. It was not my fate or chioce to live or die as a drunk or druggie.

I'm 43. I've been married. I've been been in long term relationships most of my life.
I've raised children. All are grown up in thier 20's now.
I'm currently single. Life changes. I'm changing also or adjusting as best I can.
In many ways I feel more "WELL" or free as person more than I've ever been.

Jeff,

You are just going through a difficult cycle. Do your very best. The absolute best you can do and then let it go. Fate and free will weave a tapestry of our lives I believe. But live as if it was all up to you. And realize that you do have a friend and ally in the creative force of the universe~! Prayer has helped me and it will you. When we pray we appeal to a conciousness that is beyond fate and by the grace of that conciousness anything is possible! Yo seem like a very thougtful and intersting person. There are SO MANY people who would love ot be your friend and get to know you! Rest assured they will come!

Best,

SD

Giving up your life and depending on fate, eh? Hmmmmm... that seems like a pretty stupid idea. You see fate is something that god decides. If you decide to give up on your life and see if fate can fix you.. well forget about it because that ain't happening. I mean you need to do something in order to make fate a dependable source. I can't tell you what that something is. You'll have to figure that part out.