h3donist
Well-known member
Oh god I'm so proud of myself 
After my disasterous foray into Friend finding apps like Skout (trick you into thinking someone wants to be friends then charging the user to find out who) I used Meetup.com on a recommendation.
Meetup.com is simply a site that advertises social events based on your location. Luckily I live a few miles south of Birmingham in the UK so there were a lot of events available. They had everything, and I mean everything - from art and music, social events, cinema, gig goers to more...err..niche..events such as Esperanto Speakers! You simply join that group then RSVP whichever events take your fancy.
I found a group for people suffering from social anxiety and reading the profiles of the members I suddenly realised that's what I have - an overwhelming shyness that I manage to conceal well with my generally sunny disposition, yet there have many occasions where I've not gone to places because I've been afraid of the people there - even to the point of not buying something I needed in a shop because I was afraid to speak to the shop keeper! (35 year old man FFS!)
Anyway the event that was next on the calendar was going to the cinema to see the Minions Movie, with 10 people signed up to go, so I thought why not!
I've never been so scared though, I didn't know any of the people, or indeed what they looked like (they had profile photos but often people look a lot different in real life) I was scared I'd approach the wrong group of people, imagining the howls of laughter when I asked if they were the social anxiety group! But I pressed on towards the cinema with my heart in my mouth (not literally!)
Suddenly I heard a timid female voice behind me..."excuse me...are you from the social anxiety group?". Another member had recognised me from my profile photo! (my blue hair really must stand out) so instantly all the worries of approaching the wrong group evaporated. We were about an hour early so we went to a bar and got to know each other and had a great time! We then went back to the cinema and slowly but surely everyone started to arrive, and I realised I had nothing to fear from any of them they were all lovely people, just as nervous as me.
The film was fantastic and then we went for drinks back at the bar I had been to earlier with the girl, and we all had a good chat. Finally it was time to get my train back but I grinned all the way home, knowing I had stepped outside my comfort zone and really reached out, finally making some new friends that I hope to get to know more as time goes on.
I'm now signed up to more events with the social anxiety group, as well as meeting the main Birmingham Social group who do all sorts of things from Badminton to 007 Themed Nights which I'm really looking forward to.
So for all the lonely folk out there I rate and recommend meetup.com as it's a free, no scam way of meeting new people. I hope it helps somebody
(Obviously my experiences are from UK based but I'm fairly sure it's a global site)
After my disasterous foray into Friend finding apps like Skout (trick you into thinking someone wants to be friends then charging the user to find out who) I used Meetup.com on a recommendation.
Meetup.com is simply a site that advertises social events based on your location. Luckily I live a few miles south of Birmingham in the UK so there were a lot of events available. They had everything, and I mean everything - from art and music, social events, cinema, gig goers to more...err..niche..events such as Esperanto Speakers! You simply join that group then RSVP whichever events take your fancy.
I found a group for people suffering from social anxiety and reading the profiles of the members I suddenly realised that's what I have - an overwhelming shyness that I manage to conceal well with my generally sunny disposition, yet there have many occasions where I've not gone to places because I've been afraid of the people there - even to the point of not buying something I needed in a shop because I was afraid to speak to the shop keeper! (35 year old man FFS!)
Anyway the event that was next on the calendar was going to the cinema to see the Minions Movie, with 10 people signed up to go, so I thought why not!
I've never been so scared though, I didn't know any of the people, or indeed what they looked like (they had profile photos but often people look a lot different in real life) I was scared I'd approach the wrong group of people, imagining the howls of laughter when I asked if they were the social anxiety group! But I pressed on towards the cinema with my heart in my mouth (not literally!)
Suddenly I heard a timid female voice behind me..."excuse me...are you from the social anxiety group?". Another member had recognised me from my profile photo! (my blue hair really must stand out) so instantly all the worries of approaching the wrong group evaporated. We were about an hour early so we went to a bar and got to know each other and had a great time! We then went back to the cinema and slowly but surely everyone started to arrive, and I realised I had nothing to fear from any of them they were all lovely people, just as nervous as me.
The film was fantastic and then we went for drinks back at the bar I had been to earlier with the girl, and we all had a good chat. Finally it was time to get my train back but I grinned all the way home, knowing I had stepped outside my comfort zone and really reached out, finally making some new friends that I hope to get to know more as time goes on.
I'm now signed up to more events with the social anxiety group, as well as meeting the main Birmingham Social group who do all sorts of things from Badminton to 007 Themed Nights which I'm really looking forward to.
So for all the lonely folk out there I rate and recommend meetup.com as it's a free, no scam way of meeting new people. I hope it helps somebody
(Obviously my experiences are from UK based but I'm fairly sure it's a global site)
