//////////////////////////

[Lonesome Crow]

I don't care if you look like a piece of honeysuckle Drake, that's nothing new
I still love you..man

Save your ass instead of saving your face.

It's even written in the NA book ...man

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

 

[Lexicon Devil]

that chris 3 bit made me laugh. but sorry you feel like that, anyways your buddy is back now,

 

[Naleena]

Yeah I remember that too, and apologized for it numerous times. I'm glad you only took her side of the story though Nal, considering I thought we were close. Also I don't appreciate you posting this in an open forum when it has literally nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

Drake, I posted a very generalized senario. No names were mentioned.
What I said had nothing to do with taking sides. It was about behavior and friendship. It did have something to do with your post.

Is it possible I've screwed up too many times on this site and that's why? If so, I will truly never fit in anywhere, especially when I dont even know who I am.

Look at what you tell yourself. You will never fit in anywhere IF you have screwed up too many times on this site. The two things have nothing to do with each other. You wanted to know why people don't talk to you. I offered you something to think about. Forget about right and wrong or sides. You have to change your life or you will always have the same problems. You are playing a part in this, so don't be mad at other people for staying away. Talking to you can be like emotional whiplash sometimes. Your moods swing and it's hard to know what to expect. That doesn't mean your a bad person, it means you need to change some things about yourself so you can get what you need- close friendships. You have to be what you want in a friend. The thing about friends is that they freely offer friendship. It's a gift, not a moral obligation. You can't abuse what is given or take it lightly.

I'm constantly ruining good things and taking them for granted, yet I dont know how to stop it, I'm just an ungrateful person. sincerly yours, Chris_3

It's up to you to change. You have the power to do that. Stop beating yourself up and become proactive in what you want. You can either seek councelling to get the tools you need or continue on this path that isn't working for you. What will you chose?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

okay ..no more suger coating...lets cut through the BS.

Errr...freaken addicts dosn't have relationships...they take hostages.

As You know Drake you been introduce to recovery.
You tried to stop using on your own...well, there you go superman..lol
That's why they're call support groups so you don't have to do
it alone.
You had all the best intensions...but addiction is such a cunning
enemy of life...

You know as will as I do..all of this fucken dramma and chaos
is just setting yourself to get more messed up..
The freaken dramma creates...self pity, isolations, guilt, anger, pain, and misery.
You get so mentally and emotonally wack...that you self medicate
or get fucken numb to calm your freaken nevrse ..bacially get HIGH.
Setting yourself up for a relapsed or continuing use of whatever
the heck your drug of chioce is...The cycle of insanity.
They didn't say CUNNING, BAFFLING and POWERFUL...without fucken
reasons...Duh.

You know as will as i do...addiction dosn't discriminate.
So..why worry about all the mother ******* that's not educated
to these facts. Addiction kills

You also know being abstance is not enough...but it's a very first
big step...that's why you work the steps or sometype of living
program. Pick one..You wanted to go to church..so would 12 steps
be an issue ?

Err...they didn't say...remove the alcohol from an ass-hole there
remains the ass-hole without reasons. We still carry behaviors,
habits and traits of being self-abasorbling, selfseeking , selfcenter fear base BS.

It takes time and a lot of hard work to change those traits
and living partterns. keepie yai fucken Ahhh...
#6 Be willing to remove defects of charecter...
#7 Ask god to remove your short comings...

How about not act out on our character defects so we don't create chaos and dramma (shortcomings) ?
It's not that complicated.

Stop living in fucken denial ...obviously that's step #1
The principle of step #1 gose beyound just the drug use.

Have you experince any unmanageablites in your life lately ?lol
You do feel things or your life is going out of your control ?
You do feel you have to manipulate, sceheme , ly, or bend over backwards to try to retain
control of your life ?
Have you been obsessing on a problem or anything you couldn't revolved lately ?
You do feel like honeysuckle or sick after the dramma ?

Reading this thread is like reading a recovery book.
Typical addict behaviors ...dramma and chaso.
Bi-Polar....wtf do you mean...as in Dr. Drakco and Mr Hyde ?
It's typical addicts or alki behaviors.

I'm not writting this becuase I'm judging you.
I write it becuase i love you too god **** much.
You were getting well ..when you were clean...even without a program.
People work the steps to improve and live a happy healthy life.

On top of that..it helps them to remove the mental and emotional bagages around.
Well...if you carry the **** bag around...you'll mostly react or act out to them..Duh.

You know there's help and where to get help if you want help.
You know where you fit in...you been there...Stop ******* around.

 

[Drake]

Drake, I haven't been back very long since I have been gone, but I will quite simply say that you are your own worst enemy. I hope everyone you manipulate has the wits to give back what you dish out. You can't just treat people however you want and expect them to lay down and not fight back. You can't expect forgiveness from anyone, that is not how it works. Nor does forgiveness mean people forget. Stop expecting to get your way. No one "has" to do anything. Saying your sorry doesn't mean a darn thing if you just turn around and do the same things again.

I will quite simply say I am appalled at the little bit I have seen regarding your treatment of others. The only person you really deceive is yourself.

I for one agree with Skorian. Don't impose yourself on others drake...then maybe you will see yourself having more friends.

Neither of you know me well enough to say those things, period.

Do You say hello to them? Do You say nice things to them? Do You help them? And on and on and on. If friends don't seem to value You, it's probably because they think that You don't value them. I know how what feeling crappy does to You, like everyone else in here. Keeping friends that matter is hard work, not just an occasional greeting and the standard question, and working hard isn't the first thing You're thinking about when You're feeling like crap. As usual, You're being hard on Yourself. It's not Your fault, but it's not theirs either.

Yeah I do actually, that was in the post.

that chris 3 bit made me laugh. but sorry you feel like that, anyways your buddy is back now,

I'm happy you are, one of the few people who's been honest with me. I added a new reputation comment to you too, should check it out.

Yeah I remember that too, and apologized for it numerous times. I'm glad you only took her side of the story though Nal, considering I thought we were close. Also I don't appreciate you posting this in an open forum when it has literally nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

Drake, I posted a very generalized senario. No names were mentioned.
What I said had nothing to do with taking sides. It was about behavior and friendship. It did have something to do with your post.

Is it possible I've screwed up too many times on this site and that's why? If so, I will truly never fit in anywhere, especially when I dont even know who I am.

Look at what you tell yourself. You will never fit in anywhere IF you have screwed up too many times on this site. The two things have nothing to do with each other. You wanted to know why people don't talk to you. I offered you something to think about. Forget about right and wrong or sides. You have to change your life or you will always have the same problems. You are playing a part in this, so don't be mad at other people for staying away. Talking to you can be like emotional whiplash sometimes. Your moods swing and it's hard to know what to expect. That doesn't mean your a bad person, it means you need to change some things about yourself so you can get what you need- close friendships. You have to be what you want in a friend. The thing about friends is that they freely offer friendship. It's a gift, not a moral obligation. You can't abuse what is given or take it lightly.

I'm constantly ruining good things and taking them for granted, yet I dont know how to stop it, I'm just an ungrateful person. sincerly yours, Chris_3

It's up to you to change. You have the power to do that. Stop beating yourself up and become proactive in what you want. You can either seek councelling to get the tools you need or continue on this path that isn't working for you. What will you chose?

Oh...and it wasn't obvious that you were referring to me lol? Give me a break Nal, why else would that story be told. If talking to me when I'm depressed is such a huge problem for people because I'm upfront, honest and blunt, then I dont want them as friends anyway. I'm not going to change myself so people will like me, thats absolutely absurd. I think I'm a nice person, but people seem to think because I get an attitude when I'm angry or some times say hurtful things I'm satan, well news flash, a lot of people do things they regret in the heat of the moment. I realize I need counseling or a psychologist but I hope you can understand why I'm a little turned off, considering what it has done to my mom.

 

[Naleena]

Oh...and it wasn't obvious that you were referring to me lol? Give me a break Nal, why else would that story be told. If talking to me when I'm depressed is such a huge problem for people because I'm upfront, honest and blunt, then I dont want them as friends anyway. I'm not going to change myself so people will like me, thats absolutely absurd. I think I'm a nice person, but people seem to think because I get an attitude when I'm angry or some times say hurtful things I'm satan, well news flash, a lot of people do things they regret in the heat of the moment. I realize I need counseling or a psychologist but I hope you can understand why I'm a little turned off, considering what it has done to my mom.

Drake,

People do hurtful things, that's true. But hopefully, they learn to stop their hurtful behavior, not because they want people to like them, but because they want to stop hurting others. Your being "honest and upfront" have nothing to do with the mean things you say and direct at others when you are in a bad mood. I never said you needed to change your behavior so people will like you. People like you already. What happens is, you drive people away. It doesn't matter if you are dpressed or not, when you lash out at people, you will drive them away. Absurd is doing the same thing, over and over and expecting different results.
You've already taken a big step, realizing that you need counselling and I hope you don't let the negative self-talk and excuses keep you from getting help.

Remember, we are talking about behaviors here, not you as a person.

 

[MiKeY]

Naleena,

I think you raise an excellent point... separating the person from the behavior is important. Just because you do things that are hurtful, doesn't mean you're not capable of reforming and dedicating yourself to new standards of treatment/behavior.