A social outcast...

[metalmind]

All my life I've felt like I just didn't *belong* among most groups of people. Sometimes the things that would come out of my mouth would get me lots of awkward looks (as if "I am not of this world"). But many times when I talk to others I unintentionally make my words sound so half-assed I feel embarrassed and choose to stay quiet from there on. I hate it when this happens.

I just never had the ability to "impress" others and show them what kind of person I am; it just never seemed to work that way for me. It's probably because I am a metalhead (I listen to lots of '70s and '80s metal) and because of this so many people don't seem to like being around me.

 

[PsychoBilli]

For a long time I felt the same way. Over time I learned to just go with it, though. I may say things that sound half-assed or heartless at times, but it's not my intent. Sometimes I'll say things that are just plain weird, and I go with it. I have one very extroverted friend with a solid social skill set. He's very aware of how one should act in this or that situation. Yet he'll see me do my thing and say, "You are a very strange individual... and I suspect you like it that way." There's actually a tone of admiration in his voice, too. He likes that I can break away from the norms because that's not something he could easily do.

Before I learned to embrace my quirky nature I felt like I didn't belong, that I couldn't impress people. This made me feel pathetic, and so I didn't want to trouble people with who I was. I began to hate myself for that reason. The point that started turning around was when I just began to accept myself for who I was. I stopped concerning myself with how other people saw me and started seeing what I liked in myself. As I grew more comfortable with myself, I began to find ways to express that. As it turns out, some people didn't get it, others didn't like it. That didn't bother me because I like who I am. But some - the people that are worth my time and attention - do like it. Belonging and impressing people either happens or it doesn't, you can't MAKE it happen.

And I sincerely doubt people disregard you because of your taste in music. Personally, I like hard rock and metal.

 

[trZ]

*applauds*

Bravo is spot on. His post is the truth.

And yeah I love metal (and loads of other styles of music). No one will judge you as a person for what music you listen to, and especially not 70's and 80's metal. Many of the most popular people I know have insane tastes in music.

 

[EveWasFramed]

80s metal.... *drools*

 

[Brian]

Hey man, nothing wrong with metal.

I listen to a lot of metal from some pretty obscure sub-genres, and on top of that I've been heard multiple times at work playing Benny Goodman and other big band/jazz stuff, so people definitely know I have odd musical tastes. They look at me funny sometimes or express distaste for a certain genre, but I haven't found that it really puts people off.

So it's probably something else.

If you really think it's the music, try not to emphasize it too much at first or be confrontational about it. Mention it if it comes up, but don't linger extensively if they don't want to discuss it.

Do you dress like a metalhead? Sometimes that is put-offish. I generally recommend that people dress in a more neutral way regardless of their musical or other culture tastes...we can still express ourselves without wearing a Metallica or Amon Amarth t-shirt, and be able to make a welcoming first impression.