VanillaCreme said:
There actually is a ritual, I suppose, but not in the traditional animal-like sense. Which is good, because we aren't animals. I think some guys need to also realize that as well.
Just because you want to drool over a female doesn't mean you actually should. And learn to take a hint and get a clue when we say we aren't interested. No, it's not funny, and no, it never was. We just didn't want to tell you that you were being a jackass.
Okay, I don't do this very often, but this time it is appropriate.
That's a load of cow manure.
There's no real ritual, no order, and its not as much animal as it is tribal and yes, fundamental to men. Unfortunately or otherwise, the present system is essentially chaos as far as most men are concerned.
I'm not going to get into any debate about morality but its obvious that even the most patriarchial societies offer plenty of safety for women and taboos for male behavior - but what else do they expect? Order. Structure. Absolute rules of when is acceptance, and what is expected for acceptance.
I don't know if its fair or not, but that is essentially the great difficulty of the modern man is that we are programmed, no, not just as animals, but very much as creatures that seek for some sort of clear, defined logic and order. The lack of that clear, defined logic is is what drives us nuts.
Why do you think that "PUA" artists go and begin to define every woman as a nine, ten, "onetitis", "HB" or whatever? Why do you think that men tend to define people as either 'nice guys' or 'bad boys'? Why do you think that in almost any organization dominated by males from the military to the Catholic church is also defined by rigid segmentation and clearly defined rules?
Its because especially as boys are 'becoming men', nothing quite makes sense as to catagorize, to simplify life into sets of rules and definitions of behavior where A leads to B, and B leads to C. It is to us, really, sanity.
We want to know what is "right", period. Should we be nice and accommodating as it is presented in some media? We seek a single central logic, especially as we are maturing, and that is why rites of manhood used to be so valuable in societies because they clearly defined what a man was, should be, and when a boy could be a man. The modern chaos inherently leads to insecurity for many who are simply unlucky, or listened to the wrong messages.
A society that educates men to be 'nice' and then punishes them for following the 'rules'(as far as they are concerned) is simply cruel, flagrantly hypocritical and more than that, irrational. It destroys one of the most fundamental male needs for order, and for an understandable world.
I don't suggest that there's anything better than what we have now, or more inherently fair. But it /is/ the central issue for the many, many boys that I've met and the underlying fault line of so many genuinely good and yet broken guys.
