Advice is easier to give from the Outside

[SophiaGrace]

I always give people advice here on the forums. And yet, when it comes to myself, I freeze up in the face of my own advice. I run away. I hide, i shut people out.

In real life, i am not the same person I am on here.

I'm afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. So I shove people away and I dont talk to people. I make them view me as cold because I push them away.

I judge people, afraid they'll hurt me if I am not alert enough.

I cant "read" people offline. I look at their faces to see movement to try and read their facial expressions and I go clammy/cold with doubt. doubt that i am not reading them right, that they have some sort of sinister motive up their sleeve.

And what's more...I am USED to being alone. I'm used to it. The presence of others feels so foreign. So very foreign.

And I try to explain my feelings and dont feel understood. People dont understand that I need patience/kindness to draw me out. That any manifestation of my insecurities will FADE over time if I am given patience.

Right now, my stomache feels in a knot. People are such enigmas. What is this dance I must do to make friends? To have people that care about me? what is this dance i seem to always mis-step?

online though, i understand people. You type something to me and BAM i know your emotions and your inflections like a heart-beat.

But, here, in real life. I shrink away. I doubt. I run, in circles. Even though I know the answer is to try try again and act as though you have not an insecurity in the world. I run. Scared.

*sigh*

Anxious.

I need to learn to breathe deep to unravel this knot inside of me.

 

[Haven]

All problems are easy to solve when you see it from the outside hense the expression think outside the box. You help others and others will help you. Its not that big of a deal. We help each other out.

 

[PoisonFlowers]

I am much like that too. Sometimes, I stay up trying to give anonymous advice to people I do not know over the internet. It's something I can do.

I'm the biggest hypocrite. I can't take any advice. I'm not a people person at all.

Sorry SophiaGrace, but this is one thing I can't say anything useful on. *hugs*

 

[Haven]

Your not a hypocrite.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am much like that too. Sometimes, I stay up trying to give anonymous advice to people I do not know over the internet. It's something I can do.

I'm the biggest hypocrite. I can't take any advice. I'm not a people person at all.

Sorry SophiaGrace, but this is one thing I can't say anything useful on. *hugs*

*lots of warm-safe hugs* You may be helping others though which is a good thing indeed.

 

[Disconnected]

It sounds like you would be better off ignoring their facial expressions.


Easier said than done, Im sure.

 

[CDSM]

Heh. Whenever other people turn my advice back on me, I always come up with a "that's not an option for me" excuse.

 

[heretostay]

i have a hard time taking my own advice sometimes, too. i think i come on here more to remind myself of what i should be doing, to basically encourage myself by trying to encourage others.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I don't take advice very well.lol

Maybe only from certain people that I trust. There's probably only one
person in this my life at the moment that I might consider their
input ti heart. What also means there's a lot of details or informations
that this person knows about me that I don't reveal to anyone else.
But ultimately..it's my decision and my chioce.
Beside..she's not telling me anything i didn't already have the answer to.
She tells me these things becuase she loves very much

Even my sponsor won't give me advice..lol
Suggestions..maybe , but never advice.

Even at this juncture in my life I still won't give advice to people
that are dear to my heart. Especailly people that are dear to me.

I share my experince, stenght and hope.
I let people that I love and care know I love them very much and as unconditionally as I possibly can...

I don't belive alot of people are asking for advice to begin with anyway...
Maybe for someone to listen and truely care.
mmm...especailly for people you love the most to listen and actaully hear ya
Just listen...so that they feel someone understood how they feel or think.
By being able to express themselve it might releave the stress.
Maybe a person might see cleaer and make better decisions
so they don't really need advice when not stressed out.

Ultimately a person must make decisions and take actions for oneself

Pretaining to my duaghter...I love her very much no matter what.
There are things she dose in her life that i don't agree with.
I've yet to redicule her nor judge her from when she was a child and I'm not going start now.
I repected her as a person and equal human being since she was a child.
It is her decisions. Her life. Her freedom.
What rings true for me..will not neccesary be true for her.
Whatever decisions she makes will be the correct one for her.
Whatever mistakes she makes she can learn and grow from.
I love her no matter what.
She will also open up to me about alot of things in her life that
she dosn't reveal to anyone else. It's about love and trust.
I also talk to her openly about myself becuase she had always
loved me unconditionally as a person and as her father.
She had never had to earn my love nor did I had to earn her's....