Another story of a sad life

[Mr X]

Hello everybody,

Like as if there aint enough life stories on the forum, I'll just give you another. Well, that's not really true actually. I was going to do that, I had my life typed out in a document, but then I realised nobody wants to read that honeysuckle. I realised I had to do that for myself, to know what I'm up to.

My conclusion is, that I'm not made for this life. I'm simply not strong enough to handle everything that happens in life. Sad, right? Everytime I get an opportunity in my life, I screw up. When things get too heavy, I screw up. When I have to do one single thing to make something succeed, I screw up..

I am only 19 years old. You will probably tell me that I'm still young and blabla whole life ahead of me. That is true, but I believe people don't change. I can't change. I have tried, but I can't. And as long as I don't change, my life will stay shitty. I'm kinda sure of that.

I wanna be something that I'm not. I' used to blame others for not letting me be the person I want to be, but now I have realised nobody is stopping me from being the person I want to be, but me. I am the problem, and nobody else.

I don't think anybody can help me. Why I am posting on this forum? I don't know

 

[Skid Row 89]

Hello everybody,

Like as if there aint enough life stories on the forum, I'll just give you another. Well, that's not really true actually. I was going to do that, I had my life typed out in a document, but then I realised nobody wants to read that honeysuckle. I realised I had to do that for myself, to know what I'm up to.

My conclusion is, that I'm not made for this life. I'm simply not strong enough to handle everything that happens in life. Sad, right? Everytime I get an opportunity in my life, I screw up. When things get too heavy, I screw up. When I have to do one single thing to make something succeed, I screw up..

I am only 19 years old. You will probably tell me that I'm still young and blabla whole life ahead of me. That is true, but I believe people don't change. I can't change. I have tried, but I can't. And as long as I don't change, my life will stay shitty. I'm kinda sure of that.

I wanna be something that I'm not. I' used to blame others for not letting me be the person I want to be, but now I have realised nobody is stopping me from being the person I want to be, but me. I am the problem, and nobody else.

I don't think anybody can help me. Why I am posting on this forum? I don't know

You sound very similar to me, we're even the same age. I know what it's like to want to change and how hard it is to achieve that. People CAN change but it takes time and effort, far more than what I'm capable of at the present time. Is there anything in particular that makes you feel that you're not capable of dealing with obstacles in life?

 

[Mr X]

Well, not really one thing. It's a bit of everything. I'm kinda shy and I'm not really social. This makes me weak in conversations or discussions. Even when I'm sure that I'm right, It will end up in me being 'wrong'. I say things I don't want to say.

I also keep asking myself what the point of life is and what will happen afterwards. There are 7 billion people on this planet with each of them their own problems. It makes me feel so unimportant. If I die tomorrow, my family would probably mourn for me for a few months. But after that I will be forgotten and that's it. It's not that I want to die, I really don't. Its just making me depressed that my life will probably never be important.

Lately, I don't care about anything anymore. I'm still going to school, but I simply don't care about my grades anymore. (they are still quite good haha, eventhough I didn't do sh*t for school) It used to bother me what other people thought of me, now I don't. If tomorrow my parents told me that I'm no longer welcome in their house and that I must go live on the streets, I probably wouldn't care.

 

[Skid Row 89]

Well, not really one thing. It's a bit of everything. I'm kinda shy and I'm not really social. This makes me weak in conversations or discussions. Even when I'm sure that I'm right, It will end up in me being 'wrong'. I say things I don't want to say.

I also keep asking myself what the point of life is and what will happen afterwards. There are 7 billion people on this planet with each of them their own problems. It makes me feel so unimportant. If I die tomorrow, my family would probably mourn for me for a few months. But after that I will be forgotten and that's it. It's not that I want to die, I really don't. Its just making me depressed that my life will probably never be important.

Lately, I don't care about anything anymore. I'm still going to school, but I simply don't care about my grades anymore. (they are still quite good haha, eventhough I didn't do sh*t for school) It used to bother me what other people thought of me, now I don't. If tomorrow my parents told me that I'm no longer welcome in their house and that I must go live on the streets, I probably wouldn't care.

Conversation isn't my strong point either, not everyone can have brilliant social skills after all. The good thing is that this can be improved on. Similarly to me, I think your confidence is probably lacking too which makes communication even more difficult.

Your family would be devastated by your death if you suddenly dropped dead tomorrow, there's no doubt in my mind about that even though I don't know you at all. You should think higher of them.

I empathise with you on your point of feeling unimportant and I'm certain most people go through a point in their lives where they feel like this. Everyone is capable of contributing something significant to this world if they put in the time and effort. At least you're doing something with your life, you're still in school working towards getting a future career.

 

[Peaches]

as an old(er) person, I understand how you feel (been there, done everything), but I can also tell you that people do change, sometimes a lot, sometimes they are unrecognizable, and sometimes that is for the better, so believe 100% that if you want to change, you will. Maybe you just haven't found the right angle yet.
You sound really cool, maybe your life WILL be very important, who knows.

 

[ladyforsaken]

My conclusion is, that I'm not made for this life. I'm simply not strong enough to handle everything that happens in life. Sad, right? Everytime I get an opportunity in my life, I screw up. When things get too heavy, I screw up. When I have to do one single thing to make something succeed, I screw up..

If you're not strong enough, or at all, you wouldn't be here typing this out or even breathing in this world. You'd have taken your life or die out of weakness or something.

I believe people don't change. I can't change. I have tried, but I can't. And as long as I don't change, my life will stay shitty. I'm kinda sure of that.

That's where you are wrong. Because you believe that no change can take place, you are setting this up upon yourself. If you open your eyes and observe humans, changes have been made, internally and externally. Within their power, and beyond it.

You can't change, or you don't want to?

I wanna be something that I'm not. I' used to blame others for not letting me be the person I want to be, but now I have realised nobody is stopping me from being the person I want to be, but me. I am the problem, and nobody else.

I'm sorry but I haven't followed on your story here if you've mentioned this. But what is it that you want to be that you're not?

 

[Mr X]

If you're not strong enough, or at all, you wouldn't be here typing this out or even breathing in this world. You'd have taken your life or die out of weakness or something.

Sure, physically I'm strong enough. But my mind can't handle the things that happen in life. I try, but I fail.

That's where you are wrong. Because you believe that no change can take place, you are setting this up upon yourself. If you open your eyes and observe humans, changes have been made, internally and externally. Within their power, and beyond it.

You can't change, or you don't want to?

Sure I want. Look at it like a group of people. In this group, there will be all kinds of people, the ones that speak up for themselves, the shy ones, the quiet ones, the leaders, the ones that say everything they think,... I would be the quiet, shy one that doesn't dare to speak up for himself. I would be the one with real good ideas, but I simply wouldn't be able to convice other people of my good ideas. And yeah, maybe change is possible. But in this group of people, somebody will not just change from a quiet shy guy to a leader, even if the quiet shy guy has the potential to be a great person.

I'm sorry but I haven't followed on your story here if you've mentioned this. But what is it that you want to be that you're not?

I wanna be who I think I am. More spontaneous, not as shy, having long conversations, discussing things with other people, I want to love a girl that loves me back, do something with my life, meet new people, try out new thing, go on a holiday with friends and simply enjoy my life.

But you know what? I can't. That's easy to say, I know. But it's true, right now I can't. It's pathetic!

And yes, my self esteem is below zero :club:

 

[ladyforsaken]

Sure, physically I'm strong enough. But my mind can't handle the things that happen in life. I try, but I fail.

Shall you keep trying then?

somebody will not just change from a quiet shy guy to a leader, even if the quiet shy guy has the potential to be a great person.

Of course not. One step at a time, dude. Overcome the shyness or quietness first.. then you're on the way to becoming a leader. You can't make it overnight.

I wanna be who I think I am. More spontaneous, not as shy, having long conversations, discussing things with other people, I want to love a girl that loves me back, do something with my life, meet new people, try out new thing, go on a holiday with friends and simply enjoy my life.

But you know what? I can't. That's easy to say, I know. But it's true, right now I can't. It's pathetic!

And why can't you? What's stopping you?

 

[Mr X]

Shall you keep trying then?

Of course I will, what else can I do Believe me, I wish I was stronger..

Of course not. One step at a time, dude. Overcome the shyness or quietness first.. then you're on the way to becoming a leader. You can't make it overnight.

It's not that I want to be the leader in the group, I just want to be somebody.

And why can't you? What's stopping you?

This is hard to say. You know that feeling when you've got so much work to do and you don't know what to do first? And then instead of deciding what you are going to do first, you just take a nap because you are tired of all of it. All I am doing is taking 'naps', I feel too empty to change anything even though I want it so badly.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Of course I will, what else can I do Believe me, I wish I was stronger..

Yeah, keep going!

This is hard to say. You know that feeling when you've got so much work to do and you don't know what to do first? And then instead of deciding what you are going to do first, you just take a nap because you are tired of all of it. All I am doing is taking 'naps', I feel too empty to change anything even though I want it so badly.

Take small steps first. Make small changes. It might then inspire you further to make more changes.

 

[Mr X]

unfortunately, sometimes, trying isn't enough.

 

[Regumika]

Honestly, you have already got a lot of the concepts down.

"I have realised nobody is stopping me from being the person I want to be, but me. I am the problem, and nobody else." <- this is a very very important concept to remember throughout your life. Good thing that you already got it down, because that is 85% of the battle already conquered.

By the way, you can change. Think who you were 5 years ago.

No, we can't 'help' you. But we can support you and give you ideas. Speaking your mind here may have responses that trigger further thought/understanding. You may even have an epiphany, or two. This course is yours alone to finish, but that doesn't mean you can't call a timeout and talk with your fans on the sideline cheering for you every once in a while.

 

[ladyforsaken]

No, we can't 'help' you. But we can support you and give you ideas. Speaking your mind here may have responses that trigger further thought/understanding. You may even have an epiphany, or two. This course is yours alone to finish, but that doesn't mean you can't call a timeout and talk with your fans on the sideline cheering for you every once in a while.

^ I'm with Regumika. We can support you.

 

[Dissident]

What are you studying? What are your hobbies, passions, skills? What do you want to be professionally?

These are things you should be thinking about at your age if you haven't already come up with the answers.

 

[fongab91]

When I read the first post, I felt what the heck... why everyone sounds so alike here, that's what's in my mind too sometimes, not all but majority, yes.

But when I read till a point, I felt a bit mad. The post that he said that his parents may mourned him a few months and then that's is, he would be forgotten, and he is feeling sad.

You ask about what your parents "may do" in case you died. Did you ask yourself what if the opposite, if you parents died, will you mourn for them forever?

There are hundreds of millions of people died in the third world, hunger in Africa for example. Hundreds of kids and babies died everyday. You are already 19, I am sure you know this is what happening in Africa. You know a lot of ppl are dying everyday isn't it? And you are not mourning for them?

The kids and babies in Africa are starving to their death, probably till their last breath still hoping someone would drop a food into their mouth. They are dying at the same moment, while millions of people on the other side of the earth, are walking into the night club dancing for entertainment, or getting a buffet that cost hundreds of dollars for just one, single meal, that no one realized one single dollar is more than enough for the food to save the life of one baby.

People are the same in this world. You are the same, I am the same. No one in this world owe you your life, but there will always be people with a kind heart who are willing to help, and you have to find these people, or wait for these people to find you. But still, they will help, but they will not owe you your life.

Even though you said it, I am sure you will not want your parents to mourn for you and cry in tears forever if you died. The same if your parents die, you will not allow yourself either to mourn for them forever. You will move on, and keep moving on.

Don't ask for something the answer you already know it in your heart man. Don't focus all the attention to yourself. There are good people in this world, if you want to feel the warmth, then you have to find them.

 

[Rosebolt]

That is true, but I believe people don't change. I can't change. I have tried, but I can't.

There's your problem. If you are still the same person you were ten years ago, then you have wasted ten years of your life.

 

[Mr X]

When I read the first post, I felt what the heck... why everyone sounds so alike here, that's what's in my mind too sometimes, not all but majority, yes.

But when I read till a point, I felt a bit mad. The post that he said that his parents may mourned him a few months and then that's is, he would be forgotten, and he is feeling sad.

You ask about what your parents "may do" in case you died. Did you ask yourself what if the opposite, if you parents died, will you mourn for them forever?

There are hundreds of millions of people died in the third world, hunger in Africa for example. Hundreds of kids and babies died everyday. You are already 19, I am sure you know this is what happening in Africa. You know a lot of ppl are dying everyday isn't it? And you are not mourning for them?

The kids and babies in Africa are starving to their death, probably till their last breath still hoping someone would drop a food into their mouth. They are dying at the same moment, while millions of people on the other side of the earth, are walking into the night club dancing for entertainment, or getting a buffet that cost hundreds of dollars for just one, single meal, that no one realized one single dollar is more than enough for the food to save the life of one baby.

People are the same in this world. You are the same, I am the same. No one in this world owe you your life, but there will always be people with a kind heart who are willing to help, and you have to find these people, or wait for these people to find you. But still, they will help, but they will not owe you your life.

Even though you said it, I am sure you will not want your parents to mourn for you and cry in tears forever if you died. The same if your parents die, you will not allow yourself either to mourn for them forever. You will move on, and keep moving on.

Don't ask for something the answer you already know it in your heart man. Don't focus all the attention to yourself. There are good people in this world, if you want to feel the warmth, then you have to find them.

Of course I know what is going on in the world, I think I know more about it than most people of my age do. I am not ego centered at all actually and of course I don't want to mourn my parents for me for forever.. The thing I am trying to say, there are, again, 6 billion people on this planet and I don't feel like I make any difference. One out of 6 billion aint much. I wouldn't even want to be an important person though, but it simply makes me wonder why I am on this planet and what I am supposed to do here.

---

That is true, but I believe people don't change. I can't change. I have tried, but I can't.

There's your problem. If you are still the same person you were ten years ago, then you have wasted ten years of your life.

I don't think this is true, at all. People grow up, gain knowlegde, get married, have children, get a job, get another job,... Those things may affect the way you think about things and solve problems. But your DNA won't change. You will always be the person you are today, even if you don't want it. You may behave differently because of the things you have experienced but deep inside you will always be the same.

 

[perfanoff]

Hello everybody,

Like as if there aint enough life stories on the forum, I'll just give you another. Well, that's not really true actually. I was going to do that, I had my life typed out in a document, but then I realised nobody wants to read that honeysuckle. I realised I had to do that for myself, to know what I'm up to.

My conclusion is, that I'm not made for this life. I'm simply not strong enough to handle everything that happens in life. Sad, right? Everytime I get an opportunity in my life, I screw up. When things get too heavy, I screw up. When I have to do one single thing to make something succeed, I screw up..

I am only 19 years old. You will probably tell me that I'm still young and blabla whole life ahead of me. That is true, but I believe people don't change. I can't change. I have tried, but I can't. And as long as I don't change, my life will stay shitty. I'm kinda sure of that.

I wanna be something that I'm not. I' used to blame others for not letting me be the person I want to be, but now I have realised nobody is stopping me from being the person I want to be, but me. I am the problem, and nobody else.

I don't think anybody can help me. Why I am posting on this forum? I don't know

Take that emotional whip and put it back in the locker. Mastering yourself takes a lifetime. And your life is just starting. These things as waking up as a new man NEVER happen because they CAN'T happen. Your brain is a neural network that needs to be reconditioned one subnet at a time. Keep doing it methodically or seek out situations that WILL compel you to change, and one day you will wake up as a different man.

There's a certain highway leading to my city. You can see the sea from probably 30 km away. If you start walking on it, nothing will ever change from moment to a moment, in fact it is so monotonic that time will stay still. But at some point later on, you WILL be there, as long as you keep walking. Even if you take breaks, lose your way, sometimes go back a few steps.. you will arrive.

P.S. NOBODY is strong enough for everything that happens in life. We can only accept that,