nowhere.man
Member
Man, I can't wait to get this off my chest!
So, I just turned 20 years old. I several healthy friendships, and the majority of my friends have all had at least one real relationship. Or at least try and play the field.
I, myself, have never had a steady relationship with a woman. In fact, I've never asked a girl out on a date. I've been on a couple that I didn't initiate, but I was too frightened to make anything happen.
The biggest concern I have about myself and relationships is the fact that I haven't kissed a girl since I was 14! If any of my close friends were aware of this fact, they'd be shocked. I've been told by multitudes of girls over the years that they find me attractive and enjoy being around me. But I never have the guts or know how to direct that attraction into a relationship.
I'm always worried that if I ask her on a date, in our being together alone, I'll have nothing interesting to say. Beyond that, I wouldn't know where to take her. And I don't know how to handle the progression of a second or third date, how to keep the attraction alive.
Or that if the dating becomes steady, I won't be able to impress or relate to her friends. Or that my friends will bore her.
After finishing my first year of college, my closest encounters of intimacy include intentionally getting drunk at a party in order to lower my inhibitions enough to dance with random girls and becoming enthralled with a girl who had a boyfriend, spooning with her several times at her beckoning call over the course of the year, fully aware that it wasn't going to go anywhere.
I try my best at being a gentleman, and girls find me easy to talk to. But I always end up getting stuck in the friend zone as I allow them to feel more and more comfortable discussing their past relationships. I become a therapist instead of a possible boyfriend.
Over the years, I've pretty much just suppressed the fact that I make no efforts to attract a woman into my life. I have lapses every once in while where I'm just like, "Dammit, man! What are you doing? Go out there and talk to some ladies! You're letting the chance at love pass you up!"
I don't know if I'm afraid of rejection or just fearful of the unknown, having next to none dating experience.
I know a lot of guys are satisified with just hooking up, one night stands, that kind of thing. That's not me. I want a relationship. I want to get to know the girl. Share my life and grow with her. It's just the initiation of the whole process seems so daunting considering how little I know or have experienced.
I'm not really sure what advice I'm searching for here. I mainly just wanted to share all of this, because everyone I associate with is under the impression, which I emulate, that my love life is just fine.
I guess some pointers on places to take girls on dates and advice on how the evening should progress would be nice. And how to integrate a girlfriend into the rest of your life. I imagine if I had a girl to call my own, I would want to spend as much time with her as possible. But everyone needs their space. But how much space is enough?
Anyway, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated, because, my god, I am freakin lonely.
So, I just turned 20 years old. I several healthy friendships, and the majority of my friends have all had at least one real relationship. Or at least try and play the field.
I, myself, have never had a steady relationship with a woman. In fact, I've never asked a girl out on a date. I've been on a couple that I didn't initiate, but I was too frightened to make anything happen.
The biggest concern I have about myself and relationships is the fact that I haven't kissed a girl since I was 14! If any of my close friends were aware of this fact, they'd be shocked. I've been told by multitudes of girls over the years that they find me attractive and enjoy being around me. But I never have the guts or know how to direct that attraction into a relationship.
I'm always worried that if I ask her on a date, in our being together alone, I'll have nothing interesting to say. Beyond that, I wouldn't know where to take her. And I don't know how to handle the progression of a second or third date, how to keep the attraction alive.
Or that if the dating becomes steady, I won't be able to impress or relate to her friends. Or that my friends will bore her.
After finishing my first year of college, my closest encounters of intimacy include intentionally getting drunk at a party in order to lower my inhibitions enough to dance with random girls and becoming enthralled with a girl who had a boyfriend, spooning with her several times at her beckoning call over the course of the year, fully aware that it wasn't going to go anywhere.
I try my best at being a gentleman, and girls find me easy to talk to. But I always end up getting stuck in the friend zone as I allow them to feel more and more comfortable discussing their past relationships. I become a therapist instead of a possible boyfriend.
Over the years, I've pretty much just suppressed the fact that I make no efforts to attract a woman into my life. I have lapses every once in while where I'm just like, "Dammit, man! What are you doing? Go out there and talk to some ladies! You're letting the chance at love pass you up!"
I don't know if I'm afraid of rejection or just fearful of the unknown, having next to none dating experience.
I know a lot of guys are satisified with just hooking up, one night stands, that kind of thing. That's not me. I want a relationship. I want to get to know the girl. Share my life and grow with her. It's just the initiation of the whole process seems so daunting considering how little I know or have experienced.
I'm not really sure what advice I'm searching for here. I mainly just wanted to share all of this, because everyone I associate with is under the impression, which I emulate, that my love life is just fine.
I guess some pointers on places to take girls on dates and advice on how the evening should progress would be nice. And how to integrate a girlfriend into the rest of your life. I imagine if I had a girl to call my own, I would want to spend as much time with her as possible. But everyone needs their space. But how much space is enough?
Anyway, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated, because, my god, I am freakin lonely.