confused

[stella]

if you date someone for a few months but don't actually sleep with each other, do you consider them to be an ex?

this guy i was seeing has stated that i am not his ex since i did not sleep with him. but i would consider him to be an ex since we spent all our time together and went on dates for about 6 weeks until he chucked me for not putting out lol.

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha that's kinda dumb and immature to get into the mindset that sex = dating.

So I would say that yes, you are his ex, even if you didn't sleep with him.

----Steve

 

[nerdygirl]

Ugh. UGH. UGH! So while the two of you were together, he didn't think of you as his girlfriend because you didn't have sex with him? Which means that he probably would have said he wasn't cheating on you if he had sex with somebody else. I'm so glad you didn't have sex with this guy. His mentality is all screwy.

 

[Badjedidude]

His mentality is all screwy.

....says the tentacle-lover. lol

I agree, though, seriously.

----Steve

 

[stella]

Ugh. UGH. UGH! So while the two of you were together, he didn't think of you as his girlfriend because you didn't have sex with him? Which means that he probably would have said he wasn't cheating on you if he had sex with somebody else. I'm so glad you didn't have sex with this guy. His mentality is all screwy.

never thought of that, thanks, shall put that question to him the next time i see him.

 

[nerdygirl]

....says the tentacle-lover. lol

I agree, though, seriously.

----Steve

My mentality is screwy in a better way.

 

[Badjedidude]

My mentality is screwy in a better way.

Indeed.

----Steve

 

[mintymint]

That sounds pretty ridiculous to me too. So technically speaking one night stands are all exes!? It sounds like there was some degree of emotional/time investment. I mean, it feels like you were going out right? Is some "technicality" gonna change that?

 

[stella]

That sounds pretty ridiculous to me too. So technically speaking one night stands are all exes!? It sounds like there was some degree of emotional/time investment. I mean, it feels like you were going out right? Is some "technicality" gonna change that?

yeah there was a huge deal of emotional investment which is why it hurt so much when he said i wasn't an ex and that i was not in the same league as his 'real ex's'. these 'real ex's' by the way all ran off with other men, so for him to say i wasn't in the same league as them is rather insulting.

 

[nerdygirl]

Good grief. You know what? It's better not to be his ex. It means he's not your ex. You never had a relationship with him at all. You should decide that since he's not your ex, you never even knew him!

 

[Badjedidude]

He's probably just trying to be vindictive and hurt you for some reason. Otherwise, there'd be no real reason to distinguish between who is an ex-gf and who isn't. So he's definitely singling you out for some reason. *shrug*

It's hard to say without knowing the entire situation, really.

----Steve

 

[mintymint]

I totally relate to the need to sort things out after the fact, and god knows i am still secretly dragging things around from what seems like ages ago, but there usually isn't a whole lot of satisfaction to be found there. Just don't get too stuck on it is all

 

[Badjedidude]

Just don't get too stuck on it is all

*total agreement*

In this situation it may be best to just move on.

----Steve

 

[stella]

yeah all this happened at xmas. for some reason it all flared up again tonight, largely because he continually still puts me down, its like he is taking pleasure from mentally bullying me. my head is a mess from it all. i just feel like he is getting one over on me which makes me feel weak. not only that but i am sick and tired of guys treating me like a mug because i am too nice, i bend over backwards for the guy in my life, and all i seem to get in return is a punch or emotional abuse. id rather be alone.

right i am going to delete him from everything to get some peace of mind. thanks guys and girls.

 

[shells]

He sounds like a loser.

I'm sorry that he is putting you through this. You don't deserve that BS. I realize it must be difficult since you had emotional ties to him. The fact he even said that "you aren't in the same league as his ex's" seems like a huge slap in the face.

If possible, try to let it roll off your shoulders. You deserve so much better than him. The fact he doesn't want to refer to you as an ex - he's actually doing you a favor. He sounds like a ****** that you don't even want to be affiliated with.

 

[nerdygirl]

Like I said- he said you weren't in a relationship? You should one up him and say he wasn't even in your life.

 

[Badjedidude]

You should one up him and say he wasn't even in your life.

Lol nerdygirl...I don't know if even more vindictiveness is gonna solve this. Probly best to just take the high road and let it go.

----Steve

 

[stella]

You should one up him and say he wasn't even in your life.

Lol nerdygirl...I don't know if even more vindictiveness is gonna solve this. Probly best to just take the high road and let it go.

----Steve

its tempting though to say it. i just feel sorry for the next girl he does it to.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I have a bunch of broken guitar picks. It sucks to have broken picker.

Just say it..I'd be pissed too if you someome treated me like that.

It's not that you don't care for people...it's that you care too much for them.

 

[Oceanmist23]

right i am going to delete him from everything to get some peace of mind. thanks guys and girls.

Good call! I did the same with my ex some weeks ago cos he started to play the "my life is better than yours" game,
and I can't stand that bullshit. So I cut all contact and I feel much better now. Hope it works for you too Stella
And I truly agree with what everyone else has said here, especially nerdygirl lol.
The amount of disrespect he's showing you is beyond this world.
I feel bad for the next girl who crosses his path...