Cutting.

[arteb]

Hi. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section. So, I've been cutting for the past six years, I think, though I haven't done it in like four months or something like that, but now I feel the urges very bad and I really want to do it, but I don't want to do it (if that makes sense). So, I was wondering if anyone relates.

 

[Qui]

I used to cut. it releases endorphins or something, as someone who cared to understand it better than me told me once, but anyway since I started hiking and backpacking and swimming in rivers and climbing trees and bouldering and going on rope swings and being a such I haven't even considered it.
Tell you what, try going somewhere where no one will look at you strangely and try fighting imaginary ninjas until you feel either A. Awesome, B. Badass, or C. something-that-starts-with-C-and-means-you're-cool... oh! duh, C. Cool.

possible D. Dumb, but don't even worry about it. There are imaginary ninjas to be fought!

And all eccentricity aside, I know exactly how you feel and can say from experience that you don't have to keep going back to it. You need something else that will make you feel good, and that can be hard to find.

 

[packyourbags]

Hi. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section. So, I've been cutting for the past six years, I think, though I haven't done it in like four months or something like that, but now I feel the urges very bad and I really want to do it, but I don't want to do it (if that makes sense). So, I was wondering if anyone relates.

i agree with Qui. (and yes, i used to do it as well.)
don't give in to it (hug)

 

[yamaha CS5]

Right, I used to do that, well, there were a couple of weeks a couple of months ago that I did that. But you really can't keep doing it. When I saw the first scars I quit and since then I haven't done it again, maybe 3 months. You really can't keep doing it. I'm not ashamed of it, but there's a huge stigma and you probably won't be able to show your arms in public again unless you want everyone to think you're crazy, at least not until those scars fade enough or you laser them away or something. Don't do it.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I dont think I could cut or poke myself with a blade/needle. Not even if it were to save my life. There's just something about a blade cutting in my skin or a needle going into my vein that freaks me out. Guess i'm a sissy.

I do pick at stuff on my arms compulsively but thats not the same as self harm i guess...

The others are right, if you continue to do it you'll get scars and then have to hide it from others and always be self-concious about it.

I wish I knew more about how self-injury works to offer better advice. I know someone at college who used to self harm. She has to hide it now...

*hug*

forums.psychcentral.com has a whole sub-forum for self-injury. You might want to check it out.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ya i think when you get hurt your brain relases dophamine
which feels good, it's like the same thing that happens when you smoke pot, okay pot completely floods your brain with dophamine

and qui is right there are imaginary ninjas to fight

I've done it before

on the top of a neighbors roof

 

[yamaha CS5]

I don't think so, personally. For me, it didn't feel good, maybe for someone else it does but I find it hard to believe that it feels good enough to be better than the pain. For me it was that physical pain completely overrides the rest of your system, if you know what I mean. So if you feel like **** and you cut yourself, that's the only thing you can possibly focus on, and you don't notice the 'emotional pain' anymore. It's not that it hurts more than the emotional pain, because otherwise you would be pretty stupid to do it but it's that physical pain, in whatever quantity, automatically draws all your attention to it. That's also why picking your arm helps probably, Sophia. It doesn't have to be a lot of pain to work.

 

[arteb]

Hey. Thanks for you replies. Scars are not an issue anymore, as I have them all over my upper arms, hips, stomach, chest, and knees; so a few more don't really matter. I haven't done it, in case anyone was wondering. I'm sorry if this sounds rude, as it is not my intention, but, the thing is that I don't have the energy nor the desire to do any of the alternatives. I mean, the point is to hurt myself, you know? I know, I'm stupid. But anyway, I appreciate a lot the fact that you bother to post, it means a lot. Really. I thank you all. I'm gonna keep fighting the urges.

 

[yesm]

For me personally it's just gotten old, Last time i cut was when some family issues went down and i just felt awfull so i cut a bit to releive the situation. I have so many now it wuldn't make a difference eitherway wether i cut or not, but at this point it's just kinda pointless. I think alot of it is about the attention they get, they are like my tatoos. anyway, if you have urges that kinda sucks that you have to fight them, but for me personally there just isn't much of a point anymore. So maybe you could see it that way i dunno. I'm not one to judge people for cutting or try to get them not too. That was one of the reasons i did it i think was the attention + the shock value. However i very much dislike the atention... ie.. people feeling bad for you and crap like that. I just wanted to look sort of bad ass just present this image of pain that i've expierenced. as for coping mechanisms... i honestly culdn't help you there heh... IMO cutting itself is a great coping mechanism or was for me considering how angry i'd be sometimes. i often wonder if i would have hurt somebody if i didn't learn to take the anger out on myself and neutralize it.

Sounds to me like your at that point to though, where you have so many it wuldn't really matter eitherway, so good luck. I find what gets me into those situations is focusing on whatever is bothering me in a loop and not being able to let it go. my best advice would be to take a walk. i mean tv can be a distraction or other things, but i often find removing oneself physically from an area can really free up the mind. You'd be suprised how much of an impact your surroundings have on your psyche. if you stay in one place and don't move about your stuck, so your mind will be too. If you take a walk, get out, or do something, that requires you to make different decisions and what not... it will free up your mind. so that would be my advice. goodluck.

 

[It was Mine]

I cut myself twice, On the wrist the intent was to just hurt myself. I have to admit the scars are embarrassing when people realize they are there. I'm an apprentice mechanic so when my arms are dirty they really stand out, it's cause for awkward silence when your mate see's them ha. I just pretend i don't realize they see them.

I read that emotional and physical pain both come from the same part of your brain, so I assume this is what causes people to do this in a way. As I cut I felt absolutely nothing. Something else to focus pain on. You sound like you know well enough it's not the right thing to do and it's true, your body should be your "temple". The scars are a reminder for me of the trouble i've endured and to fight on. I can understand how hard it is to muster the strength to change things for the better, but always keep in mind, when your on the bottom anything must be better. So go do it. Take your aggression and disgust out with some working out. Tire yourself out. Most would read that and leave it at that, but why not go do it. You have nothing to lose. Go get a work out book, exhaust yourself, after a couple weeks of it you'll be amazed I'll guarantee it. Life's precious and we only get one shot. So put on some angry music on the old I pod and burn off that aggression.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Errr...If I don't protect myself at work, I'll get cutted like crazy...it stings like hell
hahahaaaa...for a while I looked like a major cutter but my wounds are healed now.

Even though I don't cut myself...Everyonce in a while I'll self sabatage.
I just have a different way of inflicting wounds on myself...

Usually it's becuase I'm up set and i don't really give a fresia anymore.
Yeah...it's a wierd feeling...I get hydrant pumping through my vains. I just fresia honeysuckle up just for kicks.
It's becuase i feel my life is beyound my control and it's all messed up anyways no matter what i do.
Even if i did my part and did exactly what I was suppost to do. Things still turns out all messed up and there's really nothing I can do about it.
I hurt myself becuase that what I have control over.
I tried not to do that anymore...it's difficult for me to sit still and just process whatever the fresia it is for me to process.
I can't focus...read, write on any of those things when I'm in that state. I bascailly numb out and wish to be left alone.
I don't want people to talk to me or even look at me. Bacailly i think and feel life is fucken retarded smf severyone in it too, when I'm in that state.
if you approch me out try to fix me or cheer me up...I'll push you away becuase i don't want to be fixed.
Yet at the sametime i don't like what I'm feeling, numbing out or going through...hence i self sabatage or hurt myself...
This way everybody can be fucken happy because i get blame for honeysuckle that wasn't my fualt anyway.
When I selfsabatage...the results to me is no different....the only differance is, I feel in control even if it's all messed up.
Even if I sit still and don't do anything....I'll get blame for that too,,,becuase that's just all fucken worng too...nothing I do is good enough or right.

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

>_>


*ahem*

If any of you who are still here would like to be a part of an awesome group for self injurers, let me know <3

 

[sylvestris lybica]

Please keep fighting. I wish I had some useful tips or coping mechanisms, but in the end you are going to have to figure out whats effective for you.

Something I've never admitted to anyone.. I starve as a form of self harm but do not cut. I think there are many forms of self harm that people unwittingly engage in, but cutting is the most visible and therefore, it seems, the most harshly judged by society.

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

Please keep fighting. I wish I had some useful tips or coping mechanisms, but in the end you are going to have to figure out whats effective for you.

Something I've never admitted to anyone.. I starve as a form of self harm but do not cut. I think there are many forms of self harm that people unwittingly engage in, but cutting is the most visible and therefore, it seems, the most harshly judged by society.

"By physical self-mutilation, we mean deliberately causing injury to our bodies without the intention of ending our lives. This includes cutting ourselves, tearing out body hair (Trichotillomania), self-injurious skin picking (also called acne mutilation, psychogenic or neurotic excoriation, self-inflicted dermatosis or dermatillomania), burning ourselves, scratching until blood is drawn, reopening wounds, swallowing objects, banging our heads against the wall, breaking bones or teeth, tearing or severely biting cuticles or nails, chewing the inside of the mouth, compulsive body-tattooing, excessive cosmetic surgeries, body-piercing, etc." <---- starving totally falls within those bounds! (excerpted from http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-self-mutilators-anonymous which is all excerpted from various sources put together for Self Mutilators Anonymous's facebook group and page)

 

[JasonM]

Took a bit to find this thread.

My arms are littered with scars. I haven't hurt myself in this way for quite some time, but I always gravitate towards self destruction in one way or another. I think it stemmed from not feeling I was worth while in my youth and so I tried to punish myself. I just felt like saying that.

 

[Cucuboth]

I used to cut. Not regularly though. Only when something really bad would happen, like another rejection. I'd cut on the inside of my upper thighs, and across my chest. Most of the time when I cut, I did it in the shower. Can't say that it ever made me feel better or anything though. I guess it was more of a punishment. Another rejection, another person that called me ugly, wanting a hug and there is nobody who will, so I would cut at .. well .. at the monster. Haven't done it for a while, but, can't say that I won't do it again either with the way things are going, especially at this time of the year.

 

[Seosa]

I've just started doing it in the last week, my upper left arm is a complete mess but I deserve it tbh.

 

[sorandom5454]

I've just started doing it in the last week, my upper left arm is a complete mess but I deserve it tbh.

No one deserves it... I'm sorry you feel that way but you are worth so much more than that.

 

[Seosa]

I've just started doing it in the last week, my upper left arm is a complete mess but I deserve it tbh.

No one deserves it... I'm sorry you feel that way but you are worth so much more than that.

If you knew me, you'd agree with me.

 

[sorandom5454]

I've just started doing it in the last week, my upper left arm is a complete mess but I deserve it tbh.

No one deserves it... I'm sorry you feel that way but you are worth so much more than that.

If you knew me, you'd agree with me.

It doesn't matter what you are like, I can still say for sure you don't deserve that. Look I don't wanna poke around so it's fine if you don't want to reply but may I ask what makes you believe this? What could possibly make you deserve to be harmed in that way?