Devastation

[Mr. M]

Greetings everyone.
This is my first post on this forum, so I'm not sure about how relevant it is. Also, the accuracy of the title probably varies depending on the person. Anyhow, I'm a young adult, and I've always been very isolated and introverted
I like staying home and spending time on movies, books or games and overall in an alternative reality. So, I've never really or rarely met people with who I could forge a meaningful friendship. This year, I finished school, and according to my country's rules, I had to join the draft. The people that I had a meaningful friendship with managed to avoid it and progress in their lives by studying abroad. Now, I've been in a desperate situation for the past nine months or so, where not only I have no friends, but also I have to spend most of my days away from home in a rough and non-friendly environment, doing nothing. Initially, I thought it'd become tolerable eventually, and it indeed is not as much of a devastating situation as It was at first, but it's also not something I got entirely used to, and still causes some permanent depression.

 

[QuesT]

Hi Mr. M, That definitely sounds harsh.. What exactly do you mean by "doing nothing"? Surely you must be doing something? I only ask so I can get a better idea of what exactly you are going through. Either way, I get the picture of being away from home doing some sort of thing you don't want to be doing. I'd probably be very depressed as well. I'm not exactly sure what else to say as you didn't really ask a question of us or anything, but I get that you might be reaching for some help or support. I just don't feel comfortable speaking to your situation if I don't really know what the situation is and how exactly you are dealing with it. But don't feel you have to explain yourself if you don't want.

Welcome to the forum! Hopefully someone can help you here..

 

[Mr. M]

Ah, yes, sorry, the question is If someone knows what I could perhaps do to keep it off my mind, or perhaps if someone knows a good Fantasy fiction book. (Forgot to include it to the post, sincere apologies.) Also, as for doing nothing, I meant that I'm not doing something meaningful or something that achieves something or helps me progress in life, an unhealthy amount of dormancy if you may.
P.S. Thanks for the warm welcome!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to ALL, Mr. M.

Have you considered volunteering? It would give you something to do, as well as keep your mind off other things. Also give you an opportunity to meet new people.

 

[QuesT]

I don't mean to be annoying in any way, but for me to give anything that could possibly be helpful I would have to know more about what you're dealing with on a day-to-day basis. I don't know if it's possible for you to provide this information, I wouldn't want to invade your privacy or anything. But, as far as I know, why can't you just live the life that you enjoyed so much when you were back home? Spend time on movies, books, or games and be in that "alternative reality" that worked for you back home. Try as much as you can - even though it might be hard - to find comfort in your new surroundings. This is your new home. I'm sure there are some people that you can interact with as well, or at least there must be people around to keep you company. Even if you aren't friends with everyone, just having company can help make us feel less alone.

I haven't really read much in a while, but when I was younger I really enjoyed fantasy fiction books. Most notably Lord of the Rings, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Harry Potter.

I hope that helps, I am a believer that we all have the power to "transcend" our circumstances. I believe you can find a way to enjoy yourself in your current life situation. Find a way to that "alternative reality". Even the tiniest or insignificant of moments can bring us from bordedom or depression to joy and happiness. It may not always be a lasting solution but sometimes the best we can do is find temporary solutions. You won't be there forever.

Use the power of your own mind and thoughts to transform your world. Think to yourself in bed, "Why am I unhappy with this situation?" Come up with some answers and then ponder "What can I do to make myself a little happier?" Sometimes those "a little happier" type things go a long way.

I can give you an example of something that helps me live in an "alternative reality" as you so well put it. It might sound odd, but sometimes I think of myself as the main character in an anime set in Japan and my life is the unfolding of this story. For you, if you like books or movies, maybe think of yourself as the main character in the book or the movie, and everything that happens to you is part of that story and each struggle or even triumph that you face may just be one chapter in that story. But sometimes, thinking this way can give us a little boost, a little hope, and transform a dormant situation into a lively one.

Good luck!

 

[Nicolelt]

Welcome to ALL!

That transition from school to adult life is hard for everyone I think, but yours sounds awful! Sorry to hear that.

Hopefully you find what you are looking for.

 

[Mr. M]

Hey, thanks for your replies everyone! I am grateful and your suggestions are really helpful. You are all great!

 

[QuesT]

No - you are great! haha, glad you found our replies helpful and LONG LIVE ALTERNATIVE REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes that's the best way to live until we hopefully find a reality that we are truly happy with... i think we all deserve it, no?