I have been struggling with loneliness for most of my life. I'm really shy and have a hard time making friends. I will admit that I'm partially at fault for my own lonenliness, but to a certain extent I think many of my relatives are responsible as well. They leave me out of a lot of things and yes maybe I should ask to be included. But sometimes I feel they never think about my feelings or that I'm hurting. Does anyone else agree?
Does anyone else agree with this....
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Triple Bogey
Well-known member
diane85 said:
My Dad is quiet and shy, my Mam is outgoing. I take after my Dad. I live with my Dad and he goes nowhere, doesn't have any friends and never encourages me to do anything. In fact he spends all his time trying to find fault in any plans I have. It's like he wants me to live my life watching a tv set doing fresia all !
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
diane85 said:
ask them why
Regumika
Well-known member
First off.. I'm sorry you have to be the victim of such... neglect.
In my family (and extended), most of our relationship are good. Just to give an example though... my sister is quite the judgmental one. She isn't all the time, but when she judges it's pretty harsh. So because of that the rest of the family could easily not include her in activities that involve people outside of the family, but we don't. Now that doesn't mean I am ashamed of her. I am not saying that your family are ashamed of you. I am also not saying that there is something wrong with you. I am just saying that perhaps there is something more than just leaving you out for no reason.
I do agree that you talk to some family members, maybe indirectly? (other cousins, aunts, or uncles) It won't be easy but it has to be done if you want something to change =/
In my family (and extended), most of our relationship are good. Just to give an example though... my sister is quite the judgmental one. She isn't all the time, but when she judges it's pretty harsh. So because of that the rest of the family could easily not include her in activities that involve people outside of the family, but we don't. Now that doesn't mean I am ashamed of her. I am not saying that your family are ashamed of you. I am also not saying that there is something wrong with you. I am just saying that perhaps there is something more than just leaving you out for no reason.
I do agree that you talk to some family members, maybe indirectly? (other cousins, aunts, or uncles) It won't be easy but it has to be done if you want something to change =/
W
WallflowerGirl83
Guest
It's horrible when you feel like you're an outsider. Sorry to hear that you're going through that.
Inside of my family my step father pretty much watches TV all day long, yet he gets on me that I spend time in my room all day long but yet he sits in front of the TV all day long. It makes no sense to me. My mother does everything around the house and he never offers to help: whenever I see my mother struggling my brother and I will help without her even asking us. Anytime I know she's working and she's coming home late I remember to clean everything in the sink before she comes home from work. Who wants to wash dishes when they come home from a long day at work. It annoys me how my step father continues to sit in front of the TV and doesn't even bother to clean up after himself. He expects everyone else to do it.... he's so lazy....That's how it's like inside of my family.
Perhaps find a family member you trust, get along with and can able to open up too. Hope things get better for you in the end.
Inside of my family my step father pretty much watches TV all day long, yet he gets on me that I spend time in my room all day long but yet he sits in front of the TV all day long. It makes no sense to me. My mother does everything around the house and he never offers to help: whenever I see my mother struggling my brother and I will help without her even asking us. Anytime I know she's working and she's coming home late I remember to clean everything in the sink before she comes home from work. Who wants to wash dishes when they come home from a long day at work. It annoys me how my step father continues to sit in front of the TV and doesn't even bother to clean up after himself. He expects everyone else to do it.... he's so lazy....That's how it's like inside of my family.
Perhaps find a family member you trust, get along with and can able to open up too. Hope things get better for you in the end.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
MrE1986 said:diane85 said:
It doesn't hurt to ask
You don't have to ask directly why they don't ask you along. You could just join in their conversations about it and say that you'd love to do it with them sometime and see how it goes from there?
diane85 said:
I understand. And I'm sorry you feel this way. My family has, over the years, shown on many occasions that how I feel, what I think, or what I may want, is of no interest to them. If anything, how I feel about anything is an annoyance to them .... I am an annoyance. To them. And everywhere, I guess .... But yeah. I'm sorry you have to experience the same sort of thing.
