Link17
Member
Hey guys, I am link, new to this place, 22 year old college student.
So like u have read on the title, I think I am gonna excuse myself from the dating world for a while, I think its gonna be best for both my mental health and personal growth. Ive always been a pretty laid back kid when it comes to dating, I never worried myself about getting a girlfriend or desperate to be in a relationship, but it just hasnt been working out for me, I just kind of somehow find a way to screw it up every single time. I got really hurt when I was 17, and I think I kind of have a defense mechanism when I meet new people and am in a potential relationship, idk what is it that I do exactly to mess it up but I do, and I have some theories but I just dont want to bore u guys with the details. I am also very insecure about myself.
My grandpa died almost 3 motnhs ago, its been pretty rough to say the least :/..... I have diagnosed ADHD and a pretty bad anxiety disorder, and after my grandpa died, Its been getting worse, I have panic attacks frequently and I am a bit depressed, I am constatntly anxious, I havent done well in school either recently (or ever). Lately Ive been very isolated in my apartment, I dont go outside of my room, I cant sleep and when I do, I sleep the whole day, I just lay all day, and just stand up to shower, eat, brush my teeth or go to the bathroom, I have constant anxiety attacks, and it got so bad that I went to a doctor on Thursday, they sent me some medication for it, and told me " I looked like a kid that wasnt going through a nice time", so yeah that sums up pretty much my state of mind. Ive just been feeling very lonely, and been feeling very unnattractive (pretty big insecurity of mine), and just overall bad about myself, I dont feel capable, I dont feel smart, I dont feel like I have a personality, and I dont feel like I have a future or any potential. I live by myself, my Mom lives in the United States, so it feels even worse cause I dont have any family in the country, luckily I have a very good and close group of friends, but still......
So bcs of all of this mentioned, I just want to be more relaxed and I think it would be better for me if this semester I am about to start I just focus on school and getting better mentally, try to actually make friends (I am very socially anxious, and its worse with girls), I always try to be attractive to girls and can never be at ease or be fully myself, (which I think it might be a factor to why it all goes wrong), so Ill just be a normal guy, without trying to be "cool", and without trying to prove anything, I will try to be "asexual" in a way, not look for anything romantic, no hookups, nothing, just try to have some peace in my soul, focus on my studies, watch cool movies, try to meet new people and just make friends and just enjoy them without having to worry about all that dating crap that feels like it exhaust the mind of so many people of my age, or overall the general population.
I want to get a puppy, but in my apartment they dont allow pets :/
So what do u guys think, do u think this descision would be beneficial ? Idk how long I would be like this but I just feel like it would be for the bets....
So like u have read on the title, I think I am gonna excuse myself from the dating world for a while, I think its gonna be best for both my mental health and personal growth. Ive always been a pretty laid back kid when it comes to dating, I never worried myself about getting a girlfriend or desperate to be in a relationship, but it just hasnt been working out for me, I just kind of somehow find a way to screw it up every single time. I got really hurt when I was 17, and I think I kind of have a defense mechanism when I meet new people and am in a potential relationship, idk what is it that I do exactly to mess it up but I do, and I have some theories but I just dont want to bore u guys with the details. I am also very insecure about myself.
My grandpa died almost 3 motnhs ago, its been pretty rough to say the least :/..... I have diagnosed ADHD and a pretty bad anxiety disorder, and after my grandpa died, Its been getting worse, I have panic attacks frequently and I am a bit depressed, I am constatntly anxious, I havent done well in school either recently (or ever). Lately Ive been very isolated in my apartment, I dont go outside of my room, I cant sleep and when I do, I sleep the whole day, I just lay all day, and just stand up to shower, eat, brush my teeth or go to the bathroom, I have constant anxiety attacks, and it got so bad that I went to a doctor on Thursday, they sent me some medication for it, and told me " I looked like a kid that wasnt going through a nice time", so yeah that sums up pretty much my state of mind. Ive just been feeling very lonely, and been feeling very unnattractive (pretty big insecurity of mine), and just overall bad about myself, I dont feel capable, I dont feel smart, I dont feel like I have a personality, and I dont feel like I have a future or any potential. I live by myself, my Mom lives in the United States, so it feels even worse cause I dont have any family in the country, luckily I have a very good and close group of friends, but still......
So bcs of all of this mentioned, I just want to be more relaxed and I think it would be better for me if this semester I am about to start I just focus on school and getting better mentally, try to actually make friends (I am very socially anxious, and its worse with girls), I always try to be attractive to girls and can never be at ease or be fully myself, (which I think it might be a factor to why it all goes wrong), so Ill just be a normal guy, without trying to be "cool", and without trying to prove anything, I will try to be "asexual" in a way, not look for anything romantic, no hookups, nothing, just try to have some peace in my soul, focus on my studies, watch cool movies, try to meet new people and just make friends and just enjoy them without having to worry about all that dating crap that feels like it exhaust the mind of so many people of my age, or overall the general population.
I want to get a puppy, but in my apartment they dont allow pets :/
So what do u guys think, do u think this descision would be beneficial ? Idk how long I would be like this but I just feel like it would be for the bets....