Good morning everyone. I hope everyone is doing ok. Although I usually lurk these types of things but I was never the one to hold back my thoughts so here I decided to share my story and experiences so far. I apologize for the possibility of being a bit raw ahead of time.
I am a 30 year old Ukrainian guy born and raised and have been living in the states for over 20 years. We migrated here for a better life (won't get into the politics there) and my immediate family is small. Just me, mom, dad and aunt. I decided to assimilate myself as quick as possible, learn English quick, the whole 9 yards but didn't have too many friends and was told to go back to my own country and get out of this one and hearing slurs against my mom on a daily basis by my peers all the way from 5th to 11th grade. This sadly made me realize that Americans aren't as intelligent as I thought but hey kids will be kids and at least I didn't get into any physical altercations but words did hurt a lot. I did make 1 friend who was my best friend but sadly Leukemia did its job to the fullest and I lost him being left of my own again but I still talk to his mom any chance I can and keep the memory going. I decided not to take anymore mouth bashing and for my 12th grade and switched schools to go to a more closer one which also had a bit more Russian/Ukrainian community and even though I was ok with every race and style I still ended up doing my own thing and eventually graduated and that part was complete.
I did get a somewhat of a decent streak going around the ages of I'd say 15-18. I got a girlfriend around 15 and it was really amazing but it didn't last long and she was messing with other guys as well and eventually moved without saying a word around when I was 16 but from 16-18 I was pretty cool with a lot of people and always had plans and people were happy to see me and everyone was in sync. I guess your normal teen years. Around 18 I started to feel a decline do to perhaps me growing up and not wanting to do stupid things like drugs or getting in trouble and everyone around was growing up as well also starting colleges and such. I understood how the American system worked so I decided to try college even though it wasn't for me but I got constant bashing from my Russian community and friends how I am wrong which led me to continue to pursue being me even stronger. I started to get left out and even if I would get invited to a Russian party (Europeans party differently) I would be told to sit in the back and nobody would pay attention to me and $50 bucks adds up at every event you know. I was invited to a Russian restaurant one night I got told to sit in the back as usual and something triggered and I suddenly lost all of my energy, got up and simply left. It was a surreal feeling that I couldn't explain but it intensified that same new year eve when I was completely left out by my one last remaining close friend. I wasn't angry because I knew this was going to the start of something.
20-29, I graduated from technical school and I do IT spanning across various states in Eastern Pennsylvania for Verizon, bought a condo, have 2 cars to my name, probably buy a sports bike, condo is full of awesome tech even though I think IT is lame, tattoos, ww2 and modern guns, amazing hobbies and learned major solo activities and how to properly be a lone wolf but I am lonely and here is the twist. I am identified as en extrovert and not because of that Meyers Briggs test which I took because someone asked me too. I am a very outgoing, touchy feeling person who actually does cold approach girls in public if I find them attractive, I have been rejected so many times its actually quite an amazing experience. I just simply don't care and if I think you are cute I will approach. I don't online date because I think its for losers and while some say I am either creepy or intimidating I still cold approach because I can and I usually make the girls day by doing so and I figured someone will eventually say yes.
I am 30 now. I was out at a birthday party yesterday. Now I don't like standard generic American bars. I don't find standing around loud music over talking each other a fun Saturday activity but it was a birthday so I went. I sat down yesterday and I started people watching and needless to say I wasn't impressed as usual. I was around people but I felt alone and extremely disconnected and the funny thing is I had people talking to me but it wasn't enough. I'd much rather go out dancing as I am a very good dancer and again Europeans do it differently but I realized something yesterday. Even though the bar scene is the highest point of an standard American person its totally cool, its how they spend their night they are completely entitled to it and who am I to judge because it's not my cup of tea. So that's that really.
Moral of the story. Extroverts and people who aren't afraid to socialize be active are really lonely as well. Forced or not its not the easiest thing to deal with but takes a very strong individual to endure it.
I am a 30 year old Ukrainian guy born and raised and have been living in the states for over 20 years. We migrated here for a better life (won't get into the politics there) and my immediate family is small. Just me, mom, dad and aunt. I decided to assimilate myself as quick as possible, learn English quick, the whole 9 yards but didn't have too many friends and was told to go back to my own country and get out of this one and hearing slurs against my mom on a daily basis by my peers all the way from 5th to 11th grade. This sadly made me realize that Americans aren't as intelligent as I thought but hey kids will be kids and at least I didn't get into any physical altercations but words did hurt a lot. I did make 1 friend who was my best friend but sadly Leukemia did its job to the fullest and I lost him being left of my own again but I still talk to his mom any chance I can and keep the memory going. I decided not to take anymore mouth bashing and for my 12th grade and switched schools to go to a more closer one which also had a bit more Russian/Ukrainian community and even though I was ok with every race and style I still ended up doing my own thing and eventually graduated and that part was complete.
I did get a somewhat of a decent streak going around the ages of I'd say 15-18. I got a girlfriend around 15 and it was really amazing but it didn't last long and she was messing with other guys as well and eventually moved without saying a word around when I was 16 but from 16-18 I was pretty cool with a lot of people and always had plans and people were happy to see me and everyone was in sync. I guess your normal teen years. Around 18 I started to feel a decline do to perhaps me growing up and not wanting to do stupid things like drugs or getting in trouble and everyone around was growing up as well also starting colleges and such. I understood how the American system worked so I decided to try college even though it wasn't for me but I got constant bashing from my Russian community and friends how I am wrong which led me to continue to pursue being me even stronger. I started to get left out and even if I would get invited to a Russian party (Europeans party differently) I would be told to sit in the back and nobody would pay attention to me and $50 bucks adds up at every event you know. I was invited to a Russian restaurant one night I got told to sit in the back as usual and something triggered and I suddenly lost all of my energy, got up and simply left. It was a surreal feeling that I couldn't explain but it intensified that same new year eve when I was completely left out by my one last remaining close friend. I wasn't angry because I knew this was going to the start of something.
20-29, I graduated from technical school and I do IT spanning across various states in Eastern Pennsylvania for Verizon, bought a condo, have 2 cars to my name, probably buy a sports bike, condo is full of awesome tech even though I think IT is lame, tattoos, ww2 and modern guns, amazing hobbies and learned major solo activities and how to properly be a lone wolf but I am lonely and here is the twist. I am identified as en extrovert and not because of that Meyers Briggs test which I took because someone asked me too. I am a very outgoing, touchy feeling person who actually does cold approach girls in public if I find them attractive, I have been rejected so many times its actually quite an amazing experience. I just simply don't care and if I think you are cute I will approach. I don't online date because I think its for losers and while some say I am either creepy or intimidating I still cold approach because I can and I usually make the girls day by doing so and I figured someone will eventually say yes.
I am 30 now. I was out at a birthday party yesterday. Now I don't like standard generic American bars. I don't find standing around loud music over talking each other a fun Saturday activity but it was a birthday so I went. I sat down yesterday and I started people watching and needless to say I wasn't impressed as usual. I was around people but I felt alone and extremely disconnected and the funny thing is I had people talking to me but it wasn't enough. I'd much rather go out dancing as I am a very good dancer and again Europeans do it differently but I realized something yesterday. Even though the bar scene is the highest point of an standard American person its totally cool, its how they spend their night they are completely entitled to it and who am I to judge because it's not my cup of tea. So that's that really.
Moral of the story. Extroverts and people who aren't afraid to socialize be active are really lonely as well. Forced or not its not the easiest thing to deal with but takes a very strong individual to endure it.