Female attraction to beards and tattoos

[WildernessWildChild]

Sigh....never ceases to amuse me how ******* narrow-minded people can be. The insinuation that once a bad guy always a bad guy is so very wrong, I know several people that were once 'bad guys' that now lead decent lives, hell- I'm one of them. It makes me howl in amusement to see some no-balls punk sulking, snivelling, and whining because someone he deems 'unworthy' has the career, the girl, the life, etc. That so-called unworthy has had the balls to go out and seize life, not wait for it to happen. You might not approve of how he (or she for that matter) got there but truth is they don't give a honeysuckle what your opinion is of them. Instead of sitting here bitching about how life's passing you by, why not go out and do something about it?

 

[Badjedidude]

Stand by for cute, cuddly animal infusion.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

^Not yet BJD....

 

[Badjedidude]

Oh honeysuckle, I'm sorry... did I jump the gun?

OK, here are some gross squished insect pics:

 

[TheRealCallie]

[video=youtube]

 

[ucxb]

Indeed this is offtopic, apologies in advance for quoting but I can not refrain from commenting on how awesome it is, it's just too freaking adorables!!

love love love

 

[VanillaCreme]

Indeed this is offtopic, apologies in advance for quoting but I can not refrain from commenting on how awesome it is, it's just too freaking adorables!!

love love love

Me too! So cute!

 

[Littlesecret]

I love beards and tattoos as long as they're attracted to a lovely, funny and interesting guy!

 

[ladyforsaken]

I love beards and tattoos as long as they're attracted to a lovely, funny and interesting guy!

You mean, attached to? Lol. Or could mean "..attracted to a lovely, funny and interesting girl!" cos that would work too since you're just that.

 

[Disaffected]

[video=youtube]

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think you're a nice guy, but you wear a chip on your shoulder that is so apparent, I hope you take action to get rid of it. That is heartfelt advice btw, there is nothing angry or demeaning about my response.

Well thanks, but to be honest, I feel like the only way I can be whole again is if I know I'm absolutely kicking his ass into the ground in some way. Since I can't actually, physically destroy him because it is illegal, that's the next best thing. I feel I have to kick sand in his face somehow, or at the very least, his kind. I feel like I can't truly be happy until I do something that is a "fresia you" to the tough guys.

I don't think it's really understood how I feel. It's not like he's just someone I don't care for, someone I think is dumb. This is full-on hatred. At the same level that racists or gangs might feel towards each other. I thought I hated my childhood bullies, but this guy brings out an all-new level of pure rage. Sometimes the mere thought of this ****** is enough to make me want to break everything in sight. Sometimes I just sit and twitch with hostility. I just want this guy to burn.

You know what's funny? I don't even like that I feel this way. You said you think I'm a nice guy. And I try to be one. Before him I never even knew I was capable of hating a person this much. I feel rabid with it.

The only way for me to get this chip off my shoulder is if I beat him at something, somehow.

And her, I want her to either come back and never speak of this again so we can forget it, or, I want to become great so she knows she bet on the wrong horse. Either one would be fine.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The only way for you to get what you want is to start living for yourself and stop competing with people who don't give a fresia about you, hell even with those that might give a fresia about you.

As long as you continue to live with the sole purpose of beating someone else, you won't make it far because you can't see anything beyond your obsession with the guy and subsequently, the girl.

 

[Badjedidude]

Call me a cynic, but no girl is worth such a huge amount of effort.

If a person finds that they're working really, really hard to win over a girl, to make the world right, to beat the other guy...

...chances are they're simply trying to force things. It smacks of... an attempt to will someone to love them. Or deceive, manipulate, cajole, bribe them into it.

If a person truly views love as a series of codes (or actions, wardrobe, accessories, car, "tough guy" attitude, etc) to input into a woman to achieve the desired outcome of love, I'd say that person needs to stop and re-evaluate his or her understanding of what love is.

But that's just my opinion.

 

[Pike Creek]

And her, I want her to either come back and never speak of this again so we can forget it, or, I want to become great so she knows she bet on the wrong horse. Either one would be fine.

There is a real possibility that neither will happen. Meaning, yes, you can be a great person, but will she actually care? Who knows. What we want we can't always get. But if you start to take action to be the MAN you want to be, not an angry immature thug who wants to injure someone, then you can probably shake that anger a little and start to see what's important. I mentioned how long I was alone, holding on to anger/bitterness/resentment will guarantee your loneliness, and you don't always realize how quickly the time will pass you by. Just be careful to make your life choices thoughtfully with your own happiness in mind, not to get back at anyone. I wish I had those 20 years back, but what's done is done. Took me too long to move on, but at least now I'm happy again.

 

[TheSkaFish]

The only way for you to get what you want is to start living for yourself and stop competing with people who don't give a fresia about you, hell even with those that might give a fresia about you.

As long as you continue to live with the sole purpose of beating someone else, you won't make it far because you can't see anything beyond your obsession with the guy and subsequently, the girl.

It's hard for me to believe there's any point in me trying when I am constantly presented with proof that it's a badasses' world and the rest of us are just living in it. The thought of "knowing my role" disgusts me, but perseverance in the face of that seems stupid. I can't accept that, but I have no real way to beat it either.

I have to try because I can't accept it. I don't want to be the kind of person who has to accept it. But it seems so futile. Thinking I couldn't get what I want is what got me here. But it got proven true. So it makes the belief that I just can't win that much stronger.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The only way for you to get what you want is to start living for yourself and stop competing with people who don't give a fresia about you, hell even with those that might give a fresia about you.

As long as you continue to live with the sole purpose of beating someone else, you won't make it far because you can't see anything beyond your obsession with the guy and subsequently, the girl.

It's hard for me to believe there's any point in me trying when I am constantly presented with proof that it's a badasses' world and the rest of us are just living in it. The thought of "knowing my role" disgusts me, but perseverance in the face of that seems stupid. I can't accept that, but I have no real way to beat it either.

I have to try because I can't accept it. I don't want to be the kind of person who has to accept it. But it seems so futile. Thinking I couldn't get what I want is what got me here. But it got proven true. So it makes the belief that I just can't win that much stronger.

It's hard for you to see it because you are so obsessed with it. You just proved that with what you wrote.
You care more about these supposed "badasses" than the badasses care about the badasses.

Thinking you can just have any girl you want and then obsessing about it when you didn't is what got you here. Girls are not possessions. They aren't always going to like you or choose you. THAT is what you need to learn to accept. Work on YOURSELF, on what YOU want to be. On what you HONESTLY want to be, not what you think will get you want to want or the girl you want or to show you are better than someone. Once you start focusing on yourself FOR yourself, things will fall into place.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Thinking you can just have any girl you want and then obsessing about it when you didn't is what got you here. Girls are not possessions. They aren't always going to like you or choose you. THAT is what you need to learn to accept. Work on YOURSELF, on what YOU want to be. On what you HONESTLY want to be, not what you think will get you want to want or the girl you want or to show you are better than someone. Once you start focusing on yourself FOR yourself, things will fall into place.

See, I feel that she could have though. We had enough overlap that we were able to connect for almost a year. She wasn't just some girl that I fumbled my way through awkward attempts at conversation at a party or a bar. And it wasn't small talk either. We talked about deep things that mattered to us and there was a lot she shared with me. I feel like if I'd just chosen a different personality, if I'd just chosen to be someone else, maybe even not that different from who I am now but enough that I would have registered as potent enough for her to have been attracted to me, then I could have done it. I've been told looks aren't my problem, so I know it's my personality. It's who I've chosen to be, how I see myself that messed me up.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Thinking you can just have any girl you want and then obsessing about it when you didn't is what got you here. Girls are not possessions. They aren't always going to like you or choose you. THAT is what you need to learn to accept. Work on YOURSELF, on what YOU want to be. On what you HONESTLY want to be, not what you think will get you want to want or the girl you want or to show you are better than someone. Once you start focusing on yourself FOR yourself, things will fall into place.

See, I feel that she could have though. We had enough overlap that we were able to connect for almost a year. And it wasn't small talk either. I feel like if I'd just chosen a different personality, if I'd just chosen to be someone else, maybe even not that different from who I am now but enough that I would have registered as potent enough for her to have been attracted to me, then I could have done it. I've been told looks aren't my problem, so I know it's my personality. It's who I've chosen to be, how I see myself that messed me up.

Okay, let me ask you this. Were you YOURSELF when you were talking to her? No games, no bullshit, no pretending....
If you were, than that's all you need to be. Pretending to be someone you aren't to attract a girl is a lie and most of us don't appreciate that because who you REALLY are will eventually show through. You can't hide it forever, you will slip and we will see it. That's a major red flag right there.

Aside from that, what you had with that girl was an online thing. Not everyone wants a long distance relationship. Not everyone is capable of that. Perhaps the girl didn't want that. Her boyfriend, regardless of how you feel about him, is THERE, is he not? That's a major plus for him and a negative for you.

If you want to change yourself, do it for YOU, not for anyone else.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Okay, let me ask you this. Were you YOURSELF when you were talking to her? No games, no bullshit, no pretending....
If you were, than that's all you need to be. Pretending to be someone you aren't to attract a girl is a lie and most of us don't appreciate that because who you REALLY are will eventually show through. You can't hide it forever, you will slip and we will see it. That's a major red flag right there.

Yes, I was myself but at the same time, "myself" wasn't really any good. Even I will tell you that. Like I said we had enough overlapping interests that we could converse well, and we seemed to really "get" each other the way we thought about some things, but I didn't have a job, I wasn't getting out into the world and doing things, I didn't have enough stories. I had hobbies but hadn't really gotten anywhere on them due to discouragement. I wasn't coming off as confident. She asked me on more than a few occasions, "why is it always a common theme that you're trying to do this and that?" I was indecisive, I had too much self-doubt that was preventing me from doing anything at all. Which isn't masculine. I wasn't showing that I had direction, I wasn't living like I meant it.

That's the common problem I've noticed with these girls I like. There were two others as well. I like these very physically attractive, intellectual, adventurous, fascinating, exciting, passionate girls that are very confident and have lots of stories, lots to talk about. And I want to BE all of those things they are, I wanted that before I met them, before I knew girls like that existed outside of my head.

I think I know where my problem area is - I've got enough common interests with these girls that I can get my foot in the door and we can talk, but because I don't have my life in order, I'm not on their level yet. So they have all the traits that attract me, but it's me that's missing the traits that would attract them. It's like, I want to be those things too but I didn't have them in time. I wasn't ready to meet them yet. And I blame myself because my beliefs led me to think I wasn't someone who could be all these interesting things. If I'd just chosen to be someone else, I could've done it. I wonder who I could have been and what I could have gotten if I had grown up confident and believing I was good enough to get what I wanted, instead of always expecting the worst, both in life and myself.

Aside from that, what you had with that girl was an online thing. Not everyone wants a long distance relationship. Not everyone is capable of that. Perhaps the girl didn't want that. Her boyfriend, regardless of how you feel about him, is THERE, is he not? That's a major plus for him and a negative for you.

If you want to change yourself, do it for YOU, not for anyone else.

Well, I thought I had a chance because she told me she tried the online thing before. And she was unimpressed with everyone she was meeting in her town. So I thought I'd finally met someone who didn't care that we met online. Yes, I admit that it hurts me that I am not there. But at the same time, idk. I can think of at least 5 times off the top of my head that she said something to the effect of wishing I was closer, or inviting me up to Canada outright. One time we even planned what we were going to do together on a visit.

I know I'll never get anywhere just sitting here complaining and believing that the badasses own the world. But at the same time, I kinda feel that ship has sailed and now it doesn't matter what I believe. My lifelong beliefs have sunk me for good and even if I change, I missed the boat.

 

[Pike Creek]

I didn't know you met her online, that's a whole different story. I tried the online dating thing, long distance...it didn't work at all. Sure, we had long chats on screen, we even talked on the phone and he made lots of promises to me. But in reality, I was just some kind of fantasy for him because he proved not to be serious at all about a lasting relationship with me. I find the problem with meeting someone that way is that it's a facade, there is too much room for misrepresentation, lies and exaggerated words and feelings. Unless you meet the person face to face, it's just fantasy. Unfortunately I was proven right about this, and I guess you were too. This turned me off any type of long distance relationship, so I focused on meeting someone I could see, touch, and love in person. I think you should do the same, but I also see by your posts that you're too preoccupied with the fantasy to face the reality and move on. I still stick to the advice I offered, but at some point you have to take action and stop focusing so much on the what could have been. Good luck to you SkaFish, I hope you can get yourself out of it, not much more I can say here though.