MentatsGhoul
Well-known member
I really don't wish to sound like an entitled internet "nice guy" here, so apologies if I come off like that. But to give credit where credit is due, I really don't think I'm that bad of a catch once someone gets to know me. I'm good looking, in decent shape. I have a strange sense of humour, but to the people who actually enjoy it I can be a really funny guy, hell just recently my best friend said 75% of her laughing fits are because of me. And yes, while I am a bit of a sarcastic tactless *******, I'd like to think I have a good heart, give everyone a fair chance, admit my shortcomings and would go through hell for the few people I actually care about.
Just, the problem is I'm not someone who exactly draws people in with my overwhelming charisma. Just the opposite in fact. People who don't know me usually avoid me like the plague. I have quite a bit of social anxiety so I don't know how to act around people I don't know, often either being too distant and not being able to say anything, or the opposite, getting too familiar too quick and putting people off. This is a huge obstacle for making friends, but it's especially apparent when it comes to finding a relationship. There's just... so little initial attraction there, that I have barely anything to work with. It doesn't help that I admittedly don't feel much attraction (at least not beyond physical) to many girls anyway. It's like I talk to girls and they just instantly put a block on me. And no, I know my boundaries and I don't act "creepy" or anything. I just don't have that "spark" that makes people take notice of you and want to get closer, and that puts a huge roadblock on my chances of finding someone.
It's just... I don't know. People will usually say "Work on yourself and put yourself out there". But, despite being depressed and having anxiety, I'm okay with "myself" 99% of the time, and I am aware of most of major faults and am trying to be above them, and putting myself out there just doesn't help. I'm not really sure what the point of this thread was, just, can anyone relate or give advice? I feel the only hope I have is if I get extremely lucky and have enough chemistry with someone that I can be myself instantly. Normal dating seems impossible for someone like me, as I'd never even get to the first date, and if I did, I'd probably weird her out or bore her to death.
Just, the problem is I'm not someone who exactly draws people in with my overwhelming charisma. Just the opposite in fact. People who don't know me usually avoid me like the plague. I have quite a bit of social anxiety so I don't know how to act around people I don't know, often either being too distant and not being able to say anything, or the opposite, getting too familiar too quick and putting people off. This is a huge obstacle for making friends, but it's especially apparent when it comes to finding a relationship. There's just... so little initial attraction there, that I have barely anything to work with. It doesn't help that I admittedly don't feel much attraction (at least not beyond physical) to many girls anyway. It's like I talk to girls and they just instantly put a block on me. And no, I know my boundaries and I don't act "creepy" or anything. I just don't have that "spark" that makes people take notice of you and want to get closer, and that puts a huge roadblock on my chances of finding someone.
It's just... I don't know. People will usually say "Work on yourself and put yourself out there". But, despite being depressed and having anxiety, I'm okay with "myself" 99% of the time, and I am aware of most of major faults and am trying to be above them, and putting myself out there just doesn't help. I'm not really sure what the point of this thread was, just, can anyone relate or give advice? I feel the only hope I have is if I get extremely lucky and have enough chemistry with someone that I can be myself instantly. Normal dating seems impossible for someone like me, as I'd never even get to the first date, and if I did, I'd probably weird her out or bore her to death.