Getting professional help

[lostatsea]

I'm just wondering how many people have tried getting professional help and how effective it has been. As a realist I know that I'm living a lonely life because I have issues. This isn't something that just happened suddenly. I read other people's stories and get the same gist. Reading the "why are you alone thread" in the lonely section, I think a lot of people are self-aware as well.

Having no friends? Having never been in a relationship? Socially awkward? This is not "normal" in the sense these problems should be solvable. But instead you see people, including myself have the same issues for years and for some board members decades.

Choosing to be alone is one thing. But nobody chooses to be lonely. At the same time, I myself hate the situation, but have done nothing productive about it over the last several months. It is so self defeating, and just adds to the regret. I like many people on this board know what they have to do to improve their situation but don't do it. WHY?!!?! There must be a psychological disconnect. I myself think I'm chronically depressed and know for a fact I have low self esteem. I know I lack any real motivation, as the idea of doing anything just makes me think, why bother... People get infuriated with me asking if I really want to change. I say I do, and I know nothing would make me happier than finally living the life I desire. But the actions don't follow that, and friends have said it's obvious I don't really want to change.

I've seen a therapist about it, and had little to no real improvement. He was pretty much just a nice guy who talked to me and asked me questions with no real aim. I'm schedule to see a psychiatrist this coming Monday for a real evaluation.

Have any of you gone to seek professional help? Has it helped at all? Did they prescribe drugs?

 

[R2349]

There's part of me that still thinks, I know that all I have to do to fix my situation is to smile more, to approach people more, or, if I can't do that, then to go and get myself a counselor or see a doctor. But every time I try, nothing seems to change. I've been to over 5 counselors in the past 9 years, with the same results you mentioned (nice guys, we end up having nice conversations, nothing gets solved). I've gone to a couple doctors, and neither has taken me seriously. One told me I didn't look like I was depressed, ran a blood test, then gave me some trial medication for anxiety. Which I didn't take .__.

I guess, you mean by professional help, an actual psychologist? I haven't done that partly because I've heard it's expensive, and partly because I don't like thinking about spending money on something I feel I should be able to fix myself.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've gotten professional help, and I'm doing a lot better than I used to.

I'm still not completely over it. I think I will always be shy (when did shy become a disorder?), and because of this, I feel that I will always be somewhat of a loner. I actually like being alone, most of the time, but sometimes it is too much.

 

[Case]

Have any of you gone to seek professional help? Has it helped at all? Did they prescribe drugs?

Yes, yes, and, uh, yes.

I had the exact same reaction to a therapist as you. She was a nice woman, but I ended every session an emotional ball of jelly, and she'd say, "Well, I'll see you next week." It took about three months of no progress to make me realize that this was doing nothing for me. Dredging up emotions with no guidance on how to improve myself was the biggest waste of my time and money.

Good luck with the doctor on Monday. My only advice is that you are in charge of your pathway to health, so if you don't feel comfortable with this doctor, choose another. Don't settle.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I like many people on this board know what they have to do to improve their situation but don't do it. WHY?!!?!

Just my two cents and I could be completely wrong, but....

"Change" is likely one of the most difficult tasks a person will ever attempt.
For people with depression and other issues, I would think that drumming up enough mental and emotional energy just to maintain the current position in life is difficult enough - much less finding the amount it takes to make the substantial and long-lasting changes that a lot of people want to make.
I think that the longer you've lived your life a certain way, the more difficult it becomes to change your individual status quot.
Again.... just my two cents.

 

[panfruit]

I'm just wondering how many people have tried getting professional help and how effective it has been. As a realist I know that I'm living a lonely life because I have issues. This isn't something that just happened suddenly. I read other people's stories and get the same gist. Reading the "why are you alone thread" in the lonely section, I think a lot of people are self-aware as well.

Having no friends? Having never been in a relationship? Socially awkward? This is not "normal" in the sense these problems should be solvable. But instead you see people, including myself have the same issues for years and for some board members decades.

Choosing to be alone is one thing. But nobody chooses to be lonely. At the same time, I myself hate the situation, but have done nothing productive about it over the last several months. It is so self defeating, and just adds to the regret. I like many people on this board know what they have to do to improve their situation but don't do it. WHY?!!?! There must be a psychological disconnect. I myself think I'm chronically depressed and know for a fact I have low self esteem. I know I lack any real motivation, as the idea of doing anything just makes me think, why bother... People get infuriated with me asking if I really want to change. I say I do, and I know nothing would make me happier than finally living the life I desire. But the actions don't follow that, and friends have said it's obvious I don't really want to change.

I've seen a therapist about it, and had little to no real improvement. He was pretty much just a nice guy who talked to me and asked me questions with no real aim. I'm schedule to see a psychiatrist this coming Monday for a real evaluation.

Have any of you gone to seek professional help? Has it helped at all? Did they prescribe drugs?

My five years seeing a psychologist culminated in me getting out and going to college. He assured me that I would make friends, that it would be possible for me to interact socially with the common folk just like anyone else. I was super-thrilled at first and loved it. I was confident in myself, I interacted with people really well I think; but other people seemed much less than thrilled for me to be interacting with me. It was ultimately a disaster. People were polite with their snubs, and I was only openly ridiculed twice (same person), each time they were rebuked by other students. In general it was the same thing I tend to get from most every other person I ever meet: looks of shock and disgust, staring, and seething resentment to even have to look at me or interact with me (my facial appearance inspires violent revulsion very often).

After that venture went down in flames I stopped going to therapy. After 5 years there was nothing more that talking could do for me, as my primary issue is physical. I did actually spend the entire rest of that year, a good 7+ months, outdoors doing lots of activities, photography, sketching, running, etc, but I always receive the same treatment at best. At worst there is ridicule or even attacks. I have enough experience now to say for sure that the more time I spend outdoors within range of others, the more I will be harassed. It makes summers very unpleasant, as I would love to spend all the time outdoors, but have to try to handle groups of youths following me slinging titters and insults.

I wish I could afford to move to the country. *sigh* Oh well. At least my flat is clean and decent, and my neighbors - aside from the chainsmoking - reasonable and quiet. Could be worse!

 

[ladyforsaken]

I like many people on this board know what they have to do to improve their situation but don't do it. WHY?!!?!

Just my two cents and I could be completely wrong, but....

"Change" is likely one of the most difficult tasks a person will ever attempt.
For people with depression and other issues, I would think that drumming up enough mental and emotional energy just to maintain the current position in life is difficult enough - much less finding the amount it takes to make the substantial and long-lasting changes that a lot of people want to make.
I think that the longer you've lived your life a certain way, the more difficult it becomes to change your individual status quot.
Again.... just my two cents.

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