How do you cope with your loneliness?

[Chair]

For the past few years, I have been an extreme recluse which has had the effect of causing me to feel extremely lonely at times.

At first, the loneliness was unbearable to the point where I felt like I could take my life. With time though however, I became more and more used to the seclusion. I've fortunately not felt suicidal for years now.

Sometimes I wish that I could have the courage to start 'living' my life, get a girlfriend and do the 'normal' things people are supposed to do in life, but the thing is though that I experience a great deal of anxiety while in the company of others which is (at least) partially due to my Asperger's.

Anyway, it isn't very often that I feel lonely anymore, but every once in a while I will feel an almost unbearable amount of loneliness, so here is my question - how do you people cope with your loneliness? Do you try to focus your attention on something like a video-game, a film or a book (for example)?



I look forward to your comments.

 

[sappy]

i just find something i want to do and do it....i like being by myself but not all the time...when i get lonely i just find something to distract me....i do smoke alot of weed though.... which actually helps immensely...not saying everyone should go do it....it just works for me

 

[PoisonFlowers]

I use the internet and listen to a lot of music.
Sometimes, I people tire me anyway....
So I guess it's not so bad. Maybe.

 

[darkwall]

@ Sappy: smoking a lot of weed on your own is practically the quickest way to mental illness known to man (barring taking a lot of psychedelics on your own).

@ Chair: Asperger's high five! I play honeysuckle-loads of online chess, get in lots of online arguments (I find it's easier to get people to talk to me if they disagree, I am classic troll), read, play guitar, listen to music, watch films ... some other stuff. Hey, I'm not saying it's a particularly good way to deal with it. I am comfortable with my loneliness. Sometimes there's something bittersweet in it, perhaps in that in beginning to pity myself I can start to feel positive thoughts about myself again, and yes, then I begin to feel that loneliness is my friend.

It was impossible to say all that without sounding like an emo.

 

[EveWasFramed]

(I find it's easier to get people to talk to me if they disagree, I am classic troll),

*raises eyebrow*

 

[darkwall]

Well ... more like, I will get into an intellectual debate with someone rather than simply post something controversial on a Britney Spears board. But yes, I am self-aware enough to know that the basic needs of myself and a conventional troll are pretty much the same. It gets lonely under these bloody bridges ...

 

[heretostay]

I think having my dog around really helps me. she gets me out of the house even when i just want to be a recluse and its really easy to start up a conversation with other dog owners.

 

[epileptic]

@ Sappy: smoking a lot of weed on your own is practically the quickest way to mental illness known to man (barring taking a lot of psychedelics on your own).

@ Chair: Asperger's high five! I play honeysuckle-loads of online chess, get in lots of online arguments (I find it's easier to get people to talk to me if they disagree, I am classic troll), read, play guitar, listen to music, watch films ... some other stuff. Hey, I'm not saying it's a particularly good way to deal with it. I am comfortable with my loneliness. Sometimes there's something bittersweet in it, perhaps in that in beginning to pity myself I can start to feel positive thoughts about myself again, and yes, then I begin to feel that loneliness is my friend.

It was impossible to say all that without sounding like an emo.

I would like for someone to define mental illness. Because I was honestly considered mentally ill before I ever smoked any types of weeds.. I could come up with tons of things that could lead to mental illness. One mainly being the ones that are involved in the popular religious beliefs. A lack of mentally stimulating your brain can lead to mental illness. Not believing the norm compared to popular belief based around societies terms can be considered mentally ill. I would actually prefer to be considered "mentally ill" while everyone else can be "normal" . Ive always been rebelious towards everything that I was told to be or believe. And I will always have this rebelious nature.

 

[Lilac]

It's been so long, I think I've just creating a way of numbing myself to everyting.

 

[sappy]

@ Sappy: smoking a lot of weed on your own is practically the quickest way to mental illness known to man (barring taking a lot of psychedelics on your own).

@ Chair: Asperger's high five! I play honeysuckle-loads of online chess, get in lots of online arguments (I find it's easier to get people to talk to me if they disagree, I am classic troll), read, play guitar, listen to music, watch films ... some other stuff. Hey, I'm not saying it's a particularly good way to deal with it. I am comfortable with my loneliness. Sometimes there's something bittersweet in it, perhaps in that in beginning to pity myself I can start to feel positive thoughts about myself again, and yes, then I begin to feel that loneliness is my friend.

It was impossible to say all that without sounding like an emo.

I would like for someone to define mental illness. Because I was honestly considered mentally ill before I ever smoked any types of weeds.. I could come up with tons of things that could lead to mental illness. One mainly being the ones that are involved in the popular religious beliefs. A lack of mentally stimulating your brain can lead to mental illness. Not believing the norm compared to popular belief based around societies terms can be considered mentally ill. I would actually prefer to be considered "mentally ill" while everyone else can be "normal" . Ive always been rebelious towards everything that I was told to be or believe. And I will always have this rebelious nature.

same here...i was clinically depressed before i even smoked....and i dont want to get into the effects of weed because this isnt the place for it and there are way too many opinions on it...but im just saying as far as the mental illness goes ...i had that before i started smoking pot...til this day im still taking anti-depressants

 

[epileptic]

@ Sappy: smoking a lot of weed on your own is practically the quickest way to mental illness known to man (barring taking a lot of psychedelics on your own).

@ Chair: Asperger's high five! I play honeysuckle-loads of online chess, get in lots of online arguments (I find it's easier to get people to talk to me if they disagree, I am classic troll), read, play guitar, listen to music, watch films ... some other stuff. Hey, I'm not saying it's a particularly good way to deal with it. I am comfortable with my loneliness. Sometimes there's something bittersweet in it, perhaps in that in beginning to pity myself I can start to feel positive thoughts about myself again, and yes, then I begin to feel that loneliness is my friend.

It was impossible to say all that without sounding like an emo.

I would like for someone to define mental illness. Because I was honestly considered mentally ill before I ever smoked any types of weeds.. I could come up with tons of things that could lead to mental illness. One mainly being the ones that are involved in the popular religious beliefs. A lack of mentally stimulating your brain can lead to mental illness. Not believing the norm compared to popular belief based around societies terms can be considered mentally ill. I would actually prefer to be considered "mentally ill" while everyone else can be "normal" . Ive always been rebelious towards everything that I was told to be or believe. And I will always have this rebelious nature.

same here...i was clinically depressed before i even smoked....and i dont want to get into the effects of weed because this isnt the place for it and there are way too many opinions on it...but im just saying as far as the mental illness goes ...i had that before i started smoking pot...til this day im still taking anti-depressants

I used to be on all sorts of anti-depressants.. zoloft,effexor, wellbutrin, concerta, prozac, lexapro and some others i cant think of at the moment.. Obviously not all at the same time, but there was one time when i was put on prozac, concerta, and wellbutrin at the same time. I was seriously like wtf??!?! And then I stopped taking them all together. Something is seriously wrong when a doctor is having you take 3 different pills like that. I have abandoned the notion that strangers like that are actually looking out for my best interests. I have litterally taken it upon myself to find ways to not be depressed. Meditation while listening to binaural beats, living a healthy and active life style, activities that help stimulate the brain, and Ive even been dabbling into light therapy. And once I order some St. Johns Wort seeds and start growing my own, I'll be able to harvest my own anti-depressants. My Mind and body will thank me for everything that i am trying to do to make them strong. Seriously, do you think that taking all these synthetically created drugs is the best thing for your body? Oh, btw.. look into light therapy, I really think it works because Ive been full of energy and confident lately. Its a good thing to, because I need to stand up for my rights as a father because Im going through a divorce, and a kid is involved. I need to be strong for him and be there for him. I'll be asking for joint placement. 50/50 .. I only ask for whats fair

 

[Haven]

Mind numbing T.V. and videogames. It dulls the pain.

 

[indigo999]

Its hard, I started to drink much more than I ever used to. I cannot cope with the thought that many of the most irritating and annoying people I ever worked with all seemed to make friends and relationships very easily. That makes your mind start telling you that its what you deserve or that you are defective and to stay away from others so you give up trying. I think humanity is intensely cruel and as ruthless as any animal that ever lived. If you don't fit in then you are supposed to go away and die.

 

[darkwall]

OK, I'll be honest: one of the main ways I used to relax is by smoking orange bud and soloing on guitar to Howling Wolf or Muddy Waters songs. But it's still a really bad idea. What messed me up though, I think, is shrooms.

What is this "binaural beats" thing? And by light therapy do you mean a light box?

 

[Lawrens]

Hobbies usually helps, productive ones usually help me little by little in a longer run, could it be art, music or whatever, or writing, mind would be silly doodlings, just keep at it and set up a routine for those, the thing is they're productive works that I could show other people, even when I'm doing bad, one or two people can still appreciate it, it is an expression of one self, and when someone appreciate it, be it crappy or not, it's comforting, and surely, I at least have something to believe I could get better in, even though that might not truthfully be the case, but baby steps.

There are days where you can't get anywhere with them, and you can't see anything great out of it, that's when the more mind numbing ones comes in: films, video games, music, once you've had too much of those, back to other hobbies. They're both form of escapism for me. I sometimes want to escape even from my hobbies, and that's why it's great to have a few for me to alternate between.

 

[Aedammair]

I am often seclusive. I don't ever sit with groups of people unless I am honestly friends with them. I walk into a classroom and I head straight for the corner. I have never had a girlfriend, I never hang out except on the rarest occasions. I haven't wanted to take my life for it but I think I understand the loneliness and yearning that seclusion brings. I often feel like I am just looking through a window and watching everyone else live life and grow. Everytime I try and climb that fence to get to that greener side I slip and fall on my face. I drown myself in that seclusion. I go to my room and just listen to music or I read a book and escape into a world of fantasy where I feel freer. I don't know if that will help you but books, games (Video or PC), and music help for me. Still I don't know if that is actually helping or hindering me. It makes me feel better but I would bet it doesn't help me break from the seclusion. It just makes me long for it more.

Wish I could help more
Aedammair