How Do You Explain Your Life To Your Girlfriend?

[Trent]

If a Girl did that to me, I'd slam the door behind them, right after I shouted a few foul words.

very few girls would walk out on you for having that sort of past.

but many, many more would work behind the scenes to sabotage the relationship, so they can have the best of both worlds: get out of it and blame you.

you are thinking actively.

most girls work passively within relationships.

 

[shesafrozenfire]

If a Girl did that to me, I'd slam the door behind them, right after I shouted a few foul words.

but many, many more would work behind the scenes to sabotage the relationship, so they can have the best of both worlds: get out of it and blame you.

This goes for both genders.

Plenty of people, men and women alike, can't handle it when a significant other battles depression. People often take it personally, saying, "Why can't you just be happy? You have someone who loves you... why isn't that enough to make you happy?"

They just don't get that it isn't logical.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

My life is easy to understand.

And if she isn't one of those judgmental people who don't understand social anxiety, then I should be good to go. Most people do, and I probably wouldn't want to go out with a judgmental girl, anyways.

but it's like a oneway street with you..no???

You dont wanna go out with a chicks that has issues either...

I have issues...lots of them. The thing about it is...Im not going to tell women
Im dating my problems. The facts of the matter are...most if not all women dont want ot hear
about my problems...they have enough of their own problems and issues.
Plus i would be using it againt me.....
There's plenty of dudes out there without issues, better looking, more econamically secure or have life
going for them more than I do...
A woman is going to look for the best posible mate for her. Thats all there is to it. A lot guys understands this too.

A guy is also going to look for the best possible mate for him, too.

It's not a one way street with me. You obviously don't know me. I want someone who's attractive (to me, at least), intelligent, has the same interests as me (geek), kind, loves animals, is sort of an artistic soul, etc.

I always seem to attract girls that are the exact opposite, in every way. I almost had it going with one girl 2 years ago, and it went nowhere. Mostly because I send off the "I am too nerdy for you" vibe.

I am not ashamed of being a nerd or geek. I don't feel like I need to change. I just want someone who will accept me and love me for who I am.

Obviously you wouldn't understand, because you are the polar opposite of me. So you can't possibly give advice, other than using it as a way to peeve me off.

 

[aribeth]

Never considered to bare all to the significant other. Some things are better left unsaid, unless it gets serious. A relationship has its own issues to contend with, and its milestones. Many relationships dont go the limit either. Most fall apart.

Im only at the start of a relationship. I still have the first meet up to contend with. Whether there's chemistry or a green light.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm single at the moment.

When I get a girlfriend, I'll tell her about my life and then come back and let you know how I did it.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm single at the moment.

When I get a girlfriend, I'll tell her about my life and then come back and let you know how I did it.

LOL Bad Jedi Dude! :club:

 

[VanillaCreme]

If a Girl did that to me, I'd slam the door behind them, right after I shouted a few foul words.

but many, many more would work behind the scenes to sabotage the relationship, so they can have the best of both worlds: get out of it and blame you.

This goes for both genders.

Plenty of people, men and women alike, can't handle it when a significant other battles depression. People often take it personally, saying, "Why can't you just be happy? You have someone who loves you... why isn't that enough to make you happy?"

They just don't get that it isn't logical.

I agree with this. I'm kind of dealing with that issue. I don't understand why he must be so miserable sometimes.

 

[Lady Gaga Snerd]

The past is the past. Focus on TODAY and the here and now. When you are with someone as a friend or date engage in the stuff of TODAY. Enjoy today. What is done is done. And, you don't have to allow the past to control your future.
As for "secrets", you aren't being secretive to not discuss every detail of your life. And, if you find a special someone and get to know them well, that at some point you might delve into the past. But, how you delve into the past will affect how they feel about it as well. If you have moved on from your past, it isn't something that anyone will hold against you.

 

[Superfly47]

Brain scans have shown that depressed people's brains are functioning differently than regular peoples.

If someone has a relative die, the person becomes depressed and the serotonin levels drop to match it.

For people with depression the brain spontaneously decreases serotonin levels for no reason.

When you tell her that you have depression, explain how it is different from regular depression. That brain scans have shown its real.

She will also wonder, how will this affect you in the future? What is your depression like today? How will it affect the relationship?

When asks about the past, part of her does want to know more about more, another part wants clues for what the future holds. If really bad stuff happened. You'll have to explain why its going to be repeated. If it was many years ago, maybe you had med changes since or learn to deal with it better and that won't happen again.

What are you most afraid of her knowing? What specifically? 10 years ago I checked into a hospital for suicidal thoughts. That was with meds for depression when it turned out I had bipolar, haven't had anything like that since being on lithium years ago.