How skewed is this forum?

[lostatsea]

Everyone here has issues and is more understanding of other people's problems and issues. I posted a quick thread about mine with the girl on a different forum that was frequented by "normal" people. I got this huge backlash of insults.

Nonstop people talking about how I'm 30 and she's 18, and how I was obviously manipulating this girl and getting off on the fact that she was a virgin. About how it's sad a 30 year old man should even talk to a 18 year old.

How could I possibly be surprised by her change the way I treated her so poorly.

But in the end it kind of made sense. People here are extremely kind. They will side with the poster. But how much of that is "true"?

 

[sandguy]

ur lucky

 

[lostatsea]

Can you explain what you mean? Lucky in what way?

 

[Triple Bogey]

Everyone here has issues and is more understanding of other people's problems and issues. I posted a quick thread about mine with the girl on a different forum that was frequented by "normal" people. I got this huge backlash of insults.

Nonstop people talking about how I'm 30 and she's 18, and how I was obviously manipulating this girl and getting off on the fact that she was a virgin. About how it's sad a 30 year old man should even talk to a 18 year old.

How could I possibly be surprised by her change the way I treated her so poorly.

But in the end it kind of made sense. People here are extremely kind. They will side with the poster. But how much of that is "true"?

some forums are horrible places. Best to stick here.

 

[lostatsea]

It's good to see other views. In business there's something called groupthink. Where you have too many like minded people, that you get skewed ideas. The fact that everyone here is lonely and many have issues, makes it more compassionate, but sometimes possibly unrealistic.

Not saying it felt good being attacked on the other forum, or that people here are wrong. But sometimes, seeing what a "normal" person thinks is a good thing. Another entirely different perspective.

It was rough, and I felt defensive. But sometimes tough, rough, love is what people need to here.

 

[Seeker]

But in the end it kind of made sense. People here are extremely kind. They will side with the poster. But how much of that is "true"?

People here don't always side with the poster, it's just that instead of insulting him/her they use the consultative approach and gently suggest solutions to the problem instead of bashing them, bashing never helped anybody and, quite frankly, would eventually undermine the whole concept of this forum.

 

[Sci-Fi]

^ Exactly, and plus that kind of behaviour isn't always tolerated here either.

 

[lostatsea]

^ Exactly, and plus that kind of behaviour isn't always tolerated here either.

It makes sense why not for the purpose of this forum. But I think my main takeaway is that it's good to get other views than ones possibly just on this forum. This forum is "unusally" understanding, which is great.

But going back out into the real world, you won't get that level of compassion. Which isn't a good thing. But it is a reality.

 

[Solivagant]

But going back out into the real world, you won't get that level of compassion. Which isn't a good thing. But it is a reality.

I think most of us know that. That's why we're here.

 

[lostatsea]

But going back out into the real world, you won't get that level of compassion. Which isn't a good thing. But it is a reality.

I think most of us know that. That's why we're here.

Just imposing my own ignorance on others I guess than. I was so surprised by the reactions I got, because they were so... blunt. Hurtful, but also very possibly truthful. Which I think is what I personally need sometimes.

 

[Sci-Fi]

People here can be very blunt and truthful too, but most do it in a way as not to set out to be hurtful. That's the major difference.

 

[Locke]

The internet is a cold and unforgiving place, and I wouldn't call people on average websites "normal". You've seen nasty Youtube comments, right? That is not normal behavior in real life. People say mean things online because they know they can get away with it.

We are a little more compassionate here, but that doesn't mean we're not honest, and I can name at least a few people who are blunt.

 

[Broken_n_Lost]

Im blunt.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^ Exactly, and plus that kind of behaviour isn't always tolerated here either.

It makes sense why not for the purpose of this forum. But I think my main takeaway is that it's good to get other views than ones possibly just on this forum. This forum is "unusally" understanding, which is great.

But going back out into the real world, you won't get that level of compassion. Which isn't a good thing. But it is a reality.

Well, I think probably cos in real life, people judge you firstly by the way the situation looks and you probably don't get to explain to them in detail as you do here so they can't really see or get where you are coming from. Here, you get to explain and tell the whole story.. readers will then get to understand.

You can get that level of compassion in real life from people, just harder to find people who would take the time to stop and hear you out all the way.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I was called a pedophile when a 19 year old WOMAN flirted with me, and I was 29. I asked on a different forum if I should make a move. The amount of people that called me a child molester, even though we were both adults, was mind boggling.

Yes, I know what it's like. People are idiots sometimes.